Santa Cruz Trivialities

This was a big week in news here in Santa Cruz. What did you miss by not living here (other than sun and surf)? I'm glad you asked.

• After a series of horrifying attacks on UCSC biomedical researchers last fall, four animal rights activists were finally indicted this week (including at least one UCSC graduate). You may recall that one of the attacks involved the four mask-wearing activists shaking the door of a researcher's home during a child's birthday party; when the researcher's husband opened the door, they hit him on the arm and yelled "We're gonna get you." So naturally, the defense here is free speech. Wait, what? Yes, apparently it was all free speech:
  

  Khajavi was the only defendant to speak at the rally. Reading from a prepared statement, the 20-year-old UC Santa Cruz graduate said she has never been in trouble before and is only being punished for trying to express her point of view.
  
  "I'm a victim of free speech suppression," she said.
  
  [...]
  
  Well-known civil rights lawyer Tony Serra, who is representing Khajavi, said his client and the other defendants are idealist kids whose free-speech rights are being curtailed. Punishing youth for dissenting leads to the downfall of a society, Serra said.
  
  "We represent the voice of tomorrow," he said.

  Which may be true: especially if the voice of tomorrow is threatening, masked, and (frankly) not too bright. Actually, maybe that is the voice of tomorrow. While Fosco has complex and ambivalent feelings about biomedical research that involves animals, he does know one thing: what these activists did is not protected speech. And, in all likelihood, they have set back their own cause.
  
  
• Hey, remember that HBO show where all the characters had sex and stuff? That doesn't narrow it down? Well, remember the one about sex therapy that had like old people doing it and stuff? It was called "Tell Me You Love Me," remember? Fosco saw an episode once and it was, ummm, not exactly very sexy--which I guess was the point. However, Fosco did recognize one of the leads, Adam Scott, from his appearance as the hip seducer teacher in one episode of "Veronica Mars." And while seeing Adam Scott masturbate into a cup on "Tell Me You Love Me" really didn't float Fosco's boat, he does think Scott is a somewhat appealing actor. Well, it turns out that Scott is a lead in some new series on Starz (as if Fosco will ever watch that--he's never even heard of that channel!); but more interestingly, Adam Scott is originally from Santa Cruz. As the Sentinel article notes:
  

  Scott, who turns 36 in April, first moved to Hollywood from Santa Cruz in the early 1990s fresh out of high school. He now looks back in wonder at the blind optimism and naivete that sustained him in those early days.
  
  "If I had known then that it would be 2009 before I started actually feeling the repercussions of success, I would have moved back to Santa Cruz a long time ago."

  You go, Adam. Reprazent!
  
  
• Finally, you may have heard that Northern California is in a bit of drought. Well, now it's official: there will be water restrictions in Santa Cruz this summer. That sounds bad, right? Fosco was very discouraged by the headline, picturing a summer filled with two-minute showers and toilets full of unflushed urine. But then he actually read the article. Guess what "water restrictions" means?
  

  According to a proposal from the Santa Cruz Water Department, about 90,000 county residents served by the agency could be limited to watering on two assigned days of the week, and only before 10 a.m. and after 5 p.m. beginning May 1. Days of the week have not been assigned, but all residential customers should have one weekend day on which to water, said Toby Goddard, the district's conservation manager. Commercial customers also will be restricted.

  Considering that Fosco lives in an apartment, this will have exactly NO effect on his life this summer. Water restrictions? Bring 'em on!
  
  It does raise another question, though. If water is scarce in NorCal (and it is), why don't we always have such obvious commonsense restrictions on lawn watering? And who are the idiots watering the grass at noon every day of the week?

Coming Soon: Soleil Moon Frye's Philosophical Ontology

Fosco is completely exhausted and maybe a little ill after a weekend of working hard and playing hard. Because he has no energy today (and still some work to finish), he's going to postpone "Music Monday" until tomorrow--at which point it will become "Muesic Tuesday" or something like that.

For your Fosco Lives! pleasure today, I can offer you this brief anecdote. Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, Fosco decided that he needed a specific academic book immediately for his paper-in-progress. The book is Basic Philosophical Writings by Emmanuel Levinas. The cover looks like this:

Because Fosco was in Daly City at Oz's place, the UCSC library was not a good option. Fosco decided that the most likely bookstore on the entire SF Peninsula to carry this book would be the Stanford bookstore in Palo Alto. Fosco called and reserved the book at said Stanford bookstore (they had it in stock!) and stopped by Palo Alto on the way to visit a friend in Santa Clara. I won't go into details about the difficulty of locating the Stanford bookstore (just know that it was hard).

