Saturday Story Hour: Boxing with David Schickler

It's Saturday Story Hour--even when it's a busy week.

Last week's story left at least one of you feeling melancholy, so this week I want to make up for that with a story that approaches romantic comedy(!).

Believe it or not, sometimes a writer publishes his or her debut story in The New Yorker--after which, of course, pretty much everything else is downhill. For example, the author of today's story, David Schickler, debuted "The Smoker" in TNY and (sadly) has never written anything nearly as good or successful. Fosco's writer friend NR was so enamored with "The Smoker" that he looked forward eagerly to the publication of Schickler's first collection (Kissing in Manhattan); however, after reading the collection, NR literally threw the book out the window--he was that disappointed. Fosco would never dispose of a book, but he agrees that the rest of Schickler's collection was not nearly as good as "The Smoker."

What makes "The Smoker" so good? Well, for one thing, it's a humorous and quirky take on the old teacher-student romance cliche. Charmingly, it plays that scenario without resorting to cheap sexual thrills, favoring instead awkwardness and sweet incomprehension. And there are some gems of dialogue:

"Is this real? I mean, are you . . . in love with me?" He couldn't believe what he'd asked.

"I'm ready to be," said Nicole. "And I mean this as a compliment, but I've got nothing better to do."

I must say, that's kind of a good line.

Now if still think the story sounds a bit odd and creepy, that's because I haven't sprung the story's surprising twist on you. I don't want to give things away, but this isn't really your typical teacher-student romance story (no "Don't Stand So Close to Me" here). I would suggest you give the story a chance: see if it doesn't charm you by the end...

You can read "The Smoker" here.

And if you must discover David Schickler's other work, please do so by following these links:



submit to reddit

Getting Fish Wrong

Should "Foodie Friday" be renamed "Fact-checking Friday"? Just a thought.

Ever since Fosco was a small child, his favorite fast-food item has been McDonald's Filet-O-Fish. Of all of the fast-food out there in the world, no single item is responsible for a larger percentage of Fosco's excess body weight than that damned Filet-O. It's kind of the perfect sandwich, really (especially if your goal is heart disease).

So you can imagine Fosco's surprise when he read of the so-called "Filet-O-Fish for grownups" available at an Italian fish restaurant in Manhattan. In this NY Times review, Jill Santopietro describes the sandwich:

Their fried fish panini is a grown-up Filet-O-Fish: a toasted brioche roll filled with large pieces of peppery fried fish fillets, mayonnaise-y tartar sauce, a sad little tomato slice (just like at McDonald’s) and twin leaves of iceberg.

Sure, the sandwich sounds great but did you notice the clear error of fact in this description? Anyone who has ever actually eaten a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish could tell you that the sandwich has never featured "a sad little tomato slice." Part of the point of the Filet-O-Fish is that it ignores vegetables (like lettuce or tomato) entirely.

Fosco sheds a tear for the once-proud New York Times. Is a front page correction too much to ask?

N.B., In the last eight months or so, Fosco has only eaten one or two Filets-O-Fish. When you reach a certain age, fast-food starts to do outsize damage to one's health. Sigh.

Rounding Up the Food

It's "Foodie Friday," so let's talk about food...

Fosco isn't really feeling ambitious on "Foodie Friday" this week, so he's just going with a post of food-related titbits:

• Times food critic Frank Bruni reviewed The John Dory this week. The John Dory calls itself a "British Seafood Restaurant," which should make one ignore the whole thing. However, it is also the creation of a very serious chef, April Bloomfield, so we must take notice of it. Bruni gives the place two stars (which means "very good") and is generally enthusiastic. Fosco was stopped in his tracks by this paragraph:
  

  There are nervy surprises. For a while Ms. Bloomfield served pan-fried milt, which is basically cod semen, its flavor and texture not unlike that of sweetbreads. She blasted it with capers and butter, which is also how she blasts its replacement for the time being, monkfish liver, served not in the pâté-esque way of many Japanese restaurants but as a hulking, meaty, pan-fried lobe. I admire her immensely.

  That's right, my friends: cod semen. See above right.
  
