Picture of the Day

Fosco's friend Anne Hathaway at an Inaugural event. She always looks so beautiful.

Your Initials Could Kill You (Seriously)

Fosco enjoys making fun of Parade Magazine as much as any other person who prefers to read magazines that don't come free with the Sunday paper (well, except for the Times Magazine--that rocks!). But every once and while, it's actually possible to learn something from Parade. Like, for example, nine tips on how to live a longer life. While some of them are pretty obvious ("6. Have your heart attack in Las Vegas," or "9. Don't cross the street on December 23." Duh!), there is also this surprising titbit:

In one intriguing study, California researchers analyzed death records to find out whether there was any correlation between people's initials and how long they lived. They divided their subjects' initials into positive and negative groups. The good-initial group included ACE, WIN, WOW, and VIP; the bad contained RAT, BUM, SAD, and DUD. Then they matched up initials with lifespans and looked for any correlation. The results were stunning (and also hotly debated): A person's initials actually may influence the time and cause of his or her death. "A symbol as simple as one's initials can add four years to life or subtract three years," the researchers wrote. They speculated that bad initials were irritants, or stressors, which over the course of a person's life can add up and contribute to health problems.

Luckily, the real people behind the Fosco and Oz avatars, as well as Fosco's new friend Anne Jacqueline Hathaway, have initials that spell neutral nonsense words, so they're in the middle. However, Fosco does know some people who will probably be affected:

• Friend-of-the-blog John Ezekiel Mackey spells JEM. I'm not sure if this is a bad thing or a good thing in terms of longevity, but I do know that it is truly outrageous.
  
• Gay activist pal Ted Aquinas Gideonse spells TAG. This is a good thing if we're talking the game, but bad if we're talking the body spray.
  
• Corn-syrup-defamer Todd Ulysses Draper spells TUD, which isn't a word, but still sounds yucky regardless.
  
• Romantic blogger Joanna Oprah Goddard spells JOG, which is a healthy activity and will no doubt lead to greater longevity.
  
• College roommate and blog czar David Shasta Lat spells DSL, which is slower than cable internet access. I think that bodes ill for his life expectancy.

Of course, if something as minor as one's initials produce enough stress to shorten lifespan, we probably should start worrying about other, similarly minor, stressors. Things like itchy socks. Or persistently cawing crows outside one's window. Or freecreditreport.com television ads. And there is no fucking way that Fosco is ever going to wash his car again. That should be good for like ten extra years.

I'm going to live forever!

Be My Friend, Anne Hathaway?

Fosco isn't generally that interested in celebrities, unless they are impossibly attractive or do something incomparably stupid. Oh, and he does occasionally enjoy a good episode of "Hey Paula." But he rarely gets the feeling that he would like to hang out with or be friends with any celebrity. And yet, Fosco has been getting this huge friend crush lately for Miss Anne Hathaway. Like so much so that he's starting to think that it might be fun to get stuck next to her on a plane sometime (an idea he got from this story).

Here--I'm just going to say it... I think Anne Hathaway is really cool.

Why is Anne Hathaway so cool? Some reasons:

• She was like a teen role model (in the effortlessly enchanting Princess Diaries movies) who then graduated to showing her ample bosom and serious acting skills in the Brokeback. Not that many actresses have successfully made that transition (case in point). I think it would be fun to go dress shopping with her and joke about her boobs.
  
• She's had some bad luck with men, but she's very funny about it. Her previous boyfriend seems to have dropped the Pope's name to defraud investors (which seems like a bad idea if you are at all concerned about the ultimate destination of your immortal soul). But Anne is very funny about the whole thing, responding to Ellen's recent attempt to fix her up:
  

  "At this point I would just like him to be law abiding."

  That's comedy gold, Anne.
  
• She's really smart. And I don't just mean "Hollywood smart" or "actor smart"--you can aspire to either of those categories just by wearing glasses. No, Anne went to a reputable Seven Sisters college (although not the best one) and also NYU. She was an English and Women's Studies major (two of Fosco's faves). And recently, she used the phrase "process metaphysics" during an award acceptance speech. I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but I'm starting to suspect that Anne and I could have a meaningful conversation about literature.
  
• She's politically engaged, especially when it comes to gay rights. On a red carpet, she recently called out Obama about the Rick Warren thing. And in an interview to promote her upcoming Bridezilla movie, Anne identified her best wedding memory as her brother's same-sex wedding. (In the same interview, she also names one of Fosco's favorite songs, "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, as a must-play song for her own wedding.)
  
• Oh, and the best part about her political engagement? She puts her money where her mouth is. As Fosco documented earlier, Anne donated $10,000 to fight Prop 8 (which is a lot of money, really).
  

Now Anne, I'm sure you get this kind of thing all the time, especially from well-read gay bloggers (who are rarer than one might think...), but... well... do want to get a veggie burger at Shake Shack and talk about The Great Bolaño the next time Fosco is in NYC? Fosco will buy.