Once inside the bookstore, Fosco went to retrieve the book from the Information Desk. That's where he had the following conversation:

FOSCO: You're holding a book for me?
MIDDLE-AGED LADY EMPLOYEE: What's your name?
FOSCO: [gives his name]
EMPLOYEE: [fetches book from shelf, glances at the cover.] Emmanuel Lewis?
FOSCO: [assuming that she's making a (pretty clever) joke] Something like that.
EMPLOYEE: [looks at cover again] Oh! Emmanuel Levinas! I read it wrong.
FOSCO: That's okay, I think that's funny. [starts to walk away]
EMPLOYEE: [calling out after Fosco] "Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?"

I think there are numerous lessons that we can learn from this interaction:

1. A book's cover design is key--splitting the author's name into two separate fonts that point in two separate directions is a recipe for disaster.
   
2. People tend to confuse Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman (or, even worse, tend to assimilate Lewis completely to Coleman).
   
3. TV's "Webster" lacked the necessary sassy catchphrase that would have made the show memorable twenty years later.

I can already imagine the LOLtheorists pix that some of Fosco's loyal readers will submit... Todd?

Acting Baby!

In the last few weeks, Fosco has discovered that busy work (cleaning, filing, folding laundry, etc.) can be made less monotonous with "CSI: Miami" on in the background. Actively viewing this show would no doubt lead one to need an intellectual shower; however, passive background viewing allows one to enjoy a reasonable approximation of epistemological satisfaction without having to worry about the cardboard characters, improbable plots, and dreadful dialogue. Also, you rarely need to watch the screen. And you can leave for 5-10 minutes without missing anything very important.

For sheer ridiculousness, the best part of the show is David Caruso. I mentioned this to Todd the other day, and in his web-trawling he came across this remarkably accurate flow chart to represent David Caruso's acting "method":

Fosco watched an episode last night with this diagram in mind; let me assure you that there is no exaggeration.

Finally, some good news involving Michael Cera.

Even the sad news about Defamer can't take the shine off this story they reported today: Michael Cera is finally onboard for the Arrested Development movie. According to the source, shooting could start "this winter" (which presumably means next winter, i.e. Winter 2010).

So many "long national nightmares" have ended recently that Fosco can barely keep track of them. But yes, another long national nightmare is over.

In related casting news, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has signed on to play the role of Waiter #3 in the film. Clearly, it's an excellent choice.

More of a Cameo Than I Require

[If you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica Episode 4.17, "No Exit" and you care about spoilers, you should stop reading now.]

Fosco was surprised to find that last week's new episode of BSG contained a cameo appearance by John Hodgman. You know Hodgman from his guest appearances on "The Daily Show" and for his role as "PC" in those ubiquitous Mac v. PC commercials. Or you may, like Fosco, enjoy his books.

But even though Fosco likes John Hodgman (with a few reservations), he certainly did not appreciate his BSG cameo. These are the last few episodes of BSG and the revelations (and bodies) are piling up. This is a very serious time in what is a very serious television show. BSG, unlike many other cult hits, is not particularly interested in sharing "knowing winks" with its audience. But that's exactly what John Hodgman's cameo was--an "in joke" for geeks. Unfortunately, this kind of joke prevented me from taking Hodgman's scenes seriously--I was too distracted by the strangeness of John Hodgman suddenly appearing in deep space.

I can't imagine who will be make a guest appearance in next week's show. Bruce Campbell as a ridiculously overconfident Viper pilot? Patrick Stewart as a coldly imperious starship captain? Kevin Smith as a slacker mechanic? Neil Gaiman as some sort of space-goth?

N.B.: while researching this post, Fosco stumbled across John Hodgman's blog. The design is absolutely brilliant.

So say we all...

As it's been only two days since Fosco announced his Literacy Challenge 2009, he's a little embarrassed to be talking to you today about a television show. Even so, Fosco cannot contain his excitement over tonight's return of Battlestar Galactica for its final ten episode run. The solutions to several mysteries will be revealed in the second half of Season 4 (or are we calling these new episodes Season 5?), including the identity of the all-important twelfth Cylon.

Now Fosco is no sci-fi nerd; nor does he much care for space operas (he'd rather visit the dentist than watch any of the Star Trek series). But, at the insistence of both Oz and Todd, Fosco gave BSG (that's what the kids call it) a chance and got totally hooked. He essentially watched the entire series with Oz last summer. And now Fosco is about to make a bold statement:

Battlestar Galactica is the best dramatic series of the decade.