  
• You know what Fosco has been craving lately? A cocktail. Which is strange, because Fosco hasn't been drinking much the last few years (since his body got old). But, for some reason, Fosco has really been jonesing for a Pimm's Cup, like the one he enjoyed last summer at The Slanted Door. It's actually more of a summer drink, best enjoyed around Wimbledon-time (it's an English cocktail, of course), which may explain why it does not currently appear on Slanted Door's online bar menu right now.
  
  The thing about a Pimm's Cup is that it's difficult to make it correctly here in this country (as most bars lack Pimm's). However, as Camper English notes, the Slanted Door makes a very delicious approximation using gin &c. The other ingredient generally lacking around here is borage leaves; however, as English notes as well, cucumbers work almost as well.
  
  Now assume that Fosco doesn't want to try to make his own Pimm's Cup (authentic or approximated). Any ideas on where I could order one in the Bay Area?
  
  
• Speaking of cocktails, did you see that you can now get Sweet Tea-flavored vodka? Now Fosco has been getting tea-infused liquors (especially gin) in his cocktails for a number of years now at several local bars, so this doesn't seem like much of an innovation. But I'm sure that this wider exposure of tea-infused vodka will be greeted with much rejoicing at certain SEC football games.
  
  
• A couple new blogs (well, new to me) that I'm really digging! You may recall Fosco's extraordinary interest in the cuisine of Jean-Georges Vongerichten. Well, it turns out that Jean-Georges has his own blog and it has absolutely gorgeous food pix.
  
  Also, if you're a silly Top Chef aficionado (like Fosco and Oz), you should be reading Skillet Doux. The Top Chef power rankings on that blog are pretty helpful. And there are also useful reviews of various Top Chef contestant restaurants.
  

For you nervous flyers...

Introducing the newest international terrorists:

Clearly, Obama needs to take a harder line on Canadian immigration.

UPDATE (4:20 PM PST): On Hardball, Chris Matthews keeps referring to the "bird attack." Fosco knew this was more sinister than just an "accident."

Catching Up on your Reading: Part II

The last few weeks were the holidays and all, so it's entirely understandable if you fell behind on your reading. Today on Fosco Lives! Fosco will be pointing you toward things you should have read over the holidays but might have missed.

Living on the West Coast doesn't allow Fosco to travel to New York City very frequently (at most, once a year). However, he still likes to stay in touch with the NYC restaurant scene (because, when he is in NYC, he likes to eat well). For this reason, Fosco likes to read New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni.

When he got the job in 2004, Bruni may have seemed a strange choice for the job of restaurant critic based on his background as a serious news reporter (covering both Capitol Hill and the Catholic Church). Despite this, Fosco is quite high on Bruni--and has been, ever since Bruni's hilarious review of the steakhouse at the Penthouse Executive Club. Bruni is funny and interesting and an amazingly fluid writer. So you don't want to miss this duo of Bruni pieces from over the holidays: "Wishes for a New Year" and "Same Table Next Year?"

In the "Wishes" piece, Bruni lists the developments he would like to see in the world of fine dining in 2009. Fosco is intrigued by ideas like

I’d like to see less pork belly, only because we’re well beyond some fatty saturation point now, and more lamb belly, because it’s fantastic, too.

And someone of Fosco's heroic carriage can only applaud this idea:

I’d like to see restaurateurs show a little more sense and mercy when it comes to deciding how many seats can be wedged into a given space. While I’m fine with trading away some comfort for a lower price point — that’s the inevitable and understandable name of the game — I’m increasingly noticing seating arrangements that make me gape and laugh.

If only San Francisco's Slanted Door would take this advice.

Bruni's other piece is a roundup of the best new restaurants of 2008 and his list of his favorite new dishes of the year. Some highlights:

MOMOFUKU KO’S FROZEN FOIE GRAS David Chang turned a classic torchon into flakes piled high, like an incongruously fatty and liver-y Sno-Kone, over a brittle of nuts and a sweet wine gelée.

[...]

CORTON’S CARAMEL BRIOCHE It’s a dessert (with banana and passion fruit in the mix), a cheese course (thanks to Stilton), a breakfast (in its mimicry of syrupy French toast) and altogether wonderful. [pictured above]

Fosco's mouth is watering something fierce right now. If a reader wants to ship me either of these (on dry ice) via overnight mail, just ask for my address...

