Utah: Salt Lake City, Punk!

The geography around SLC is some of the most beautiful I have seen in this country. The Wasatch mountains are totally, like tall. And there's like these really cool rocks, you know? It would be wonderful to live here--if only there were some party people. And, oh I don't know, some bars. Oh, and maybe some adult bookstores? And don't even ask me how many Mormon temples I had to go into before I found a decent gloryhole...

Is it really fair that the Mormons get to have such a cool looking place when they are so snoozeville? Couldn't they be moved to Nebraska or something?

It's a good thing that there aren't any Mormons in California. (Cue ominous foreshadowing music here.)