A strong claim, I know, but let's talk about it. First of all, Fosco had to use the qualifier "dramatic" because (as he's said before), "Arrested Development" is the best television show of the decade. Even so, Fosco is willing to rank BSG above dramatic series like "The Sopranos" or "Angel" (both shows that Fosco admires greatly). [N.B., Fosco has not yet watched "The Wire." It's on his list.]

What makes BSG so good is not the special effects (though they often aren't terrible) nor the acting (which has a few low points--I'm looking at you, Mr. Bamber). Rather, it's the philosophical sophistication and political relevance of its storylines. "The Sopranos" is philosophically sophisticated too, of course, but these two series explore different territory. While "The Sopranos" is concerned with the emptiness at the center of everyday American life under late capitalism, BSG considers the question of the survival of a democratic society under threat from within and without. What is the best way to govern in a time of emergency? What is the proper relationship between the military and civil society? Who (or what) qualifies as a subject under the rule of law? How is war to be carried out? What is the relationship between civil society and religion? Should one protect a society that is founded on an act of evil? Can that evil ever be remedied? These are the questions that BSG deals with. Some of them may sound a little familiar...

Now, considering that only ten episodes remain in the entire series, it would be silly for Fosco to recommend you start watching the show tonight (although SciFi Channel would love that). However, I do recommend you get the miniseries that started it all and give it a shot.

If you can't call in gay...

By now, you've probably heard that tomorrow is the Day without a Gay, a day when gays across the country (and their allies) will skip work to teach the rest of you a lesson about our indispensability (I hope none of you have Broadway tix...). But, the idea is not for all of the hooky-playing gays (and their allies) to lounge around their gay homes all day (see pic at right). Rather, we are encouraged to donate our time to community service projects.

Fosco loves the idea, of course, but as he mentioned previously, his students have a Final Exam tomorrow for which he sorta needs to be available. But luckily, Fosco is not alone: there are other gays who cannot get off work tomorrow. So what are important working gays like us supposed to do?

Luckily, the organizer

has specifically urged high school students not to walk out of their classes and assured college students they won't be disloyal to the cause if they go ahead and take their final exams. He also has listed opportunities--ranging from writing letters to members of Congress about federal gay rights legislation to spreading the word about Wednesday on social networking sites--for gay marriage backers who cannot miss work.

Or, if you prefer other options, one of the other marriage equality groups has offered another way to participate:

Join The Impact, the online community that launched protests last month over the passage of gay marriage bans in California, Florida and Arizona, has urged people to withdraw $80 from their bank accounts Wednesday to demonstrate gays' spending power, and to devote the time they might otherwise spend watching TV or surfing the Internet to volunteer work.

So what is Fosco to do? While it would probably be easiest for him to withdraw $80 from his bank account, he's not sure he actually has $80 in his bank account. I suppose he could spend his internet time volunteering. But wouldn't that be punishing you, Fosco's loyal readers? (Or is that the point?) And if gays choose not to watch television tomorrow, won't that cause "Top Chef" to tank? No one wants that. As for writing letters to members of Congress, we've already seen that Fosco has no luck (damn you, Feinstein and Boxer). So that leaves the option of promoting gay marriage rights on Facebook. Maybe Fosco will use his Facebook status message! Wow, activism sure is hard!

But seriously, Fosco will actually do something tomorrow (other than update his Facebook status) to participate in the No Gay Day. And you should too.

From the Aztec Tomb...

It's closer... I can almost taste it! As Fosco mentioned recently, there is the tantalizing possibility of an "Arrested Development" movie.

To help you understand just exactly the domino of events that need to take place for such a wonderful thing to happen, Defamer has put together a handy "Arrested Development" film tracker. Fosco has "borrowed" it and presents it for you here:

It seems like the major problem at this point is the "NO" from box office powergeek Michael Cera.

As far as Fosco is concerned, an AD movie is just not possible without George Michael. Is it time for a "Draft Michael Cera" web campaign (www.draftmichaelcera.com)? Do any of you readers happen to... know him?

Knowing Who Your Friends Are

As Fosco noted in (the depths of) his Prop 8 Omnibus, you can track donors to both sides of the Prop 8 battle using this database (always with the caveat: donations under $100 do not seem to appear in the database, which leaves Fosco out in the cold...).

It seems lots of smart and angry gays have been using this information to drive boycotts. That's fine with Fosco: political decisions (including donations) should have consequences. Don't expect Fosco to slip you his hard-earned(?) cash if you want to deprive Fosco of basic civil rights.

This information is also useful for another purpose, as described by Gloria Nieto in the same article:

"I prefer a buycott to a boycott. Yahoo, Apple, Google all opposed Prop. 8," she said, and people should buy from companies that support gay rights.

