A Holly Jolly Christmas

Fosco knows that plastic is evil and dangerous and unsustainable, but at Christmastime it's also a bit cheery (and we all need some cheer...). And that's where Christmas figurines/knickknacks/tchotchkes/ornaments/decorations come in.

(BTW, if you want to see some really gorgeous Christmas knickknacks, check out this post on John Mackey's blog. Not only are his photos breathtaking, but we also have a great deal of taste overlap. John Mackey is who Fosco would be if he had a good camera and a steady hand. Alas.)

But anyway, Fosco wants to share with you his annual Christmas display (atop his Theory bookshelf). In case you're wondering, that giant white-ish glacier behind the figures is another row of books seasonally camouflaged with "snow."

Yes, it's the stars of the Rankin/Bass stop-motion animation Christmas special "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (1964). For some reason (and it's not really the plot), this special has become a Gen X holiday touchstone, bringing ironic joy to millions of aging hipsters every holiday season.

Let's have some closeups:

That's abdominal abominable snowman Humble Bumble with aspiring homosexual dentist Hermey. You can see that Hermey has already defanged Humble Bumble.

Here we have famous polar explorer (and Bear icon) Yukon Cornelius. And yes, that's the snowman narrator, an ice-crystalled version of the legendary Burl Ives (who is holding both and umbrella and a banjo!). Oh, and that's some random elf nerd. I think he's the one who sexually abuses Hermey in Act I.

Finally, we have the stars of our show: Santa, Rudolph, and the polka-dotted Misfit Toy Elephant (were children in the '60s so unimaginative that a polka-dot elephant would have been a misfit?). Why isn't Rudolph's nose red, you ask? Because, as you may remember from the show, he covers it with dirt to make it look normal. And sure enough, this figurine actually has a black nose cover that can be removed to get to the red light-bulb nose (not pictured).

And for your enjoyment: