Reformation Bait

Catholicism just keeps getting weirder (well, not special underwear weird, but close). It seems that the Pope has revived that old medieval curio, Madonna the Papal Indulgence. If the term sounds vaguely familiar and slightly sketchy, you might be remembering your Lutheranism. Apparently, opposition to the sale of Papal Indulgences was one of the sticking points for Martin Louis the King Jr. Martin Luther in that whole Reformation thing. Well, now indulgences are back--and just as powerful as ever!

According to this article in the Times, the Catholic Church has quietly begun to offer indulgences to its congregation. Essentially, an indulgence offers a reduction of punishment in Purgatory. As the Times notes:

According to church teaching, even after sinners are absolved in the confessional and say their Our Fathers or Hail Marys as penance, they still face punishment after death, in Purgatory, before they can enter heaven. In exchange for certain prayers, devotions or pilgrimages in special years, a Catholic can receive an indulgence, which reduces or erases that punishment instantly, with no formal ceremony or sacrament.

There are partial indulgences, which reduce purgatorial time by a certain number of days or years, and plenary indulgences, which eliminate all of it, until another sin is committed. You can get one for yourself, or for someone who is dead. You cannot buy one — the church outlawed the sale of indulgences in 1567 — but charitable contributions, combined with other acts, can help you earn one. There is a limit of one plenary indulgence per sinner per day.

It has no currency in the bad place.

Before we talk more about the theology here, I have to think about that last sentence. What an amazingly cryptic statement! I can't believe the Times editors let that line stay in the final copy. What could it mean? Is "the bad place" hell? (And lest you think that the sentence is merely the topic sentence of a longer, more explanatory paragraph, allow me to assure you that the final sentence stands alone in the article as its own complete paragraph. How odd!)

So let's get the theology straight here: even if you confess a sin and are absolved, you will still be punished for that sin in Purgatory. Unless you manage to gain a plenary indulgence, which buys you out of that purgatory time. And the person who decides if you get to skip purgatory is some creepy geriatric like Pope Cowboy XVI here? Hmmm. Who comes up with this stuff?

Not to mention that there appears to be fine print:

• offer only good until next sin.
  
• limit one coupon per customer per day.
  

And people wonder why Fosco is an atheist. Does any of this actually sound like the will of a supernatural being? Or does it sound more like the cheap thrills of an authoritarian bureaucratic apparatus?

Delusional Mania: Blago v. West

Strangely enough, it is an open question who has brought more joy to Fosco over the last two weeks: Barack Obama (President) or Rod Blagojevich. On the one hand, Obama has made history for African-Americans, led the country back to its true moral values, and spread hope to pretty much everyone. On the other hand, Rod Blagojevich has

• quoted Victorian poetry.
  
• threatened to appoint Oprah to the Senate.
  
• compared himself to Gandhi, Dr. King, and Mandela.
  
• called himself the "Anti-Nixon."
  
• appeared on "The View", sounding less crazy than moronic Palinista Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Actually, after watching Blago's Rachel Maddow interview last night, Fosco has become a full-scale Blagophile. This guy is like a ray of sunshine in the dark winter of Fosco's discontent. Seriously, this guy's media blitz has been the most fun Fosco has had with television since he got too old for "The Electric Company." He may be "Blagojevich" to you, but to me, he will always be "Governor Sunshine."

I've just never seen anyone who is so politically savvy and so self-aggrandizingly delusional. Well, maybe Sarah Palin comes close. But Blago is just so much more fun to watch! And he can speak in complete sentences (paragraphs, even)! And the chutzpah! To claim that he is being impeached for being too much of a progressive populist. This is the boldest public relations strategy that I could ever imagine. I am thankful every day that he hasn't listened to a word of his lawyer's advice. It takes an amazing man to be so guilty and yet to make me feel sad that he's going to jail (when he's behind bars, who will say the crazy?). You know what I want? A made-for-TV movie: "Executive Privilege: The Rod Blagojevich Story." Oh, and I want him to write a book. Now.

Luckily, while Blago's in the big house, we may be able to count on Kanye West to take up some of the slack in public insanity. Have you seen this unsurpassedly strange little video?


A message from kwest on Vimeo.

I can't decide which part I like best. Is it when he says that he has been forced to change his name to "Martin ‘Louis’ The King Jr." and demands that you "address me as such"? Or is it when he says "I don't know the name of that champagne--it just came with the room"? Or is it the beginning, when he pretends to look up and be surprised by the camera? (Big Ups to Oz for passing this along to me.) Oh Martin "Louis" King Jr., you are working so hard to cheer me up!

UPDATE: The inimitable kungfuramone has diagnosed why Kanye's ramblings are so funny. Check it out!