A buycott is a delightful idea (although I don't have to give Todd another reason to buy things from Apple...), but we could even expand the buycott idea a bit to include support for the cultural productions of individual donors (such as actors, etc.)

With that idea in mind, Fosco has done a bit of due diligence and come up with a list of some cultural producers who donated money to fight Prop 8. While you can do this search for any town or state, Fosco has done the dirty work already for everyone's favorite world city: New York! After combing through the records of the 1200 donors NYC donors, Fosco has identified these heroes as worthy of your support (Fosco also lists the amount of their donations):

• Alan Alda, actor, $5,000
  
• Anne Hathaway, actor, $10,000
  
• Eve Ensler, playwright (The Vagina Monologues!), $200
  
• Jonathan Adler, interior designer (and "Top Design" judge), $500
  
• Mark Doty, poet, $100
  
• Michael Ausiello, TV critic, $100
  
• Mike Signorile, gay radio host, $100
  
• Robert Gober, artist, $5,000
  
• Robin Quivers, Howard Stern co-host, $1,000
  
• T.R. Knight, actor ("Grey's Anatomy"), $100,000. That's right: A HUNDRED FUCKING GRAND.
  
• Tony Kushner, playwright (Angels in America), $15,000
  
• Wanda Sykes, actress, $19,500
  

Fosco is actually pretty impressed with some of these folks and his attitude is changing. Suddenly he likes Anne Hathaway a lot more. Ditto for Wanda Sykes. And TR Knight now has to be considered the best thing ever.

May Fosco recommend the purchase of Alan Alda's newest book?

Bad News, Good News

While it looks like Fosco's beloved "Pushing Daisies" is in real danger of being canceled (and yet, the CSI: Miami Beach continues unabated its war against neurons...), Fosco's buddy Todd passed along some good news:

there will be an "Arrested Development" movie!
Or is this news premature?

Because you gotta believe, Fosco is going to assume that the movie will happen and will happen soon. Then, the only question Fosco needs answered is whether the entire original cast will be willing to participate. And can Liza be unfrozen for a cameo?

The Final Countdown

Okay, if you haven't watched the best television show of this decade, Arrested Development, this post will be less enjoyable (although if you like to laugh at amateur magicians, you still might find this worth your while).

From an article in yesterday's Santa Cruz Sentinel: "There is magic in the air when the Coastal Magicians Club meets at the Live Oak Senior Center."

Granted, it's no "Magician's Alliance"; however, the club does seem pretty worthy of Gob Bluth.

According to the past-president, "Red Malone":

"My tricks cost me about $150 these days" said Malone, who regularly buys the secrets of how to do tricks and the materials needed from Hocus Pocus Magic Shop in Fresno.

Not tricks, Michael. Illusions.

"Make 'em come up"

Fosco is generally pessimistic about new television series--particularly ones that begin in the Fall on a major network (it's usually the sneaky mid-season cable shows that end up being surprising). But, thanks to a badly-title good review in today's NYTimes, Fosco watched "Pushing Daisies" tonight. The show has been over for six minutes now and Fosco is still breathless with excitement. The show is AMAZING. It's the best thing Fosco has seen on TV in years. The review suggests the show owes a debt to Amelie, and I guess that's true (especially in some of the camera work). But the more apparent debt is to the incomparable Tim Burton: a technicolor world full of eccentricity and the constant threat of menace. Yet, at the same time, it's gentle and sweet. Fosco almost cried at one point tonight.

You need to watch this show.

[N.B.: Fosco apologizes for the semi-gratuitous Ween reference in the title of this post.]

The End of Summer: Picturebox Edition

Tomorrow is the first day of classes at the U (stupid quarter system, grrr...). So, for Fosco, today is the last day of summer (never mind that he's been reading phenomenology for an upcoming seminar for two days now). Ahhh, and what a summer it's been. It began, like all summers do, with good intentions, high expectations, and a large stack of must-read books. It ends, like all summers do, with regrets, recriminations, and dread. And so it goes...

What did Fosco actually do this summer?

Well, for one thing, he watched way too much television. A few of the shows were good, like House. One has to love Hugh Laurie, even if one hates most of the rest of the cast (especially the girl doctor and her Australian boyfriend). And despite the fact that every episode seems to end with a musical interlude in which all of the characters look pensive as they process the lessons they've learned, there are always a few laugh-out-loud lines. (N.B.: last night's season premiere was really well-written, even working in a knowing wink to lupus-loving fans of the show.) Also generally good: Monk (loved the Snoop Dogg guest appearance this summer), Psych (wacky and occasionally charming), and My Life on the D-List (Suck it, Jesus).