NYC Journal: Bouchon Bakery

We've finally come to the last installment in Fosco's ongoing series on his pre-Christmas weekend in NYC with his boyfriend Oz.

Sunday morning brunch found Fosco and Oz at the Time Warner Center on Columbus Circle to have brunch at Thomas Keller's Bouchon Bakery. Brunch was a real treat because Fosco and Oz were joined by Fosco's college roommate David Lat, former Wonkette and current managing editor of the Breaking Media blog empire. David is great fun to chat with and lives an interesting NYC life. In fact, he's something of a hero to Fosco.

As far as Bouchon Bakery goes, Fosco has read much criticism of the location. It's true that the dining "room" is an open space on a mezzanine in the middle of the Time Warner mall. And indeed, there is some resemblance to a mall food court. On the other hand, Fosco has never eaten at a mall food court with this view of Columbus Circle and Central Park:

The menu at Bouchon Bakery is very casual and quite affordable--focusing on baked goods and pastries, with a Gallic flair. Fosco ordered the Bouchon take on the traditional PB&J. This is CBJ: Cashew Butter and Apricot Jelly on Toasted Brioche (served with banana chips).

This was an excellent sandwich. Oh yeah, and that's hot chocolate in the background. Mmmm.

Oz opted for one of the daily specials, the Macaroni and Cheese:

Fosco wishes he had paid attention to the waitress's description of this Mac & Cheese because it was the best he's ever tasted. It was creamy and French-tasting. Exceptional.

For dessert, Fosco and David split some profiteroles, which actually should have been better than they were.

Well, at least they were beautiful.

And that, my friends, puts the exclamation mark on Fosco and Oz's weekend in NYC. Thanks for reading along.

NYC Journal: Jean Georges

Finally. As you may have already guessed, this is the post you should have been waiting for all along. Because, for anyone who loves food, this is the highlight of Fosco and Oz's weekend in New York: an evening of gastronomical worship in one of the best restaurants in the US, the eponymous flagship of master chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten.

First, Fosco needs both to acknowledge a debt and provide a disclaimer. Two years ago, Fosco took a long weekend in New York with a (now former) friend and wanted to eat a life-altering meal (it was after The Accident and Fosco needed a little joie in his vivre). Fosco did his due diligence and came up with a list of possibilities, but for help narrowing it down, he turned to his blogopal and NYC food aficionado, John Mackey. John was very helpful and very emphatic that Jean Georges was the right choice for an incandescent evening. And John was right. That's the debt.

However, I do want to note that despite the fact that Fosco appears to have ordered most of the same dishes that John ordered on his last visit to Jean Georges (as chronicled here in his blog), Fosco did not return to eat dinner at Jean Georges as part of some "John Mackey Pilgrimage"--a desperate struggle to recreate John's experiences in NYC. Rather, you should conclude that Fosco enjoys Jean Georges because it is super yummy. That's the disclaimer. Now let's talk about Fosco and Oz's evening.

Right away, it is important to note that one does not dine at Jean Georges for the decor. Not that the room is ugly (by any means). There are lovely white lights on the trees outside the windows and there is an elegant gold-leafed vault in the ceiling. There is a swooping white and gold chandelier. But that's about it. I wouldn't even call it minimalism, because the decor doesn't call attention to its lack of grandness. Basically, it's a peaceful room that stays out of the way of the food.


By the way, anyone who thinks that the recession is hurting fine dining in NYC didn't try to get a reservation for the night of December 20th this year. Fosco and Oz could only squeeze in at 10:45 PM; however, as that translates into 7:45 PST, Fosco and Oz still felt appropriately awake and hungry.

Our meal commenced with a three-part amuse bouche, which we forgot to take a picture of. There was a silky-smooth cauliflower-cumin soup topped with a bright pink hibiscus(!) oil. There was a sultry smoked salmon strip wrapped around a chunk of Japanese pear. And there was a dried clementine segment infused with chili powder. The cauliflower soup was the standout here, although both Fosco and Oz were intrigued by the experience of eating a spicy orange.

