Keeps Your Brains Warm?

Sure, most people in San Francisco are now broke or laid off (although things are still better here than in NYC); even so, this city still knows how to have fun.

A few days ago, Fosco erroneously reported that San Francisco had succumbed to a zombie attack and was no longer inhabited by the non-undead. Apparently, Fosco was misled by a performance of the San Francisco Zombie Swarm. Apparently, the Swarm organizes occasional zombie happenings, flashmob-style.

Why are zombies the flavor of the moment? Well, my colleague Ethan has recently written some theoretical reflections on the re-rise of the zombie in popular culture. See, theory can be fun!


But there is even more fun to be had in San Francisco, especially if you like to keep yourself warm. As this article on SFGate notes, Friday night was the first organized Snuggie pub crawl in SF. For those of you who don't watch television, the Snuggie is "The Blanket with Sleeves."^TM Apparently, Snuggies (like zombies) have captured the imagination of young urban hipsters (who may also be cold). Actually, to be accurate, Snuggies seem to have caught everyone's attention, as the article notes:

Buoyed by an inadvertently funny and rhyming commercial ("Blankets are OK, but they can slip and slide/ and when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside"), Snuggies have sold more than 4 million units through online orders and Walgreens drugstores, where they go for a mere $14.99. (Blue is the only Snuggie color sold at Walgreens; online, red and green Snuggies are also available.)

The article reports that more than 200 people showed up in Snuggies for this pub crawl, which is pretty amazing when you think about.

Of course, the obvious question is whether these two trends, the Snuggie and zombies, can be combined. As Fosco discovered, it's not pretty. Here, as fodder for your nightmares, is a Snuggie Zombie:

[Shudder.] Stay safe and warm out there, my friends.

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Breaking (My Heart) News

Very busy tonight and for the next few days with my (never-ending) Levinas paper. But had to break these two stories for you:

1. Remember that English thirteen-year-old who got his girlfriend preggers? The kid who looked like he was ten? The story that was so sordid that Fosco had to write about it not just once but twice?

Well, the DNA test is back and poor little Alfie is NOT the father! While that is certainly good news for little Alfie (whether he sees it that way or not), I'm not sure the story gets any less sad by this revelation. For one thing, the question of the father of Chantelle's baby, is going to get a lot more complicated. Incredibly, other reports note that

six other local boys came forward soon after the baby’s birth and said that they had also had sex with her and could be Maisie’s daddy.

Let's remember: Chantelle is 15. Jesus H. Christ.

And even if Alfie hasn't been saddled for life with a bouncing baby mistake, he seems unlikely to have a sparkling future ahead of him:

Before he took the test, he said: "I didn't know about DNA tests before but mum explained it's when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells if you're the dad. So if I have it, they can all shut up."

Sigh. Bright kid.

(However, as of this writing, the original story has disappeared from the website of the British tabloid The Mirror. Are they backing off on this story?)

2. Fosco's beloved city of San Francisco appears to be under attack by a zombie swarm. Still no word about affected areas of the city, but Fosco thinks it reasonable to assume that most of San Francisco is now uninhabitable by anything but undead.

This is the most tragic death of a great American city since GW Bush bombed the levies in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

Lunch with David

"Foodie Friday" is the name of the game today.

Last weekend, Fosco's well-connected and entertaining college roommate David was in town for a brief spring vacation. David and I were able to have a lazy lunch on Friday at San Francisco culinary fixture, The Slanted Door. As you may recall, Fosco is a fan of Charles Phan's local/organic Vietnamese; however, dining at the flagship (as opposed to one of the much cheaper Out the Door takeout spots) is a treat that Fosco generally reserves for special occasions (like his birthday last year, when Oz took him to Slanted Door for dinner).

Slanted Door is an excellent place to take an out-of-town guest. The dining room (as seen above) may be understated and casual, but the real attraction is the floor-to-ceiling views of SF Bay, the Bay Bridge, and Yerba Buena Island (view at right). There is probably no better restaurant view in the city, especially on a sunny day. Add an appealingly casual waitstaff (t-shirted with many tats and pierces), and you have a laid back atmosphere where you can pay attention to the important things in life: visual and gustatory pleasure.