Some shows were occasionally worthwhile (but probably not worth watching during the school year): The Closer (intermittently funny, but why is Kyra Sedgwick's character so whiny?) and Bones (partially satisfies my post-Angel yearning for the smart-ass David Boreanaz, but why is the forensic anthropologist so annoying?).

Shows that I'm ashamed to have watched too much of this summer (please don't judge me): 30 Rock, Frasier and, worst of all, Everybody Loves Raymond. I'm not proud of any of this.

Show that I loved for two months and now loathe: Gilmore Girls. It's so weird, but after I watched almost all the episodes in a flurry this summer, I now can't stand this show. I even cried at the finale! But now I would rather go to the dentist than see an episode. Boy, is my TiVo confused...

And finally, you may be asking yourself: how did Fosco miss seeing the unanimous critical winner of the summer, Mad Men? I don't know. It looked a lot like Far From Heaven and I'd already seen that. I guess that's not much of an excuse.

Four Excuses

Fosco recently hinted that he has been a busy little bee for the last six months and promised to tell you what he was doing instead of blogging. He's already offered two excuses . In the interests of not dragging this out, here are all of the other things that prevented Fosco from blogging for most of this year:

• in the past, Fosco has occasionally complained about being single. Well, somehow the previously unlovable Fosco has found himself a boyfriend. For our purposes here at Fosco Lives!, we're going to call him "Ozias Midwinter" or "Oz" for short. Oz is (if you'll permit me to say) quite adorable. He hails originally from the Sandwich Islands. He works at the corporate headquarters of a trendy company located somwhere between San Jose and San Francisco (psst: it's not MMM Carpets. Mmm... carpets...). He is fun and things are going really well. Oh, and he thinks blogs are pretentious and narcissistic. Well, yeah.
  
  
• Fosco's a little embarrassed about this one... but he got himself a Second Life. You've maybe heard of Second Life: that virtual "game" where you just sort of live a life instead of actually going on a quest or something. For gay men in Second Life, this means three activities: sex, dancing, and shopping. (Wait, is that just Second Life?) Fosco is proud to say that, while he did indeed explore the Big Three, he has moved toward a more productive second life: as the owner and curator of a contemporary art gallery! Apparently, that's what Fosco would be doing if he lived in a world (like Second Life) in which books and food are totally irrelevant. Right now, Fosco's gallery is showing works by artist-of-the-moment Jeff Wall. I'll probably blog more about Second Life at some point in the future.
  
  
• since discovering Arrested Development during my recovery from The Accident, I've been hooked. In my spare time over the past eight months, I have managed to watch the entire series (two and two thirds seasons) FIVE TIMES. Five whole times! It's heaven... for crazy people.
  
  
• here's a time waster extraordinaire: Facebook! As an old-timer Harvardian, Fosco remembers when the facebook was a book. It was called the Freshman Facebook and it was sent out to all members of the firstyear class the summer before they arrived at Harvard (or did they give it to us at orientation? Well, whichever.). It had the high school pictures of every member of the firstyear class. It was indexed by first name! It told you where each student was from and which freshman dorm he or she lived in. It was the perfect guide to getting to know one's classmates.
  
  The online version is useful for different reasons: it's a great way to catch up with your old friends, you can explore your social networks, and the interface is very clean and fun and appealing. It doesn't look cheap and vulgar like MySpace. Here's the key to Facebook: Facebook is the Target to MySpace's WalMart. And who doesn't love Target?

HSM2: Instant Review

Fosco just finished watching "High School Musical 2." Some thoughts:

• there are several very catchy songs--at least two to rival HSM1. "The Music in Me" is the standout.
  
• just like HSM1, there was almost an hour of dead space in the middle of the movie. I really expected the pacing to be better.
  
• Zac Efron is indeed unpleasantly bronzed. Two delicious shirtless scenes for him, though.
  
• the black girl had even less to do in this movie than in the first.
  
• Lucas Grabeel as Ryan Evans was gratifyingly more central to this movie than the first; unfortunately, his character couldn't quite handle the increased depth.
  
• kudos to the writers and to Disney Channel for refusing to fix the clearly proto-gay Ryan up with any of the stray girls in the script. I was worried throughout the whole second movie that there would be a "happy ending" in which he becomes interested in a girl. And more kudos to portraying his relationship with his father as supportive and playful. There is good anti-stereotype work here.
  