For Fosco's first course, he went with the Sea Scallops with Carmelized Cauliflower and Caper-Raisin Emulsion.

Fosco is fond of sea scallops and he's never had them prepared better than at Jean Georges. The caper-raisin emulsion is pretty amazing (it's almost like a sweet mustard) and Fosco was unembarrassed to spoon the remnants into his mouth after the scallops were gone.

Oz had the Peekytoe Crab Dumplings with Celeriac-Meyer Lemon Tea.

The key to this meal was the exceptional "broth" or tea--you could taste all three flavors: celery, lemon, and tea. Flavored teas used as broth are a hallmark of Jean Georges cuisine. Last time Fosco ate here, he had an exceptional mushroom tea serving as a broth.

For Fosco's second course, he decided to be slightly adventurous and go with one of the Jean Georges signature dishes: Young Garlic Soup with Thyme and Sauteed Frog Legs. Unfortunately, Fosco and Oz forgot to take the picture until after Fosco had already eaten one of the frog legs--so imagine another frog leg and a less sloppy presentation...

Fosco had never eaten a frog leg (he has some issues with reptiles/amphibians as food), but he figured if he was ever going to eat one it should be one prepared at Jean Georges. He had heard that they taste like chicken which is kind of true, although they are unsurprisingly a little chewier than chicken. To fully enjoy this dish, one is encouraged by the waitstaff to use one's fingers to dip the frog leg in the soup before eating it! Honestly, the first frog leg was a little daunting to Fosco and he wasn't sure he liked it (he probably shouldn't have just popped the whole thing in his mouth--there are bones that Fosco didn't think about). But by the fourth one, Fosco was enjoying himself immensely and could have eaten several more. Of course, part of the brilliance of this dish is the young garlic soup. Young garlic is apparently much more mild than adult garlic and so the soup has a very soft and warm flavor to it. Also fun: you get a fingerbowl to wash your hands when you're done!

For his second course, Oz chose a traditional French classic: Turbot with Chateau Chalon Sauce. Once again, with this course, Fosco and Oz forgot to take a picture until after tasting. Please ignore Oz's first bite...

This course had a nice delicate flavor. The Chateau Chalon sauce is a wine reduction, but it's not overpowering. And the simple dice of cucumbers and tomatoes was surprisingly enjoyable.

For the third course, Fosco and Oz chose the same thing. It just didn't seem fair for one of us to get something other than the magnificent Black Sea Bass Crusted with Nuts and Seeds with Sweet and Sour Jus.

Fosco has had dreams about this dish. The nuts and seeds crust on the bass is so nutty and crisp. The sweet and sour jus is perfect, especially with the tomatoes and other market vegetables floating in it. Fosco is not usually a big fan of fish, but he could eat this dish every day (and twice on Sundays). It's almost a comfort food, but without insulting your culinary intelligence. It's probably the most perfect thing I've had at Jean Georges. It's one of those dishes that just makes you sigh and smile.

And now for dessert. At Jean Georges, dessert is actually like a second meal (as you'll see in a moment). The pastry chef is dessert savant and tattooed club kid Johnny Iuzzini and he has set himself some pretty rigorous constraints: each dessert selection comes with four separate preparations of the theme ingredient (Iuzzini unwisely calls it FourPlay). Once again, Fosco and Oz both wanted the same dessert and weren't willing to let the other order something less desirable. And so we each got the caramel option. Here were the four selections:

And this is what they looked like! (Start in the lower right corner and go counter-clockwise.)

Some thoughts on dessert. Fosco was very excited about the idea of "carmelized bacon," but it turned out to be an anticlimax. The carmelized bacon took the form of a very fine powder on top of the caramel tart. Maybe a slice would have been too much (but Fosco is still curious...). The roasted pineapple sorbet was maybe too sweet. The coffee-cardamom ice cream was exceptional. As for the vanilla soda, you drink it in one shot and puncture the caramel sphere with your tongue. Delish (and reminiscent of the tricks of Grant Achatz among others). In fact, let's take another look at that vanilla soda (along with the pastry chef's fingerprint?):

Yes, it was sweet. But certainly not your everyday soda experience.