At midday, neither David nor Fosco felt like a cocktail. However, David was intrigued by the appearance of the adjective "biodynamic" attached to the (non-alcoholic) Elderflower spritzer on the beverage menu. Our waiter was only too happy to explain that "biodynamic" refers to a specific organic agricultural method developed in the nineteenth century by Rudolf Steiner. As the waiter explained, it involves treating the farm like a completely closed system. Or something like that. The waiter also noted that "biodynamic" has "metaphysical and astrological connotations," but (thankfully) he declined to elaborate. An organic spritzer with astrological/metaphysical properties? Welcome to San Francisco, David! Actually, both David and I ordered the Elderflower spritzer and it was quite enjoyable (I tasted citrus, David tasted lychee).

Ever since Fosco's birthday dinner with Oz last summer, Fosco has been obsessed with Slanted Door's yellowtail sashimi. It is absolutely exquisite. It comes topped with crispy shallots (like high-end french-fried onions) and Thai basil. I can say without exaggeration that it is a true metaphysical and astrological experience. So of course David and I ordered it. Isn't it gorgeous?

I could eat it once a day. At least.

Slanted Door is family-style and the rest of our meal was a bricolage of yummy Vietnamese specialties, including

• honey-hoisin pork shortribs (accompanied by extremely hot towels for washing your fingers after)
  
• Fosco's favorite green papaya salad (which he's discussed before)
  
• the shaking beef--made with tender filet mignon
  
• sadly, some very forgettable noodles--why aren't the noodles at Slanted Door better?

Other than the shaking beef, Fosco thinks the best strategy at Slanted Door is, as recommended by No Salad As A Meal, an entire meal of appetizers. Damn, those honey-hoisin ribs were good.

Because it was a special occasion, desserts were ordered. We had beignets with a cinnamon sabayon (are doughnuts ever bad?) and the intriguing "black cardamom tapioca, kumquat geleé, black cardamom pudding and tapioca." Fosco is a big fan of cardamom (even for dessert) and this pudding did not disappoint. It was surprisingly elegant, actually.

After lunch, because Slanted Door is in the gourmet mecca of the Ferry Building (seen above), Fosco and David dropped by Michael Recchiuti for some boutique chocolates. Fosco's loves Recchiuti's rose caramels and bergamot chocolates. Mmmmmmm...

As we left the Ferry Building, the lunchtime line for high-end burger palace Taylor's Automatic Refresher was getting a bit out of hand:

Alas, we had no room for garlic fries.

[Several of these photos (guess which?) were taken by David himself.]

Tops and Bottoms

Don't be dirty-minded... we're talking rankings, not sexual role preferences.

You may recall that Fosco loves rankings (especially of cities). And because Fosco is not alone, the media has realized that rankings always make popular news stories.

So what's new in the world of rankings? Well, there's a bunch of Bay Area-related news to share.

First, the good news: California's 14th Congressional District is the happiest in the nation. This district covers most of the Peninsula south of San Francisco and stops just north of Santa Cruz. Because Fosco lives in Santa Cruz and Oz lives in Daly City, Fosco ends up driving the length of the 14th District several times a month. He must admit that everyone in it sure looks pretty happy--and rich.

Speaking of rich, the district contains most of Silicon Valley, including Google, Apple and Mmm Carpets. However, as this article in the Santa Cruz Sentinel notes:

While higher income and greater opportunity associated with these districts didn't hurt their standing, Amy Neftzger, the lead researcher with Gallup's partner Healthways, said money didn't necessarily translate into happiness. Work, she cautioned, took a toll on physical and emotional health in many parts of the country.

Any guesses as to the least happy congressional district? No, not Indiana's 2nd, but close. It's the bleak Kentucky 5th, on the border with Virginia and West Virginia (median income $21,915).

But not all is pleasant in the Bay Area. As this piece on SFGate notes, San Francisco is one of the ten WORST cities to be unemployed in.

Forbes has compiled a list of the 10 best and 10 worst U.S. cities when it comes to stretching unemployment dollars -- calculated based on benefits versus the cost-of-living. Sadly, San Francisco is the fourth worst city to be on unemployment, better only than New York, Miami and Phoenix.

Phoenix? It turns out the problem there is stingy unemployment benefits (imagine that!). This is how it was all calculated:

In San Francisco, the maximum unemployment benefit is $450 a week, and the cost of living is $113,576 a year. That means the benefits only cover 20.6 percent of the cost-of-living, making getting by on the checks in San Francisco a pretty bleak prospect.

Sigh. And lest you think that the top of list is populated by cities that you would prefer not to live in (employed or unemployed), you should know that both Boston and Seattle somehow made the Top 10.

Let's wrap things up with some college rankings. According to this piece in the Sentinel, surfline.com has named UC Santa Cruz the second best campus for surfing in the nation. The top? UC San Diego. No surprise there, really. The worst surf campuses weren't ranked, but I'm pretty sure the University of Oklahoma is near the bottom.

