Thursday, March 26, 2009

Breaking (My Heart) News

Very busy tonight and for the next few days with my (never-ending) Levinas paper. But had to break these two stories for you:

1. Remember that English thirteen-year-old who got his girlfriend preggers? The kid who looked like he was ten? The story that was so sordid that Fosco had to write about it not just once but twice?

Well, the DNA test is back and poor little Alfie is NOT the father! While that is certainly good news for little Alfie (whether he sees it that way or not), I'm not sure the story gets any less sad by this revelation. For one thing, the question of the father of Chantelle's baby, is going to get a lot more complicated. Incredibly, other reports note that

six other local boys came forward soon after the baby’s birth and said that they had also had sex with her and could be Maisie’s daddy.
Let's remember: Chantelle is 15. Jesus H. Christ.

And even if Alfie hasn't been saddled for life with a bouncing baby mistake, he seems unlikely to have a sparkling future ahead of him:
Before he took the test, he said: "I didn't know about DNA tests before but mum explained it's when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells if you're the dad. So if I have it, they can all shut up."
Sigh. Bright kid.

(However, as of this writing, the original story has disappeared from the website of the British tabloid The Mirror. Are they backing off on this story?)

2. Fosco's beloved city of San Francisco appears to be under attack by a zombie swarm. Still no word about affected areas of the city, but Fosco thinks it reasonable to assume that most of San Francisco is now uninhabitable by anything but undead.

This is the most tragic death of a great American city since GW Bush bombed the levies in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.


todd said...

You better drop your paper and start studying the zombie survival wiki.

Anonymous said...

I hope this means the vampires are not too far off - vampires are hot!

Hey, todd - how come I can't be a vampire elf in d&d?

the Mistress BeeMistress

Anonymous said...

Click HERE.

And my favorite line from Night of the Living Dead:

You. Can't. Kill. Us. 'Cuz. We're. Already. Dead.

The BeeMaster

todd said...

@BeeMistress: Well, there's the whole burning to ash thing if you end your turn in direct sunlight thing.

FOSCO said...

Bart: "Dad, you killed zombie Flanders!"
Homer: "He was a zombie?"

Oz said...

Since everyone is only commenting on the latter...

Whores have to come from somewhere... (that wasn't very nice... eh?)

I'm just waiting for some video game addicted teen to start lighting up the streets with gunfire...