Umbrella Drinks and Other Nightmares

We have clearly established that "Foodie Friday" can involve drinks.

A very entertaining post in this week's NYTimes alcohol blog. Anna Fricke considers all of the self-presentational concerns that go into choosing a signature cocktail. As Fricke notes, she wishes she could drink something other than what she does drink:

If I had my druthers, I would probably drink strawberry daiquiris all the time. But I don’t. Sure, they’re delicious. But the strawberry daiquiri is a youthful drink, the drink of a girl on spring break in Cabo. Much like skinny jeans and Flashdance tops, I can’t pull it off anymore. These days, I am compelled by circumstances to act my age and order a nice Bordeaux and pretend I know what I’m talking about.

In fact, Fricke sums it up nicely:

If I had to guess, I’d say that many of us aren’t drinking what we’d truly like to drink.

She chalks all of this self-denial up to all of the social pressures that have sprung up around alcohol. There are clearly "adult" drinks. There are clearly "cool" drinks. Neither strawberry daiquiris nor Zima would fall into either category. And because most of our drinking occurs in the presence of other people (real or imagined), we end up ordering things like Scotch or dirty martinis that seem adult but that many of us don't really like all that much.

Fosco will cop to some of this self-presentation, of course. He doesn't like martinis (of any variety) but will occasionally order one under extreme duress. His interest in wine is almost non-existent, but he still pretends to read wine lists carefully at the nicer restaurants (and to make informed decisions based on something other than price).

However, Fosco is lucky that several of his preferred beverages are actually both "adult" and "cool." Thanks to his partial Irish heritage, Fosco has a taste for whiskeys (although he actually prefers Scotch)--no fakery needed there. And luckily, if Fosco could only drink one alcoholic beverage for the rest of his life, it would be the perfectly respectable gin and tonic.

In fact, Fosco is in the happy position of a complete coincidence between the hedonic and self-presentational aspects of his "signature cocktail." Hedonism: he loves the taste of gin and tonic above all other drinks. Self-presentation: he likes what a preference for G&Ts says about him. What exactly, you may ask, does a G&T say about someone? I'm glad you asked:

• Slightly traditional? Check.
  
• Intertwined with British history? Check.
  
• Possibility for some snob appeal (different brands of gin), without going overboard? Check.
  
• Mild historical association with dissolution? Check.
  
• Threat of colonial violence? Check.

I think we have a winner!

When it comes down to it, though, life is too short to be drinking a cocktail that you don't like. Obviously, people should feel free to order their favorite drinks regardless of what other people think. Of course, Fosco will still make merciless fun of anyone who orders a Cosmopolitan in his presence.