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Sweet, sweet honey

Posting will be a little light for the next few days, as Fosco deals with a confluence of work (paper draft due) and play (a visit from David!). Even so, today remains "Foodie Friday."

Good news for New York City Filipinos: Jollibee is in town! Buzz, buzz!

For all you white readers, Jollibee is a Filipino fast-food chain, occasionally described as the "Filipino McDonalds." Fosco has been told that Jollibee franchises are on almost every corner in Manila. There are also a number of locations in California. And now, finally, there is one in Queens, as reviewed by the New York Times.

Two summers ago, a branch opened in San Francisco and Fosco and Oz went to try it. Full disclosure: Oz is Filipino, Fosco is white--neither of us had tried Jollibee before.

The Jollibee menu is a bit odd (and not exactly "familiar to anyone who’s passed under the golden arches" as the Times review claims). There are basically four main types of food you can get at Jollibee:

• burgers (called "Yumburgers")
  
• fried chicken (called "ChickenJoy")
  
• hot dog spaghetti in a sweet sauce (called "Spaghetti")
  
• palabok, intriguingly called "Palabok Fiesta."

You can see a sample of the San Francisco menu below:

When Fosco and Oz went, the place was pretty crowded: Fosco had never seen so many Filipinos in San Francisco (apparently they all hang out at Jollibee). Because Oz is completely uninterested in Filipino food, he ordered a burger. Because Fosco is a well-meaning white man who wants to experience authentic cultural difference, he ordered the Palabok Fiesta. When we sat down, Fosco noticed that the only other white person in the restaurant was also eating the Palabok; all of the Filipinos were eating the ChickenJoy, natch.

And how was the food? Well, the burgers were bad. The Palabok was fine, but nothing I would rush to order again. Here's what it looked like:

Months later, Oz's Aunt M explained to us that the only good thing on the menu is the ChickenJoy. We should have known.

In conclusion, probably the best thing about Jollibee is its mascot. But look out, the mascots have been known to swarm!

Save me, BeeMaster!

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From the Annals of "Say It With Pictures!"

From the current online front page at SFGate (the web version of the venereal venerable San Francisco Chronicle), an article about a new proposal for SF rent control:


I'm not really interested in the story (except that more rent control in SF is probably a good idea); rather, I'm laughing at the Chronicle's not-so-subtle photographic editorializing on the story. I mean, how seriously are we meant to take Supervisor Daly when he's being molested by a rainbow clown? Or is it a renegade Oompa Loompa?

Seriously: they couldn't find a better photo of this guy?

Would You Take a Job at UCSC?

Fosco has to get up early tomorrow morning to make it to campus for a one-time seminar with a seriously important academic superstar. Said academic superstar is visiting UCSC tomorrow for a job interview in the History of Consciousness department and will be leading a seminar in the morning and giving a job talk in the afternoon. This is kind of exciting, especially since this academic superstar has done pretty important work in Fosco's specialty of queer theory.

And yet, as Fosco preps for this seminar, he can't help wondering: why would this scholar want a job at UCSC? Not that UCSC is Florida State or anything; but this scholar currently holds an endowed chair at the University of Chicago, one of the best universities in the country in one of the best cities in the country. Of course, it's entirely possible that this scholar is not realistically considering a job at UCSC and is hoping for this job offer as a bargaining chip to get a better deal from Chicago (sadly, that's the way the academic game is played). But assuming this scholar is actually interested in a job at UCSC, one might wonder what type of calculus goes into these kinds of decisions.

Just as an exercise in analysis, let's consider the comparisons:

• Location: Chicago v. Santa Cruz seems like a pretty easy choice; but let's consider that this scholar, like most of the major faculty here, would most likely live in San Francisco. Chicago v. SF is a much tougher call, especially if you take into account the difference in weather.
  
• Salary: UCSC will presumably be willing to pony up some cash here. But will University of Chicago be unwilling or unable to match it? I doubt it. In general, private schools (like Chicago) should be able to outspend public schools (like UCSC).
  
• Prestige: There is no question that U of C is much more prestigious institution--by a lot. However, this gap closes a little when you consider that the "History of Consciousness" department at UCSC has a pretty sexy academic reputation. Some of the most interesting and innovative contemporary thinkers in academia have been associated with this department over the years. Who wouldn't want to be in the (virtual) company of people like Hayden White, Donna Haraway, and Norman O. Brown?
  