• boos to the sound mixing. All of the vocals in all of the songs clearly had the electronic tang of Pro Tools. Obviously, occasional electronic help is necessary for most artists, but the work here was purposefully obvious. I suppose the music producers thought it made the songs sound more hip-hop or whatever, but it's going to make these performances sound dated by, oh, tomorrow.
  
• What is wrong with Ashley Tisdale? Her voice sounded extremely weak--much weaker than in the first movie. And after her hilarious "Fabulous" number (around minute fifteen), all the fun drains from her performance. She played the villain with such elan in HSM1, but can't pull it off here.
  
• the climax: a talent show that is crashed by the resort employees. Hmmm. "Dirty Dancing?" I love a movie that isn't afraid of cliche...
  
• and what about that moment where Zac Efron's character hugs Vanessa Hudgens from behind and puts his forearm completely across her breasts (as opposed to under her breasts). Do you hug people like that? And isn't that a bit racy for a movie that prevents the main couple from kissing until the final resolution?
  
• For the most profitable franchise in Disney Channel history, the special effects were laughable. I've seen better effects in Ed Wood films.
  
• the most enjoyable moments: the wacky family dynamics in the Evans family. There could have been more.

On the whole, I would rate HSM2 as enjoyable, but not nearly as good as HSM1.

Now Fosco has to learn all of the songs before the special "sing-along-at-home" version airs on Sunday night.

We're all in this together!

It's Friday night and Fosco is staying in. And not (just) because he's too engrossed in Armadale to hit the bars. No, tonight Fosco will be in front of his television to watch the premiere of "High School Musical 2."

Fosco has considered himself an honorary tween for several years now, at least in terms of his taste in music (Aly and AJ) and lip gloss (raspberry, baby!). But even more so, Fosco adores the tween sensation made-for-TV movie HSM. He owns the CD and the DVD and can do serious karaoke to all of the songs. Oh and someday he's going to write about the latent queerness in the script (yay Lucas Grabeel!). (Hmmm. Am I now going to get some tween commenter to write in to tell me that HSM isn't queer? Ooooh, I can't wait.)

And tonight... a whole new HSM! With all of the original cast returning (and yes, I'm sure some of them did have other things to do)! From the reviews I've read, it sounds as if HSM2 wisely takes its cue from the "Saved by the Bell" summer episodes in which the characters all get jobs at a beach resort. Beach resorts are the perfect place for singing and dancing and romance! Although let's hope there is no dirty sanchez action in this one.

Here are some HSM-related titbits:

• My good friend Nathan found the best blog today: Zac Efron Please Stop Tanning. The title refers to the male lead in HSM and HSM2 and his quite unfortunate exposure to ultraviolet radiation. It's a hoot. I think I'm going to add it to my "Blogs I Read" sidebar...
  
• You can purchase life-size cardboard cutouts of the main characters in HSM (see photos accompanying this post). Lucas Grabeel, who plays Ryan Evans, is 5'9" in real life. Did you know that his character wears nine different hats during the first movie? How many will he wear in the second movie? I hope very many. They are like his trademark.
  
• The character Sharpay (played with scene-chomping gusto by Ashley Tisdale) is a dead ringer for one of Fosco's ex-girlfriends.

Oh, and just in case you were interested, Fosco now knows what flavor lip gloss he would be. See below.

You Are Raspberry Chocolate Lip Gloss

You tend to approach life as a fun game - being playful at every turn. You're a flirt with flair, and your the type most likely to surprise your date. But you're popularity doesn't stop with guys... you've got a great group of girlfriends too! You're fresh, aggressive, and more than a little sassy. The tangy taste of raspberry and watermelon goes great on your lips.

What Flavor Lip Gloss Are You?

Fosco's New Year

Because of The Accident, Fosco's New Year's Eve plans were a bit less adventurous than usual (NSFW, but a must-see as it is very strange). Fosco's family is still in town, so he spent the evening sitting at home making fun of things with his sister, Maggie Tulliver.

What did we do?

• watched the series finale of Arrested Development. And although I hate to say it, while AD may not have the narrative drive and suspense of a drama like Veronica Mars, it is actually a better show.
  
• watched Bollywood trailers on the internet.
  
• discovered that Mormon cinema is called "Mollywood." Here's a description of one of those Mormon films: "Sons of Provo (2004). Mockumentary about an LDS boy-band named Everclean." It sounds kind of funny, but I'm sure the Mormons found some way to prevent that. Ugh, Mormons.
  
• discovered the Jollywood Moving Picture Co., which appears to be some sort of training project for teens with video cameras. Here's a sentence (from a description of one of their films) that made my sister and me laugh heartily for almost 10 minutes: " The movies [sic] style was influenced by the mockumentary "Dog Show" starring Eugene Levy." I love that sentence so much.
  
