Fun with Juxtaposed Pictures

From today's Huffington Post:



From the Chicago Tribune:

Queer Crucifixion

"Music Monday" was always sorta queer, don't you think?

Today we have the second installment in Fosco's series of "The Queerest Music Videos Ever!" Today's video is from those ultraqueer Swedes, Army of Lovers. This is "Crucified"--a song which is, I suppose, slightly blasphemous--especially if you don't have a sense of humor. If you watched a lot of MTV in the 90s, you may recognize this video from an episode of "Beavis and Butthead." Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), I think this video is funnier without their commentary.



I've still never watched this video without laughing out loud at least once. Usually, it's the Elvis bit, but sometimes it's also when the dark-haired guy raises his eyebrow so provocatively. I don't know about you, but I can't help but appreciate a video where everyone seems to be having so much fun!

And good luck getting this song out of your head today.

YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Okay, instead of hiding in my bed as promised, I opened Photoshop and had fun with the whole "communication blackout" thing. Because there is nothing more fun than homemade "CSI: Miami" comics.

This is how you turn fear into empowerment!

Birthday Panda for Jeremy

As Fosco mentioned, today is the birthday of his college roommate Jeremy. Of course, in Hong Kong, Jeremy's birthday was already yesterday. Or tomorrow. I can't quite tell.

At any rate, as a web-based gift, Fosco would like to offer this song by Deerhoof:



Warning: those who hate pandas will not appreciate this song.

"Panda panda panda panda pan. China!"

My Favorite April Fool

Happy Birthday to Fosco's college roommate, Jeremy! Come home from Hong Kong soon--Miss Tabby misses you.

If you don't know where Fosco got this cake, you're missing out.

Eraserhead 2: The Geithnering

Following a suggestion from his old friend Keith, Fosco offers for your consideration: Jack Nance in David Lynch's Eraserhead and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.


Spooky, huh? I'd make a joke about something from the plot of Eraserhead, but

1. I have little confidence that many of my readers have seen it.
   
2. I don't really remember much about it myself.

To the best of my recollection, I think there was some dancing involved. And some horrible worm creatures. Actually, the film is probably not too much different from recent meetings at the Treasury.

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Parapraxis or Sheer Stupidity?: You Be the Judge!

Fosco understands that people--including public figures--regularly misspeak. And I certainly don't want to ascribe deep meaning to every slip of the tongue (sorry, Uncle Freud). But sometimes, you just can't avoid the sneaking suspicion that the mis-speaker has unintentionally revealed something true.

From this article in the HuffPo, describing GW Bush's plans for his (not yet contracted) book:

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said. [italics mine]

As a description of Bush's eventual book, I suspect this will be one hundred percent accurate. In fact, I think George just wrote the tagline for the jacket!

"Hello, Chieftains!"

The inaptly-named "Muesic Tuesday" continues...

As Fosco mentioned earlier, today is apparently some sort of Irish-themed holiday. Consequently, there should be some mention of Irish music today. Unfortunately, Fosco loathes any kind of traditional Irish music. Not to mention his recent feelings about U2.

Luckily, there is one Irish folk song that Fosco can stand. It's this duet between Brak and The Chieftains. There is much to love in this clip (and Fosco laughs out loud every time he watches it), but the best part may be the way Brak says "Chieftains."

Now that is inspired zaniness. Happy Saint Patrick's Day from Brak, The Chieftains, and Fosco!

Irish Accents

It has come to Fosco's attention that today is Saint Patrick's Day. If you want to giggle for a couple of minutes, please enjoy the holiday greeting at the top of the righthand column. It's a tribute to the irrepressible Irish accent by Fosco's own college roommate David Lat, filmed this past weekend at the San Francisco St. Pat parade.

Coming Soon: Soleil Moon Frye's Philosophical Ontology

Fosco is completely exhausted and maybe a little ill after a weekend of working hard and playing hard. Because he has no energy today (and still some work to finish), he's going to postpone "Music Monday" until tomorrow--at which point it will become "Muesic Tuesday" or something like that.

For your Fosco Lives! pleasure today, I can offer you this brief anecdote. Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, Fosco decided that he needed a specific academic book immediately for his paper-in-progress. The book is Basic Philosophical Writings by Emmanuel Levinas. The cover looks like this:

Because Fosco was in Daly City at Oz's place, the UCSC library was not a good option. Fosco decided that the most likely bookstore on the entire SF Peninsula to carry this book would be the Stanford bookstore in Palo Alto. Fosco called and reserved the book at said Stanford bookstore (they had it in stock!) and stopped by Palo Alto on the way to visit a friend in Santa Clara. I won't go into details about the difficulty of locating the Stanford bookstore (just know that it was hard).