• Resources/Facilities: UCSC is a public school in the middle of a major budget crisis. University of Chicago is a private institution with a largish endowment. Things here are pretty bleak financially; things there are, I would think, much better.
  
• Students: I don't want to be too harsh on the undergrads and grad students here at UCSC--many of them are first-rate (including people like Mere who any university would be lucky to have). But there is no question that U of C typically attracts higher quality students (on average).
  

Which means, I would have to think, that a decision to take a job at UCSC must be primarily about San Francisco or its weather (or some combination of the two). Of course, this is all speculation and there could be plenty of idiosyncratic reasons for preferring one job or institution over another. However, this kind of academic job-related decision-making process has always been quite fascinating to Fosco.

Meal on Wheels

Welcome to a new feature at Fosco Lives!: Foodie Friday. A whole day every week to talk about food. Will it be enough? We'll see.

This is a post dedicated to one of Fosco's very favorite eating experiences: dim sum. In Cantonese, dim sum literally means "a million little pieces." If you've never had dim sum, you're in for a treat someday. Basically, you sit and drink delicious hot tea while Chinese ladies wheel carts of Chinese appetizers past you. Any time you want something, you just point to it and you get to eat it! And you can do it all morning! Then later, when you're completely stuffed, you receive an inexplicably high bill that seems to bear no relation to the food you ate. It's a pretty amazing experience.

Fosco and Oz go about once a month on Sunday morning to their favorite dim sum restaurant, San Francisco's famous Yank Sing. Yank Sing has a lovely website that has a gorgeous gallery of dim sum items (although not all of our favorites appear). We tend to get Yank Sing's signature Shanghai dumplings, potstickers, spring rolls, steamed bao, sticky rice, turnip cake (Fosco's favorite), and one or three other items depending on our mood. And, of course, Fosco has to have an egg custard tart and mango pudding for dessert. It's better than church!

SFGate ran a feature on SF's dim sum houses this week, finding 46 of them in the area. Yank Sing reviewed well, of course (their Shanghai dumplings are accurately described as "the stuff of dreams"). The SFGate piece also offers some advice for enjoying dim sum for the first time, but not all of it is correct. For example, the SFGate's expert suggests that you should

Order one thing at a time. Although it's tempting to grab everything that looks good as the carts roll by, Chiang recommends getting one item at a time. Finish your first dish before moving on to the next. "I like to eat it in courses," she says. "That way, everything stays hot," which, she explains, is the most important thing when eating dim sum. Nobody likes a cold dumpling.

This is wrong, of course. The key to a satisfying dim sum experience is to grab as much as you can every time a cart goes by. If you don't have 4-5 dishes on your table, then you're not doing it right. And you don't have to worry about the food getting cold as long as you eat it fast enough. Hint: conversation is what you do after lunch.

Goodbye Bush Street. Hello Obama Avenue.

In case any of you were doubting that San Francisco rocks, here is further proof.

From a piece in SFGate:

On inaugural morning a mysterious group descended on Bush St. and covered up every mention of Bush with Obama stickers.

This is what it looks like:

Unfortunately, workers are removing the stickers as we speak. However, maybe this will spur the city government to permanently change the street name. Wouldn't that be cool?

Vietnamese in a Shoebox

Fosco took a little break from blogging this weekend. It was nice, but I still thought about all of you--frequently and fondly.

It was an action-packed weekend, with some piratical fun (more on that later), a Rock Band 2 marathon, and an emotional punch in the gut (courtesy of the newest BSG episode). But here's a highlight for you: a new restaurant review!

Yesterday, Fosco and Oz were in the city and decided to have Vietnamese "street food" for lunch. Fosco may have mentioned before that he's head-over-heels for the upscale Vietnamese food in the Bay Area (like the thrillingly precise Slanted Door or the artsy and romantic Tamarine). And that's not to mention the more traditional fanciness of Thanh Long (buttery garlic noodles!). But Oz promised this food would be quite different: simpler, more casual, and much heartier.

And so we went to the oddly named Cordon Bleu Restaurant on Nob Hill. Oz had warned me that the place was tiny, but I was still surprised. There were two tables and one counter with stools--seating for maybe fifteen customers. However, the room is painted a cheery yellow and there are pictures, so it's actually quite pleasant:


All of the cooking is performed behind the counter on a grilltop and a deep fryer:


Look at those Imperial Rolls coming out of the fryer!


