And the wiener is...

Fosco hasn't watched the Oscars in five years (ever since he moved from Charlottesville and consequently lost his invitation to the best Oscar party on the planet). But apparently, the Academy keeps awarding the statuettes anyway. This year, the host is the supposedly charismatic Hugh Jorgen (say it out loud--dirty!), apparently as part of his X-men Origins: Wolverine publicity tour.

Fosco hasn't seen any of the "Best Picture" nominees this year, but that won't prevent him from offering his dear readers (you!) a chance to participate in an Oscar poll. Look to the top of the righthand column and cast your vote now! Let's see how accurately Fosco Lives! readers can predict the future.

Of course, the suspense of the whole thing has been effectively killed by super- egghead Nate Silver, who has already used logistic regression to predict the winners. He was right about the election (among other things), so I'm going to take his advice on this.

If the Oscars plan to outdo the Grammy's this year in terms of drama, then one of the stars needs to be assaulted by his/her significant other. I wouldn't be surprised if the Academy has already contacted Dame Helen Mirren and asked her to "take one for the team." Personally, I think Dakota Fanning has gotten a little cheeky lately and could stand to be knocked down a peg. Plus, as she's dating Sean Penn, it's only a matter of time...

Or, if you'd rather just ignore this year's Oscars and complain about the year that your favorite movie (Hint: "I wish I knew how to quit you") lost to some undeserving celluloid trainwreck (or car-wreck...), you can check out this article about the greatest Oscar mistakes. The biggest one? Hint: "I'm the king of the world!"