Once inside the bookstore, Fosco went to retrieve the book from the Information Desk. That's where he had the following conversation:

FOSCO: You're holding a book for me?
MIDDLE-AGED LADY EMPLOYEE: What's your name?
FOSCO: [gives his name]
EMPLOYEE: [fetches book from shelf, glances at the cover.] Emmanuel Lewis?
FOSCO: [assuming that she's making a (pretty clever) joke] Something like that.
EMPLOYEE: [looks at cover again] Oh! Emmanuel Levinas! I read it wrong.
FOSCO: That's okay, I think that's funny. [starts to walk away]
EMPLOYEE: [calling out after Fosco] "Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?"

I think there are numerous lessons that we can learn from this interaction:

1. A book's cover design is key--splitting the author's name into two separate fonts that point in two separate directions is a recipe for disaster.
   
2. People tend to confuse Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman (or, even worse, tend to assimilate Lewis completely to Coleman).
   
3. TV's "Webster" lacked the necessary sassy catchphrase that would have made the show memorable twenty years later.

I can already imagine the LOLtheorists pix that some of Fosco's loyal readers will submit... Todd?

When the Go-Gos Ruled the World

Some more recent news from around the world: as reported by the BBC, the military coup in Fiji will not be holding elections.

This is a very depressing story, of course; however, Fosco can't really get past the fact that the coup leader's name is essentially Bananarama. Yes, that's right: Fiji is being ruled by Commodore Frank Bananarama. It's almost like we're living in a Pynchon novel. Also, I would recommend that the elected government of Singapore keep an eye on General Wilson Phillips. Just saying.

As for Fiji's future, I heard a rumour that this will be a cruel summer. However, several international celebrities have already spoken out in opposition to the coup, including Venus Williams. Additional celebrity support is imminent, although I've heard that Robert De Niro's Waiting.

Hey, if you ever wondered how the lyrics to "Venus" would be subtitled in Portuguese, well, you're in luck:



Por favor, divirta-se!

LOLtheorists Returns!

Sunday night (well, actually Monday morning), Fosco took this late-night study break while reading French philosopher Jean-Luc Nancy. See, the joke is that J-L Nancy's surname is easy to confuse (in English) with the dwarven heroine Nancy in the eponymous comic strip. After all, Fosco is using a lot of J-L Nancy in his academic work; and at the same time, the classic comic strip "Nancy" is always worth a read:

Both Nancys are good reads, although whether "Nancy" or J-L Nancy is more incomprehensible is an open question (especially considering the above strip).

Well, it seems that all of this "fun with Nancy" inspired the inimitable Todd to perform a resurrection of Fosco's once-popular feature, LOLtheorists. Here is Todd's laugh-out-loud depiction of Jean-Luc Nancy as an LOLtheorist:

Well done, Todd. I love it.

If you care to read Jean-Luc Nancy, there are two of his works that are aimed at the general reader and that offer reasonably accessible descriptions of Nancy's project of "The Deconstruction of Christianity." You could purchase them here:

Late Night Study Break!

Fosco is up late tonight (although it's now "this morning") trying to make some sense of a very difficult Nancy text. No, not this one:

You done got told, Betch!

You Believe in How Many Gods?

Isn't "Spring Forward" Day strange? I mean, it's not like I was planning to do work for exactly twenty-four hours today; and yet, I feel like the loss of an hour has completely thrown my writing and reading plans into disarray. Not to mention that I normally spend way more than one hour a day doing absolutely nothing productive (often just stroking my goatee--and no, that is not a euphemism). So how is that losing this hour today has been so disruptive?

But if you're like me, you could probably use some cheering up as you plow into your (strangely daylit) evening hours. And so, Fosco offers you this picture, published earlier in the week at the HuffPo:

You may recall that Fosco is no fan of the air heir to the throne, mainly because he's dimwitted and cranky (Charles, that is, not Fosco). But Charles certainly isn't cranky here, is he? One wonders what that small Anglo-Indian girl could have said to make the Prince point and laugh like that. Of course, chances are he's not laughing with her. Isn't cultural difference funny?

From the Annals of "Say It With Pictures!"

From the current online front page at SFGate (the web version of the venereal venerable San Francisco Chronicle), an article about a new proposal for SF rent control:


I'm not really interested in the story (except that more rent control in SF is probably a good idea); rather, I'm laughing at the Chronicle's not-so-subtle photographic editorializing on the story. I mean, how seriously are we meant to take Supervisor Daly when he's being molested by a rainbow clown? Or is it a renegade Oompa Loompa?

Seriously: they couldn't find a better photo of this guy?

Acting Baby!

In the last few weeks, Fosco has discovered that busy work (cleaning, filing, folding laundry, etc.) can be made less monotonous with "CSI: Miami" on in the background. Actively viewing this show would no doubt lead one to need an intellectual shower; however, passive background viewing allows one to enjoy a reasonable approximation of epistemological satisfaction without having to worry about the cardboard characters, improbable plots, and dreadful dialogue. Also, you rarely need to watch the screen. And you can leave for 5-10 minutes without missing anything very important.