The food is essentially a plate lunch. I got the #5 plate: a piece of 5-spice roasted chicken, a shish kebab, rice with meat gravy, cabbage salad, and an imperial roll. It was beautiful:

That's the 5-spice chicken breast at the top. The menu humbly suggests that it's "Possibly the best chicken outside of Vietnam." I think that is possibly right: it was juicy, tender, and deliciously smoky from the spices. The "shish kebab" is on the rice in the middle. It's actually not on a skewer; rather, it's a piece of beef pounded thin, marinated and grilled. The gravy for the rice is tomato based and has ground beef and onions in it--the flavor is reminiscent of Midwestern macaroni goulash (which is not a bad thing). The gravy is Oz's favorite. The imperial roll is mine--it was exceptional, better than any I've had anywhere else. Oh, and you know what makes this even better? My plate cost $6.85. That is a serious deal for some serious food.

Pictures of 2008: Frigid Baseball

Fosco recently realized that, by only blogging for three months last year, he never got to share tons of pictures with you from the rest of the year. So, for the next week or so, Fosco will offer a series of brief posts with some of his favorite pictures from his adventures in 2008. Check out the whole series here.

Last August (note the month), Fosco and Oz went to a Giants home game at AT&T Park in San Francisco. It's a really nice park (as you've probably seen on TV) with lots of amusements and concessions (including garlic fries! Yum!). However, it is also right on the SF Bay and, when you're sitting in the bleachers on a foggy night it gets COLD. Like really cold. Fosco had a coat and a scarf and still froze.

One neat thing: the Giants were playing the Dodgers that night, who had recently traded for dreadlocked All-Star Manny Ramirez (a trade that would propel them into the second round of the playoffs). Our bleacher seats were in Left Field, so we got a nice view of Manny:

By the fifth inning, we were popsicles (in August!) and so we left (as if we care about the Giants). This was a view of the ballpark as we walked to our car (in the howling wind):

You can even tell from behind that Fosco is freezing. In August!

Weekend Stories

Some quickbites from the weekend:

1. Will the real Bill Ayers please stand up? Oh, there he is, on the Op-Ed page of the NYTimes. He sounds like a pretty reasonable man, actually. The one good line:

We did carry out symbolic acts of extreme vandalism directed at monuments to war and racism

Why do I love the the phrase "extreme vandalism" so much? Because it reminds me of this (from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle):


How extreme was your vandalism, Bill Ayers? Extremely extreme! Wooo!

2. Let's stay on the NYT Op-Ed page for a second. In this piece, Patrick French needs to tell us that "They Hate Us — and India Is Us." Apparently, the terrorists hate Mumbai because

Despite its manifest social failings, India remains the developing world’s most successful experiment in free, plural, large-scale political collaboration.

The problem here, as Fosco has noted in a recent post, is that the phrase "despite its manifest social failings," brackets some serious contributing factors to the kind of violence directed against Mumbai. It's also worth noting that referring to Mumbai, which is the slum capital of the world, as "the developing world's most successful experiment" is a bit like calling Lubbock the most exciting city in Texas's South Plains. It may be true, but it's not really a cause for celebration. You know--it's as if the NYTimes op-ed columnists aren't reading Fosco Lives!

3. Did you hear that George W. and Lori Laura Bush bought a house in Dallas? Sounds like a perfect neighborhood for them, too. According to this story,

until 2000, the neighborhood association's covenant said only white people were allowed to live there, though an exception was made for servants.

That's right: "until 2000"! Now, I don't know if Kanye West was right that George Bush doesn't care about black people, but it sure seems like Bush doesn't want to see them at the block party.

4. Perhaps the saddest news that Fosco has to share with you today is that the recession is finally hitting Fosco's favorite sector of the economy: fine dining. From an article in the SF Chronicle:

Not since 9/11 have Bay Area restaurants, whether it be the fancy, white-tablecloth ones or the cozy neighborhood hangouts, seen such a lull in business. But this time, restaurant owners say, it's worse. Even in an area known for its obsession with food, some restaurants say revenue is down as much as 40 percent. Many restaurateurs are laying off workers; others reducing the days they are open.

Worst of all, there is no immunity for the Bay Area's premier temple of culinary art, Restaurant Michael Mina (home of two Michelin stars--the highest rating in the city):

For the first time in its nearly five-year existence, Michael Mina, the four-star restaurant in San Francisco's Westin St. Francis Hotel, will close two days of the week - Sunday and Monday. Chef-owner Michael Mina said those are his slowest days in an already slow economy. He said his sales fell 10 percent during September and October. Tables aren't filling up like they once did, and diners are shying away from expensive wines.

