Four Excuses

Fosco recently hinted that he has been a busy little bee for the last six months and promised to tell you what he was doing instead of blogging. He's already offered two excuses . In the interests of not dragging this out, here are all of the other things that prevented Fosco from blogging for most of this year:

• in the past, Fosco has occasionally complained about being single. Well, somehow the previously unlovable Fosco has found himself a boyfriend. For our purposes here at Fosco Lives!, we're going to call him "Ozias Midwinter" or "Oz" for short. Oz is (if you'll permit me to say) quite adorable. He hails originally from the Sandwich Islands. He works at the corporate headquarters of a trendy company located somwhere between San Jose and San Francisco (psst: it's not MMM Carpets. Mmm... carpets...). He is fun and things are going really well. Oh, and he thinks blogs are pretentious and narcissistic. Well, yeah.
  
  
• Fosco's a little embarrassed about this one... but he got himself a Second Life. You've maybe heard of Second Life: that virtual "game" where you just sort of live a life instead of actually going on a quest or something. For gay men in Second Life, this means three activities: sex, dancing, and shopping. (Wait, is that just Second Life?) Fosco is proud to say that, while he did indeed explore the Big Three, he has moved toward a more productive second life: as the owner and curator of a contemporary art gallery! Apparently, that's what Fosco would be doing if he lived in a world (like Second Life) in which books and food are totally irrelevant. Right now, Fosco's gallery is showing works by artist-of-the-moment Jeff Wall. I'll probably blog more about Second Life at some point in the future.
  
  
• since discovering Arrested Development during my recovery from The Accident, I've been hooked. In my spare time over the past eight months, I have managed to watch the entire series (two and two thirds seasons) FIVE TIMES. Five whole times! It's heaven... for crazy people.
  
  
• here's a time waster extraordinaire: Facebook! As an old-timer Harvardian, Fosco remembers when the facebook was a book. It was called the Freshman Facebook and it was sent out to all members of the firstyear class the summer before they arrived at Harvard (or did they give it to us at orientation? Well, whichever.). It had the high school pictures of every member of the firstyear class. It was indexed by first name! It told you where each student was from and which freshman dorm he or she lived in. It was the perfect guide to getting to know one's classmates.
  
  The online version is useful for different reasons: it's a great way to catch up with your old friends, you can explore your social networks, and the interface is very clean and fun and appealing. It doesn't look cheap and vulgar like MySpace. Here's the key to Facebook: Facebook is the Target to MySpace's WalMart. And who doesn't love Target?

Boyfriend in my stocking

I'm pretty sure that Santa is planning on bringing me a boyfriend this Christmas. I mean, after all, I haven't had one this year. And, I totally deserve one and stuff. Not to mention that I was in a horrible car accident last week (Mica, you WHORE!). So, clearly there should be a high-quality boyfriend in my stocking tomorrow morning.

Of course, the question then becomes "Which boyfriend?" Who should Santa bring me to massage my aching neck and to count out my remaining percocet (hint: not enough)? I would suggest that Santa use the following list as a place to start (although, if he must shop off list, I would take a Gyllenhaal, I suppose). Here are some options, in alphabetical order.

• Gideon Defoe. Pros: a witty author of hilarious books about pirates (and everyone loves pirates!), kinda hunky in a British way, has a very sexy first name (and last name for that matter). Cons: is the kind of author that my more serious friends might giggle about behind his back, may have traditional British commitment phobia, may not be willing to move to Santa Cruz.
  
  
• Dave Eggers. Pros: one of the most talented contemporary authors, committed to writing instruction for underprivileged youth, runs an independent pirate-supply store, friends with famous and influential literary types (including David Byrne), from the Midwest originally (like me!). Cons: painfully sensitive could equal high maintenance, may be a little too clever, did once try out to be on MTV's "The Real World," constant feeling of inadequacy that I am not funny enough to be dating him, currently lives in Brooklyn (I think).
  