• watched the musical numbers from Moulin Rouge!.
  
• and finally, as midnight approached, we couldn't bear to count down with either Ryan Seacrest or Carson Daly (they make our eyes bleed, they do). Instead, we did the countdown en español on Univision.
  

How's that for an exciting New Year's Eve?

If you want to read about a productive/party-filled NYE, visit Ted. He spent time at some place called "The Hole," which practically makes me tingle with curiosity.

Year in Discoveries: 2006

I love this list: the things that Fosco discovered in 2006 that gave the year its identity. Of course, many of these things were actually not new in 2006--just new to Fosco. With that in mind, let's tour Fosco's 2006 discoveries...

• Arrested Development: Fosco watched all three seasons on DVD during his recuperation from The Accident. I don't want to exaggerate (or to come across as a pussy), but I think that without this series, I would have been crying most of that first week.
  
  I've always loved Jason Bateman--ever since as a young queer boy, I crushed hard on him as the lead in the short-lived It's Your Move. I think I even bought a novelization of an episode of that show from the elementery school book club--remember those? But it's not just Bateman that makes AD (as the Kids call it) brilliant: the entire cast is superb and the writing is funnier than anything I've seen on TV, INCLUDING The Simpsons (which is not easy for me to admit...). I mean, this is the show that featured guest appearances from Liza Minelli as a sex-starved widow with vertigo. And then there are the words and phrases that I can't stop repeating to my sister: nevernudes, Bob Loblaw's Law Blog, Motherboy, the dizzies, Anne Paul Veal, "Marry Me."
  
  At this point, there is no question that this is the best television series to air in the first decade of the 21C. There, I said it.
  
  
• Illinois by Sufjan Stevens: released in 2005, but Fosco didn't start listening to it until the beginning of 2006. It became particularly important to Fosco in November of this year (and, in fact, he is listening to it as he writes this). While Sufjan's Michigan disc was high-quality (and captivated Fosco because of home-state pride), Illinois is truly exceptional. How is it possible to write an achingly beautiful song about the life of John Wayne Gacy? Or a jaunty bluegrass ode to Decatur? Oh, and did I mention that he's hot?
  
  
• In-N-Out Burger: the West Coast institution, praised extravagantly by Fosco here.
  
  
• Kathy Griffin: I know, I know... This is so cliche: a homosexual who likes Kathy Griffin? Shocking. But, to tell the truth, I never really cared about her until I watched her My Life on the D-List. She's really so appealing and down-to-earth. And she tells such funny stories about Anna Nicole Smith and Gay Gaykin and his Gay-Mates.
  
  
• blogs: As 2006 was the year that Fosco launched this little project he likes to call Fosco Lives!, blogs were clearly an important influence on him this year. But which blogs? Almost every morning, Fosco gets his niche news from several outposts of the Nick Denton Empire, including Deadspin, Defamer, and Gawker. And Fosco never travels somewhere without researching Gridskipper for tips on where the cool kids hang out.
  
  More importantly for Fosco and Fosco Lives! however, are two personal blogs: Ted Gideonse's The Gideonse Bible and John Mackey's blog at OstiMusic. These two blogs have served as inspirations for what Fosco Lives! can be and I read them religiously (which is really the only way to read a Bible). Merci, gentleman for a great year of blogging.
  
  
• John McPhee on geology: his Pulitzer-Prize-winning Annals of the Former World served as Fosco's guidebook as he drove from Michigan to Santa Cruz along I-80 this summer, stopping along the way to pick up rocks. You can read about Fosco's adventures along the way in the Fosco Lives! Archives here and here.
  
  
• "The Nietzsche Family Circus": I have literally spent hours on this website this fall. It cheers me up whenever I'm down. Who would have thought that pairing a random Nietzsche aphorism with a random "Family Circus" cartoon would be the best thing ever? I've permalinked to some of my favorites here, here, and here. Oh God, I'm laughing too hard...
  
  
• Matthew Barney's Drawing Restraint 9: Fosco saw this art film three times, despite it running three-ish hours. Do yourself a favor and watch the trailer. Then read Fosco's earlier review.
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan and her vulva (SFW). First, I would like to explain why I refuse to participate in the popular convention of referring to pictures like these (NSFW) as pix of Lindsay Lohan's vagina. I may be a homosexual who hasn't touched a woman's vagina in like five years (or so), but I did take Health Class in Junior High and I think what we are looking at is actually Lindsay Lohan's vulva.
  