This is especially sad to Fosco as he has a thing for Michael Mina (the restaurant). In fact, this is where Fosco and Oz celebrated their first anniversary this past summer, over a meal that was spectacular in every way. Including dessert:


Hang in there, Michael Mina (the restaurant)! Fosco and Oz will be back (if the recession is over by their second anniversary).

America's Most Panoptic Cities

Fosco mostly ignored that whole controversy over Google's Street View feature. But, you know what? Even though it's a little creepy, Street View is fun! San Francisco is almost totally covered by the feature, which allows you to enjoy sights like three homosexuals conversing outside of hip Castro pet supplies emporium Best in Show. In five years, we won't remember how we lived without it.

There are other, better Street View discoveries, which you can find here.

If you prefer your all-seeing eye to be in real-time (and backed up by the power of THE LAW), then Chicago is your city. There are live crime cams in Chicago, and the po-po are watching. Feel safe? But be warned, because public alcohol consumption is a serious offense in Chi-Town. From the SF Chronicle:

Earl Gardner lounged on the street near his home just west of downtown Chicago, a 24-ounce can of Crazy Stallion beer in his hand.

A mile away, police Officer Al Garbauski slid a computer mouse to maneuver a camera that was perched a block from Gardner. Zooming in tight, Garbauski saw malt liquor meet mouth and sent an officer to arrest Gardner for drinking in public.

And the best part? The existence of a malt liquor called Crazy Stallion. The second best part? the Crazy Stallion Bottle looks like Arizona Ice Tea. The bad part? The police are watching us.

Welcome to the urban panopticon.

Tall Buildings Make Me Hot

In order to increase the inevitable carnage from the almost-assuredly-
sometime-in-our-lifetime Hayward Earthquake, the Powers-That-Be in San Francisco have decided the skyline needs another very tall building. Ergo, the Transbay Terminal of the future: a transportation hub with attached skyscraper. As we've learned in recent years from the MoMA and Carnegie Hall, a building ain't shit anymore if it don't got a tower attached to it. (Hmmm... I wonder if it's an accident that the same firm that built those two towers is building the Transbay...) I'm pretty sure there's an elementary school being built down the street from me in Santa Cruz that has a tower attached. "First Class Residential Living, Within Reach of the First Grade." Anyway...

The Transbay winning design, as chosen today by the Transbay Joint Powers Authority, is the not-exactly-iconic glass dildo designed by Kelly Clarkson Kelly Pelli Clarke Pelli. Seriously, I think I've identified the inspiration for this building:

Yes, that's right. The new Transbay Tower is based on a "personal massager" (and no, not all skyscrapers look like one. Would you ever put this in your vagina? Not on purpose, that's for sure. Eek.)

Of course, Pelli Clarke Pelli aren't terrible architects. They are responsible for the Petronas Towers (which actually might resemble another kind of sex toy). There's also something to be said for the pagoda-meets-prison ambiance of their Humanities and Social Sciences Building at UC Riverside (Go Highlanders!). But damn, for a building that is supposed to become the anchor of the SF skyline, the Transdildo isn't very inspired.

It might be argued that the most important part of the design is not the tower, but the public spaces at street level: the park, the terminal, the promenades. Well maybe, but aren't all those spaces just going to be covered with urine and feces?

Dreaming of Gary Danko...

The French Association Relais & Châteaux provides a guide to the most prestigious hotels and restaurants in over fifty countries. There are only eighteen restaurants in the United States that have earned the "Relais Gourmand" designation. In the last thirteen months, Count Fosco has dined at three of them. Here is one of those stories...

In July, Fosco had his belated birthday dinner in San Francisco with his mother and sister. Fosco would have loved to head to Napa to enjoy the delights of The French Laundry, but come on: a $200 prix fixe dinner? Not this year.

So instead, Fosco and the family went to dinner at the beloved Restaurant Gary Danko (which, it's worth noting, has the same food rating as the French Laundry in the current Zagat San Francisco guide. It's also the most popular restaurant in that survey).

[N.B., the restaurant is unrelated to the Jake Gyllenhaal space-time bender.]

Named for its eponymous master chef, Restaurant Gary Danko occupies an unassuming corner in a quiet residential neighborhood near the tourist monstrosities of Fisherman's Wharf and Ghirardelli Square. There is nothing touristy about GD. The interior is a comfortable haven from the street, with warm lighting and an extraordinary profusion of flowers. The atmosphere is relaxed and welcoming. GD prides itself on its service, and justifiably so: this was the friendliest restaurant staff I have ever experienced, from the waiters to the runners to the sommelier. You will feel extremely at ease at GD, I promise. No wonder it's so hard to get a reservation (it really was).

