Monday, September 03, 2007

Alternative Mindset List

Every fall, Beloit College publishes its Mindset List, attempting to capture the life experience of the incoming first-year college students to a much older faculty. This year's list assumes that the future Class of 2011er was born in 1989. In previous years, Fosco has found this list to be moderately interesting, in a "damn I'm old!" kind of way.

This year's list is quite disappointing. For example, look at #4: incoming firstyears "never 'rolled down' a car window." Really? Fosco was still driving a car with manual windows until 2002. What cars were these kids riding in? And as for #58 ("They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper."), I don't think that's limited to just 18-yr-olds. Fosco has gone through long periods of time when that was true for him. And he refuses to be ashamed of that fact.

Count Fosco would like to offer some additions to the list. For the Class of 2011:

  1. "George Bush" is a popular name for presidents.
  2. Zebra mussels have always lived in the Great Lakes.
  3. The hypothetical actions of Jesus have been a source of curiosity.
  4. There's only been one war in Afghanistan.
  5. Wrigley Field has always had night games.
  6. The Olsen Twins have always been sexually intriguing.
  7. Tacos have always been a popular dinner option.
  8. Kirstie Alley has always weighed more than fifty pounds.
  9. Everyone has made out with (or will make out with) someone named Jessica, Ashley, or Brittany.
  10. The Pope has always been an old white man.
  11. Queer theory has always existed.
  12. Candles have always been scented.
  13. Hooking up is a popular way to show affection.
  14. Corpses have always been comedy gold.

Yikes. Who are these kids?

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