A Big Cuddly Hecatomb

From yesterday's Huffington Post, this headline:

Actually, I'm not sure whether this is a headline or a threat--you know: "Give me the briefcase or cute animals will have to die."

Apparently, the linked article is all about how most of the pro-environment behaviors that make the bourgeoisie feel less guilty will be entirely insufficient to prevent bad, bad things from happening (and, in fact, some of those behaviors are actually surprisingly counterproductive). It's the kind of article that someone like The BeeMaster would love, but Fosco is actually more interested in speculating about the deaths of cute animals. Like, for instance, do we get to choose which cute animals die?

I already know that Mere would willingly sacrifice pandas for an ice cream cone. But let's up the stakes a little: which cute animal(s) would be willing to sacrifice in order to stop global warming? Of course, in some sense, there might not be much of a choice: extreme global warming might kill all the cute animals anyway. But, think about it this way: which cute animals won't you miss?

Personally, I think I am willing to give up zebras, lions, raccoons, wolves, and kangaroos. I would be sad about moose and mountain goats, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. I would really miss black bears and the pretty-colored songbirds. And sea otters are entirely non-negotiable.

Oh megafauna, why must you be so charismatic?