From the Annals of "News"

During the last twenty-four hours,

• Israel went on the offensive against Hamas in Gaza.
  
• the military coup in Guinea consolidated its power.
  
• Kashmir continues to vie to be ground zero for the first nuclear war.
  
• and, closer to home, Satan Bush has opened the California coastline to oil drilling.

With all this important news, can you imagine what is on the front page of the (online) New York Times?


Oh. I see. Well, I guess it's this kind of insightful cultural journalism that makes the Times so respected (especially among the skating youth).