I'm going to walk you through our dinner course-by-course. But remember: I'm not John Mackey, so my food photographs are taken with a camera phone and they are not very good (seriously, how the hell does JM take such good pictures of food? Click on his "Journal/Blog" link and enjoy the deliciousness).

There is nothing like a gorgeous place setting. And this picture shows nothing like a gorgeous place setting. But trust me, that glass plate with the black blossoms was exquisite. (The photos do get a little better after this one.)
Shall we begin with an amuse? Indeed! These are blurry chicken dumplings floating in wild mushroom broth. Pretty simple, but quite delicious--and kind of surprising for summer.
My family and I challenged the sommelier by requesting a "reasonable" wine that works well with seafood (for my mom and my sister) and red meat (for extremely carnivorous Fosco). She was a pro (of course), and came up with a delightful rosé by Clos Saron in the Sierras called "Tickled Pink." I guess there is some sort of stigma attached to rosé, but this was a really good wine for all of our various courses.
First Course. My mom had the Risotto with Lobster, Rock Shrimp, Corn and Tomatoes. My sister had Sweet White Corn Soup with Corn Truffle Ravioli and Summer Truffles. Fosco had the Seared Foie Gras with Caramelized Red Onions and Peaches (pictured below). I think that carmelized red onions are now one of my favorite fruits (they're hiding under that green stuff). And that sweet and savory jus at the bottom of the plate? So delicious. I wanted to lick it up.
Let's take a quick break to note how beautiful my sister looked that night.
Main Course. My sister continued the corn theme (a choice she later regretted, just from the perspective of having too much of one flavor) with the Roast Maine Lobster with Yellow Chanterelle Mushrooms, Corn and Tarragon. Gary Danko is known for his work with lobster and this was really quite thrilling:
My mother had the absolutely beautiful Seared Sea Scallops with Sweet Pea PurÈe, Shimeji Mushrooms, Chorizo and Fava Beans. Look at those scallops! They were so rich and smooth.
I enjoyed the Roasted Loin of Bison with King Trumpet Mushrooms, Onion and Herb Spaetzle. This is one of the three or four most delicious things I've ever eaten. The bison was seasoned so extraordinarily that, just by itself, it would have made the whole meal. But the gorgeous green spaetzle were thrilling as well. This was a hearty dish with surprisingly complex flavors. I could eat it everyday. Bask in its bisonic glory:
I had read that GD's cheese cart is pretty impressive, so I decided to have a cheese course. I made the following four choices (beginning in the upper right corner on the plate below and moving clockwise):

1. I forget the name of the first cheese, but it was from France, it was creamy, and it contained plums soaked in Armagnac. Yes, it was as good as it sounds.
   
2. The delightfully creamy (and buttery) Pave d'Affinois.
   
3. The truly exceptional Hook's Cheddar from Wisconsin. Sharp as a blade, baby. I could eat some of this on crackers for lunch most days.
   
4. And, for a little bit of adventure, a very smelly Livarot. This is a complex flavor--one that gets up into your sinuses and says "Fuck You!" It was pretty remarkable. However, I couldn't eat this on crackers everyday.

And now we come to the mild disappointment of the evening: dessert. I hate to say it, but the desserts at Gary Danko just weren't up to the standard set by the rest of the food. Not that they were bad; they just weren't very interesting. I had a Chocolate Cherry Napoleon with Pistachio, Black Pepper and Red Wine Ice Cream, which sounds a lot better than it was. It was basically just chocolate and cherry flavors. My mom and sister were similarly unimpressed with their desserts.
Next time, I think I'll just do with cheese for dessert. (Although, perhaps the dessert offerings in other seasons are better.) There was a plate of petits fours, of course, thoughtfully topped with a candle and a chocolate script "Happy Birthday" (to me!). And the "ladies" in my party (which apparently does not include Fosco) were each given a beautifully-wrapped peach upside down cake to enjoy for breakfast the next morning. Luckily, Fosco's sister is allergic to peaches so I could eat hers. Take that, sex-discriminating pastries!

On the whole, dinner at Gary Danko was one of the exceptional meals in my life. The cuisine, the atmosphere, and the service made this a truly extraordinary birthday dinner. Allow me to recommend Gary Danko for your next special occasion.

Chapter 26: In which Fosco's culinary adventures become ridiculous.