  Whatever we are looking at, I'm pretty compelled by it. Not the vulva per se, but the idea that a popular teen star would regularly flash her privates to the paparazzi. This plus her drinking problems, her barely literate emails, and her strange belief that she will be aided by Al Gore, make her the most fascinating case of pub(l)ic self-destruction I've seen. Britney (NSFW) is a total amateur compared to Lindsay. The way I see it, Lindsay is one marriage to a homosexual (does she know Clay Aiken?) away from becoming the Judy Garland of this generation. And I can't wait to see what degradation is yet to come!
  

Boyfriend in my stocking

I'm pretty sure that Santa is planning on bringing me a boyfriend this Christmas. I mean, after all, I haven't had one this year. And, I totally deserve one and stuff. Not to mention that I was in a horrible car accident last week (Mica, you WHORE!). So, clearly there should be a high-quality boyfriend in my stocking tomorrow morning.

Of course, the question then becomes "Which boyfriend?" Who should Santa bring me to massage my aching neck and to count out my remaining percocet (hint: not enough)? I would suggest that Santa use the following list as a place to start (although, if he must shop off list, I would take a Gyllenhaal, I suppose). Here are some options, in alphabetical order.

• Gideon Defoe. Pros: a witty author of hilarious books about pirates (and everyone loves pirates!), kinda hunky in a British way, has a very sexy first name (and last name for that matter). Cons: is the kind of author that my more serious friends might giggle about behind his back, may have traditional British commitment phobia, may not be willing to move to Santa Cruz.
  
  
• Dave Eggers. Pros: one of the most talented contemporary authors, committed to writing instruction for underprivileged youth, runs an independent pirate-supply store, friends with famous and influential literary types (including David Byrne), from the Midwest originally (like me!). Cons: painfully sensitive could equal high maintenance, may be a little too clever, did once try out to be on MTV's "The Real World," constant feeling of inadequacy that I am not funny enough to be dating him, currently lives in Brooklyn (I think).
  
  
  
• Justin Hartley. Pros: plays "Green Arrow" on Smallville and plans to organize a Justice League, starred in the ill-fated Aquaman pilot (why is this a pro? how can you not love a man who has played TWO superheroes!), has a criminally-delicious torso, would be excellent arm-candy for Literature Department Holiday parties, luscious smile. Cons: ummm, dating an actor? It would be fun and sexy and all, but do you think we'll talk much about Heidegger? On the other hand, I would like to like all that hair on his chest...
  
  
• David Lat. Pros: he was my college roommate and so we know each other well, we're both internet personalities (of one sort or another), we successfully tested our sexual compatibility during sophomore year. Cons: he's pretty weirdly conservative, and a lawyer, and won't reply to my emails. Also, he has this strange romantic fixation on closeted-sodomite Nino Scalia.
  
  
• Alex Ross. Pros: he writes my favorite column for the New Yorker and does my favorite music blog, he's a graduate of my alma mater, he hangs out with Matthew Barney and Bjork, and he always has something intelligent to write. Cons: Hmmm. I'm a bit stumped here. Is it possible that we were meant to be the perfect couple? Alex Ross, will you marry me?
  
  
  
• Sufjan Stevens. Pros: he's the darling of adult-contemporary-indie music, he lived only miles away from me in Holland, Michigan, his music is ambitious, brilliant, and moving, he's a total hunk and yet seems completely genuine. Cons: he seems to be some sort of silly born-again Christian. And that's basically a dealbreaker.
  
  
• Jeff Samardzija. Pros: he may be the best wide receiver in Notre Dame history, his nickname is "Shark," he will be drafted by an NFL team next spring and has already been drafted by the Chicago Cubs baseball organization. Oh, and have you seen him? Oh my. Cons: there might be a smidgen of an age difference between us, it's hard to be professional athlete with a gay boyfriend, no one could spell our hyphenated surname.
  

I know it's only 7 pm (PST), but I'm going to bed--I can't wait to see which hunk is waiting for me in my stocking tomorrow morning!

Gratitude Journal

What are you thankful for? Fosco tries not to be too thankful, because well, Oprah seems to think it's a good idea... (and that's a good enough reason to avoid it). But, if Fosco has to make a list of what he is thankful for, this is it:

• the 99-cent monster taco from Jack in the Box
  
• the new Thomas Pynchon novel--I can't wait for Holiday Break to read it!
  
• "Veronica Mars"--if you aren't watching, you're a loser. Even if (like someone who will remain nameless) Kristen Bell reminds you of a muppet.
  
• the word "macaca"
  
• Eiswein (Hint: this was a special Thanksgiving treat today at Fosco's dinner...)
  

Happy Thanksgiving from Santa Cruz.