  
  
• Justin Hartley. Pros: plays "Green Arrow" on Smallville and plans to organize a Justice League, starred in the ill-fated Aquaman pilot (why is this a pro? how can you not love a man who has played TWO superheroes!), has a criminally-delicious torso, would be excellent arm-candy for Literature Department Holiday parties, luscious smile. Cons: ummm, dating an actor? It would be fun and sexy and all, but do you think we'll talk much about Heidegger? On the other hand, I would like to like all that hair on his chest...
  
  
• David Lat. Pros: he was my college roommate and so we know each other well, we're both internet personalities (of one sort or another), we successfully tested our sexual compatibility during sophomore year. Cons: he's pretty weirdly conservative, and a lawyer, and won't reply to my emails. Also, he has this strange romantic fixation on closeted-sodomite Nino Scalia.
  
  
• Alex Ross. Pros: he writes my favorite column for the New Yorker and does my favorite music blog, he's a graduate of my alma mater, he hangs out with Matthew Barney and Bjork, and he always has something intelligent to write. Cons: Hmmm. I'm a bit stumped here. Is it possible that we were meant to be the perfect couple? Alex Ross, will you marry me?
  
  
  
• Sufjan Stevens. Pros: he's the darling of adult-contemporary-indie music, he lived only miles away from me in Holland, Michigan, his music is ambitious, brilliant, and moving, he's a total hunk and yet seems completely genuine. Cons: he seems to be some sort of silly born-again Christian. And that's basically a dealbreaker.
  
  
• Jeff Samardzija. Pros: he may be the best wide receiver in Notre Dame history, his nickname is "Shark," he will be drafted by an NFL team next spring and has already been drafted by the Chicago Cubs baseball organization. Oh, and have you seen him? Oh my. Cons: there might be a smidgen of an age difference between us, it's hard to be professional athlete with a gay boyfriend, no one could spell our hyphenated surname.
  

I know it's only 7 pm (PST), but I'm going to bed--I can't wait to see which hunk is waiting for me in my stocking tomorrow morning!

Vows

I don't normally read the "Weddings and Celebrations" section of the Sunday New York Times because, well, I don't like to read about happy people and when those happy people are also fabulously wealthy or quite successful... Well, let's just say that Fosco needs some extra happy pills to make it through the rest of the day.

But, despite the usual envy, I also was moved by today's article about the anniversary of Adam Berger and Stephen Frank.

One of the reasons for my emotion is that I was slightly acquainted with Steve Frank in college (although he knew my roommate much better). And, strangely enough, the fact that he came out after college never made it back to my ears in the last ten years (maybe because he wasn't actually in my class--he was a year or two ahead). As I recall, he was actually a bit conservative (although maybe only economically).

The years since college have been an especially interesting time for me, as I have watched classmate after classmate (including myself) come out as gay. In college, I lived with five other guys and all of us were supposedly straight. Now, at last count, three of us are out and, even though the remaining ones are married or seriously dating women, I'm not going to rule out another surprise (Dr. H****?)

I can't speak for Steve Frank (after all, things seem to have turned out well for him) or for my college roommates, but I still, after ten years, am envious of my peers who were out in college. I think one of the reasons for this envy is that (at least for me) high school and college were the periods of my life in which I had the closest relationships to other men. The college and high school friendships I had with men were really intense and very powerful. But, because I was closeted (and so were so many of my friends), we never got the chance to explore whether that intense friendship could admit/recognize an erotic element. I rarely develop friendships that intense anymore (after all, people in their late 20s/early 30s are busy and tend to be more isolated), and I doubt that any romantic relationship that I have in the future will develop out of a pre-existing friendship.

I think I could have had amazing romantic relationships with several of my male friends from the past, but (at this point) it's maybe kinda too late (although, to some extent, this blog is an extended love letter to one or two of them). The timing for Adam and Steve (*giggle*)seems to have been perfect and that makes me both happy and envious. Mazel tov to them!