JennyT has the coolest job. As a very important executive in a company that imports bronze Buddhas from Thailand, she frequently gets to visit the SF Bay area. You may recall her previous visits in the last few months, chronicled heah and heah. And remember that time she and her husband, the Swedish Meatball, visited Santa Cruz? Yeah, me too. That was fun.

Last week, she was back! And we spent a drizzly afternoon eating our way across San Francisco. I've mentioned before that JennyT and I both consider eating to be the primary touristic activity, but this time we took it to an absurd level.

We began at Fosco's new favorite place in the whole universe (even more than The Watergarden!): the Ferry Building. This place is a foodie's absolute DREAM! No wonder Rachael Ray began her San Francisco episode of "Tasty Travels" there. JennyT and I started with lunch at retro/hipster burger joint Taylor's Automatic Refresher (and, may I add, James Beard award winner!). I enjoyed my Texas Blue Ring burger (bleu cheese, bacon, bbq sauce, topped with an onion ring) and garlic-parsley fries. I wish my cell took better pix, because those fries were smackin'.

We then browsed through the specialty shops in the Ferry Building Marketplace. However, we kept running afoul of a twenty-person production crew in teal polo-shirts filming an episode of some show called "Take Home Chef." As far as I can tell from my 20 second perusal of the website, it appears to be some sort of cooking show with a chef/gigolo. It all looked a bit dodgy to us in person: the "chef" was wearing pancake makeup and appeared to be a graduate of Handsome Boy Modeling School. And whenever we tried to shop at a store, the crew would show up and push us out of the way. It was so not cool. Who would have thought that you need a twenty-person crew to film a show that I've never heard of?

Eventually, Johnny Fancypants and his cameras left and we were able to get down to serious dessert-hunting. We stopped at Miette for pastries. I had a delicious chocolate cupcake capped by a perfect Taj Mahal dome of marshmallow cream. JennyT enjoyed a dark chocolate tartlette. So buttery was that crust!

Of course, preparations had to be made for future desserts, and Fosco found himself enthralled by the creations of boutique chocolatier Michael Recchiuti. At $50/pound, Fosco was unable to buy the five pounds that he wanted. However, he still managed to buy at least one of almost every assorted chocolate (which he consumed later that evening while in his pajamas). His favorites:

• Bergamot Tea
  
• Cardamom Nougat
  
• Tarragon Grapefruit
  
• Honeycomb Malt
  

and, although it was a little strange, Fosco is still a bit haunted by the Star Anise and Pink Peppercorn chocolate.

After leaving the Ferry Building, we realized that it was time for a second dessert and so we headed over to SoMa to enjoy the brilliance of Japanese creampuffs at Beard Papa. I had never had a Beard Papa cream puff, but nothing says delicious like beards... Have you seen this Beard Papa guy? Clearly, this is a gentleman who enjoys cream puffs.



Will it surprise you that they are delicious? They are, although the best thing about the whole experience may be the whiff of fresh creampuff that greets you at the door.


Although they are a franchise, it seems that you're out-of-luck unless you live in the Northeast, California, or Hawaii. Or Japan.

Next, JennyT and I did our only non-food-related activity for the day: we paid our respects at the Tower Records Wake/Going-Out-of-Business Sale (at the oldest Tower Records in San Francisco--since 1968). On the day we went, the CDs were 70% off. The DVDs were even cheaper. I bought that Radiohead documentary and a bunch of emo-ish CDs (how is it that they were still on the shelves? Oh yeah, everyone but me hates emo.) The nearby "Classical Annex" was already shuttered--classical fans had cleaned it out weeks ago. I think JennyT bought some store fixtures. This was a particularly poignant activity for me, as I spent probably thousands of dollars as a college student at the Tower Records in Harvard Square. Probably half of my classical CD's are from that store. Alas.

Shopping made us hungry. And so, we headed for dinner at hole-in-the-wall hipster hangout Emmy's Spaghetti Shack in the Mission District. It's really pretty brilliant, actually. The spaghetti with meatballs is killer--and I mean that. Spaghetti is not an easy dish to make interesting/memorable at a restaurant, but Emmy's does it exceptionally well. I also enjoyed a delightful Lime Basil Mandarin Martini (pictured at right, a la John Mackey): Ketel One, Lime Juice, Basil Simple Syrup and Orange Water. Yum! The one drawback with this place was that JennyT and I were seated between two tables of foul-smelling bohemians (you know, like the characters is Rent). I have written at length about the problems I have with the Left's lack of hygiene, but this was just gross.

And just think: if I hadn't had to rush back to Santa Cruz for a social engagement, JennyT and I might have been able to have Second Dinner together as well!