Now when Fosco made the reservation, he had mentioned that we would be celebrating Oz's thirtieth birthday that night. He was kinda expecting a candle on Oz's dessert plate. What he was not expecting was a totally different additional dessert brought to the table free of charge! This is an apple and custard tart with candied peanuts and apple cider ice cream. Speaking of comfort food, this was amazing. And yes, that "Happy Birthday" banner is marzipan. Happy Birthday, indeed!

So at this point, Fosco and Oz had both eaten one and a half desserts (plus one marzipan banner, if that counts). But, like I said, dessert at Jean Georges is another whole meal. So of course it was time for the

• chocolates: brandy, hazelnut, orange, and peanut butter/jelly.
  
• fruit jellies: apricot and raspberry/beet (a favorite Iuzzini flavor combo).
  
• macaroons: chocolate, pomegranate, ginger.

Oh, and don't even think about forgetting the home-made marshmallows, hand cut at your table using scissors! The flavors of the night were banana, cranberry, and vanilla. It turns out that cranberry marshmallows are actually pretty damn good (although banana marshmallows are a little disconcerting, mainly because they taste exactly like bananas as opposed to the usual banana-flavoring).

And that, my friends, is a dinner at Jean Georges.

NYC Journal: The Met

The stories from Fosco and Oz's weekend in NYC continue. Read them all here.

After a long and chilly walk in Central Park (see this post), Fosco and Oz warmed up by bathing in five thousand years of culture at The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Oz had never been to the Met before and because the whole museum is impossible to see in a few hours (or perhaps even a few days), Fosco and Oz tried to hit the highlights while allowing time for perfectly random detours. The European Paintings gallery is Fosco's favorite place to start. There's always something random and beautiful for you to stumble across. Like this painting (for which we never actually recorded the relevant information):

Or this equally anonymous-to-us beauty:

I mean, just LOOK at that cape on Jesus. Gorgeous.

Also for pure random enjoyment, Fosco and Oz really got a kick out of Tiepolo, an artist that Fosco had never thought twice about. But look at this:

Isn't it absolutely bonkers?

Another artist that Fosco never really considered is El Greco. But for some reason, he really stood out for both Fosco and Oz. There were two canvasses in particular that were absolutely luminous. This is The Opening of the Fifth Seal (The Vision of Saint John):

Whereas Oz's favorite was The Adoration of the Shepherds (ca. 1610):

The Met's collection of French painting has some truly exceptional works, especially Jacques-Louis David's Death of Socrates:

Fosco has always found this painting by Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun to be absolutely ravishing:

And then there is this absolutely monumental painting by Jules Bastien-Lepage of Jeanne d'Arc. The expression on her face is exquisite as she listens to the voices of the ghostly saints who appear on the left of the canvas. Fosco looks at a reproduction of this painting over his desk everyday.

Finally, there is the absolutely extraordinary Duccio Madonna and Child (the Met's most expensive acquisition ever). In person, the piece is small and seemingly unprepossessing. And yet, the longer you spend looking at it, the more interesting it gets. I would recommend that someday you do yourself a favor and spend thirty minutes just staring at it. It will repay you.


And, of course, we had to make a quick detour to see the Van Gogh Irises, one of the most refreshingly beautiful paintings in the whole Met.



Of course, no visit to the Met would be complete without a visit to the Egyptian wing and the Temple of Dendur, housed in a dramatic space with a glass-walled view of Central Park. The temple complex is protected by prehistoric cats:

A money-hungry crocodile demands tribute:

Fosco spent several minutes decrying the US cultural arrogance that removed an entire temple from Egypt for display in New York. That is, until he read the part about how Egypt intended to submerge the temple forever under the lake created by the Aswan High Dam. Is it possible that sometimes protecting artistic treasures means removing them from their place of origin? Eek. Careful, Fosco. That way lies imperialism!

Do you dare enter the inner sanctum?

Look! Nineteenth-century graffiti! Kids in those days were just so disrespectful.

At this point, Fosco and Oz were just about exhausted. And they needed to change clothes for their dinner at Jean Georges (coming up in the next installment)!

NYC Journal: burger joint

After a week's holiday hiatus, Fosco returns to the narrative of the pre-Christmas trip that he took to New York City with his boyfriend Oz. You can read the previous installments of Fosco's NYC Journal here.

