Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The End of Summer: Picturebox Edition

Tomorrow is the first day of classes at the U (stupid quarter system, grrr...). So, for Fosco, today is the last day of summer (never mind that he's been reading phenomenology for an upcoming seminar for two days now). Ahhh, and what a summer it's been. It began, like all summers do, with good intentions, high expectations, and a large stack of must-read books. It ends, like all summers do, with regrets, recriminations, and dread. And so it goes...

What did Fosco actually do this summer?

Well, for one thing, he watched way too much television. A few of the shows were good, like House. One has to love Hugh Laurie, even if one hates most of the rest of the cast (especially the girl doctor and her Australian boyfriend). And despite the fact that every episode seems to end with a musical interlude in which all of the characters look pensive as they process the lessons they've learned, there are always a few laugh-out-loud lines. (N.B.: last night's season premiere was really well-written, even working in a knowing wink to lupus-loving fans of the show.) Also generally good: Monk (loved the Snoop Dogg guest appearance this summer), Psych (wacky and occasionally charming), and My Life on the D-List (Suck it, Jesus).

Some shows were occasionally worthwhile (but probably not worth watching during the school year): The Closer (intermittently funny, but why is Kyra Sedgwick's character so whiny?) and Bones (partially satisfies my post-Angel yearning for the smart-ass David Boreanaz, but why is the forensic anthropologist so annoying?).

Shows that I'm ashamed to have watched too much of this summer (please don't judge me): 30 Rock, Frasier and, worst of all, Everybody Loves Raymond. I'm not proud of any of this.

Show that I loved for two months and now loathe: Gilmore Girls. It's so weird, but after I watched almost all the episodes in a flurry this summer, I now can't stand this show. I even cried at the finale! But now I would rather go to the dentist than see an episode. Boy, is my TiVo confused...

And finally, you may be asking yourself: how did Fosco miss seeing the unanimous critical winner of the summer, Mad Men? I don't know. It looked a lot like Far From Heaven and I'd already seen that. I guess that's not much of an excuse.

I'm not sure what this is...

...but I love it.

Thanks, Todd, for this bizarre LOLtheorist pic (or whatever it is...):

Good luck falling asleep tonight, folks.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Bizarre Quote of the Week

The more I think about this quote, the less sense it makes to me. From the profile of director Michael Haneke in Sunday's (9/23) NYTimes Magazine:

The experience of watching "Funny Games" is not unlike watching snuff-porn clips late at night in your bedroom, only to have your mother or Jacques Lacan switch the light on periodically without the slightest warning.

What the hell is this sentence supposed to mean? First of all, how many readers of this sentence know what it's like to watch "snuff porn"? Is this sentence intended to be read by a Bret Easton Ellis character? Second, what does my mom have in common with Jacques Lacan? Would I really react the same if Lacan came into my bedroom as I would if my mom did? Huh?

And, now that we've parsed this sentence, do you have any idea about what feeling is being described here? I sure don't.

Plus: the "not unlike" construction is so obnoxious. You know what "not unlike" is? It's "like."

LOLtheorists: More, More, More!

I don't care about the threats of Mere (bring it on, Mere!): LOLtheorists will continue for the foreseeable future!

Todd has created some doozies this week. Here are three more from his fertile mind...

Here's Bertrand Russell:

I once had a boyfriend who told me that he'd never heard a convincing refutation of Ayn Rand's philosophy. Guess how long that relationship lasted (not long). So how much fun is this Ayn Rand picture?

And I've saved the best for last... I give you: Noam Chomsky.

It's filthy. It's funny. I LOVE it.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Two Truths and a Lie: So Much Wrong

Two horrible truths about capitalism, plus a lie from Monday's craziest man.

  • According to today's Santa Cruz Sentinel, the SC housing market is going soft. The median home price is slipping a little. But wait, working people, don't get too excited. Home ownership is not yet in your future. That's because the median home price in Santa Cruz County is... wait for it... $770,000. Am I the only one who finds this repugnant?

  • My favorite article in the news today: a profile of George H.W. Bush's pool boy at His name is James Razsa, he gets paid $9 an hour, and he hates the people he works for. I think I love him.
    "If every American had to pool-boy for these people for a day, you'd have a revolution on your hands."
    That basically sums up lesson #1 of what Fosco wants to teach his students every quarter.

    My favorite James Razsa quote: "I look at the biggest middle finger in the world all day." This guy should have a commentary segment on YouTube.

  • I don't know if you heard... but the President of Iran or someone gave some sort of speech in NYC today. Mahmoud "Bruce" Ahmadinejad is insane, anti-Semitic, and misogynist. I bet he would really hate homosexuals. Luckily, he doesn't have to deal with any:
    "In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We don’t have that in our country.”

    The audience booed and hissed loudly. Some laughed, uncomfortably.

    “In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon,” Mr. Ahmadinejad continued, undeterred. “I do not know who has told you that we have it."
    No gays in Iran? How is that possible? Oh, I see now.

Theater Review Roundup

From today's San Jose Mercury News:

I can already see tomorrow's film review headline:
"The Sorrow and the Pity: Collaborators evil yet stylish."

It's like LOLtheorists, but with boobies.

Recent Discovery: You can give the LOL treatment to anything, even dirtee pitchurz (NSFW, from Fleshbot).

Sunday, September 23, 2007

America's Most Panoptic Cities

Fosco mostly ignored that whole controversy over Google's Street View feature. But, you know what? Even though it's a little creepy, Street View is fun! San Francisco is almost totally covered by the feature, which allows you to enjoy sights like three homosexuals conversing outside of hip Castro pet supplies emporium Best in Show. In five years, we won't remember how we lived without it.

There are other, better Street View discoveries, which you can find here.

If you prefer your all-seeing eye to be in real-time (and backed up by the power of THE LAW), then Chicago is your city. There are live crime cams in Chicago, and the po-po are watching. Feel safe? But be warned, because public alcohol consumption is a serious offense in Chi-Town. From the SF Chronicle:

Earl Gardner lounged on the street near his home just west of downtown Chicago, a 24-ounce can of Crazy Stallion beer in his hand.

A mile away, police Officer Al Garbauski slid a computer mouse to maneuver a camera that was perched a block from Gardner. Zooming in tight, Garbauski saw malt liquor meet mouth and sent an officer to arrest Gardner for drinking in public.

And the best part? The existence of a malt liquor called Crazy Stallion. The second best part? the Crazy Stallion Bottle looks like Arizona Ice Tea. The bad part? The police are watching us.

Welcome to the urban panopticon.

If you hate LOLtheorists...

...this is not your lucky weekend.

Here's a new submission from Todd. I was wondering when someone would get to Freud.

As Todd notes: "wow, this is way more fun than it should be." I could not agree more.

Here's another one from Fosco, who is a big fan of Roland Barthes.

Giggle. He totally should have been a French film star.