For sheer ridiculousness, the best part of the show is David Caruso. I mentioned this to Todd the other day, and in his web-trawling he came across this remarkably accurate flow chart to represent David Caruso's acting "method":

Fosco watched an episode last night with this diagram in mind; let me assure you that there is no exaggeration.

More Jindalicious Lies

Last week, Louisiana Governero Bobby Jindal provided the Republican response to President Obama's address to Congress. Despite his status as a Republican "rising star," Jindal's performance was roundly panned as stale, inauthentic, and nihilistic. Oh, and he may have reminded many Americans of a likable yet dimwitted television character. Mission accomplished, Bobby!

But wait, it gets worse. Yesterday, a spokesperson for Jindal admitted that the governor completely fabricated the central anecdote of his speech: a story about his heroic anti-bureaucratic actions during Hurricane Katrina. Oops! Jindal had used the story to make a point about how government often stands in the way of the solutions to problems (solutions like, you know, saving people from rising flood waters). Maybe so, but do you know what probably does even less than government to save people from rising floodwaters? Fictional heroism! Heckuva job, Bobby!

All of which raises an important question for Fosco: what else has Bobby Jindal been lying to us about? With a little digging, Fosco has managed to compile a list:

• Real first name is not Bobby.
  
• Actually not the Governor of Louisiana, but the Lieutenant Governor.
  
• Wife was not "Miss Teen Louisiana"; rather, was "Mr. Teen Louisiana."
  
• Claimed to prefer Hosea's gumbo, but actually preferred Stefan's gumbo.
  
• Criticized the stimulus bill for containing a MagLev train between Disneyland and Las Vegas. Train is not mentioned in bill and is only one of many potential projects that may request high-speed rail funding.
  
• Is the biological father of Sarah Palin's baby.
  
• Did not actually give his speech from Louisiana's Governor's Mansion, but in front of a green screen in Tom Selleck's poolhouse.
  
• Has never managed the Jonas Brothers.
  
• Pretended to be terminally ill so as to get a visit from Joe Namath.
  
• Is actually wearing his father's suit.
  
• Cannot watch The Muppets Take Manhattan without sobbing uncontrollably.
  
• Secretly doubts whether all women who have abortions are godless whores.
  
• Real middle name: Hussein.

Whether or not these lies are sufficient to disqualify him from seeking higher office (like, say, the Presidency) remains to be seen. But let's just say that Sarah Palin is sleeping a lot more soundly this weekend...

[Commenters: Did I miss anything?]

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From the Annals of Strange and Terrifying

The Grand JennyT sent this along. It's the kind of toy that would change your life--if it really existed.

B'Owl!!!

And it's a perfect gift for Pep-Pep and Nanna!

Smells Like Peen Spirit

In a post two days ago, Fosco reported on the trend of calling Republican governors "governeros" (to appeal to the cowboy aesthetic of what remains of their party). In that post's title, Fosco referred to a Simpson's song about an SUV that claims it "smells like a steak." Well, it now occurs to Fosco to wonder what Republican governeros actually do smell like (and is it steak? No, it is not.).

Fosco has pondered this question and he has some theories. So, let's play the game: "What Does Your Republican Governor Smell Like?" Here are a few suggestions:

• Arnold Schwarzenegger (CA): coconut oil
  
• Sarah Palin (AK): mooseburgers and Britney Spears believe
  
• "Myman" Mitch Daniels (IN): urine
  
• Rick Perry (TX): Newport Lights
  
• Mark Sanford (SC): green apple Jolly Ranchers
  
• Tim Pawlenty (MN): talcum powder
  
• Linda Lingle (HI): poi
  
• Charlie Crist (FL): Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male

N.B.: there is no way that Fosco is going to propose a smell for Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal--there is just too much potential for unintentional racial issues.

But what about other Republican governeros? Any scents?

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Let's Do the Hand Job Jive!

You've probably already seen this in some incarnation, but I have to pass it on anyway. I first saw it yesterday, courtesy of my old friend Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo.



Of course, the first thing you think when you watch it is that it's funny and cute. Then, after about fifteen seconds, you realize that it's going to go on for another two and a half minutes. Maybe you become slightly alarmed. Then you begin to feel impressed with the amount of practice that must have gone into it. After a while, you begin to think about the evolution of the routine: did they add one move a day? How long did it take them? And finally, if you're like me, you find yourself a bit wistful--wishing you had a coworker that you felt this much camaraderie with.

However, I do think the exemplarity of this scene implied by its YouTube title is probably overstated. I'm pretty sure that, during commercials, my local news anchors just hiss at each other like lizards.