After a pan-Asian hipster dinner at Buddakan on Friday night, Fosco and Oz were looking for something a little more relaxed for Saturday lunch. They settled on burgers. As the weather was cold and snowy, the outdoor eating arrangements of Danny Meyer's Shake Shack didn't seem like the best idea (although Fosco will endure a severe amount of pain for frozen custard). Instead, Fosco and Oz opted for the faux dive: burger joint at Le Parker Meridien.

Le Parker Meridien is a lovely upscale hotel just south of Central Park (with an understated entrance reminiscent of a subway tunnel). burger joint is the purposefully incongruous eatery hidden off the hotel's sumptuous lobby. Seriously. The entire "restaurant" is hidden behind floor-to-ceiling velvet curtains, with a rope line to keep the burger-seekers orderly:

Of course, this pretense at shame is all good fun as there is no doubt that Le Parker Meridien is profiting handsomely from this little chunk of greasiness in their lobby.

You can tell you've come the right place when you start down the darkened hallway and see the only sign that advertises burger joint's existence. You also pass a high-powered air purifier set into the wall to prevent the delicious burgery smell from ruining the rare air of Le Meridien's lobby. (N.B., those are Germans ahead of us in line.)

When you've finally waited long enough to make it in the door, keep your expectations low. burger joint is literally a room--and a room not much larger than Fosco's apartment in Santa Cruz. There is 1970s rec room paneling. There are no windows. There are television and movie posters. And (a very few) diner tables.

There's a counter where a woman listens to your order while ignoring you completely (and yet, she gets it right!).

Once you've ordered (N.B., your choices are limited: burger, cheeseburger, fries, shakes), the game begins: you must outsmart thirty other people to claim a small table. Luckily, many of your competitors are Japanese or European tourists and consequently cannot match your American level of pushiness. The trick is to choose a table where the people look like they're almost finished eating and then lurk until you can swoop into the seat. Unfortunately, you will spend most of your meal being stared at by the next wave of table-seekers.

While you're waiting for your order, you can read the panoply of celebrity testimonials and autographs that adorn the walls. Fosco's favorite was Mitt Romney's:

In case you can't quite read it, it says "Big Burger Fan, Thanks! Mitt Romney 9-17-07." Sadly, this historical document is somewhat obscured (purposely?) by the autograph of Chazz Palminteri, who is neither a presidential candidate nor a Mormon.

And the food? Well, Fosco's vanilla shake was pretty incredible. And the shoestring fries were first-class. The burgers were fine, although nothing to blog about. Good, but not great.

The problem with burger joint, Fosco and Oz have decided, is the inevitable comparison (for West Coast residents) with In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out is just better. In NYC, in the absence of In-N-Out, burger joint must seem like heaven; but to anyone who can eat In-N-Out on a regular basis, the comparison does not work out in burger joint's favor. It's like a Memphis native eating barbecue in Minneapolis--the Minneapolis barbecue may be perfectly well-executed, but it's not going to compare to Memphis barbecue.

That said, the atmosphere at burger joint was a hoot. And the whole experience makes for a decent story. So, on the whole, Fosco and Oz are glad to have eaten there. But if you're an NYC resident dying for a great burger, might I suggest Virgin America's flights from JFK to LAX?

NYC Journal: Central Park

Fosco and Oz were a little worried that it would be too cold to talk a long walk in Central Park. Luckily, it wasn't (although it wasn't warm). Every time Fosco visits Central Park, he marvels again: the contribution that Central Park makes to livability in Manhattan is hard to overestimate. If only every mega-city had a park like this. I mean, look at it!


The doubled towers of the Time Warner Center look pretty good:


The Plaza Hotel is one of the most beautiful buildings in this country:


Make way for ducks! If you think they're cold, look again. Those are the fattest ducks I've ever seen.


This one's our favorite. No swimming for him--he's no sucker!


The reason Fosco most wanted to walk through Central Park is that Oz (born and raised in the Sandwich Islands) has never played in the snow. So Fosco wanted to watch Oz play in the snow. Fosco thought it would be cute and he was right. Want to see how cute?



Awww. Fosco melts every time!

More NYC stories/pix to come.