Golden Delicious

"Foodie Friday" continues here at Fosco Lives!

This past week was the annual Bocuse d'Or competition in Lyon, France--a sort of "culinary Olympics" for the best French-style chefs in the world. The competition is named for legendary French chef Paul Bocuse, who with typical Gallic modesty, also lends his name to the eponymous award. Interestingly, the literal translation of bocuse d'or is "golden narcissist," which seems appropriate when you see the winner's trophy:

Yes, that is the actual figure of Paul Bocuse standing atop the globe. In gold. This guy makes Donald Trump look like Mother Teresa.

But despite Bocuse's Rick Warren-like self-regard, the competition is still a deadly serious event, with many European countries following it as closely as sporting competitions. The competition takes place over two days and is something of an endurance test. Each country that participates is allowed one team, led by one chef. This year, the American chef was Timothy Hollingsworth, the sous-chef at the best restaurant in the US, Thomas Keller's French Laundry in Napa. Hollingsworth won the privilege last September and has worked full-time since then with his team to prepare for the competition. Like I said, this is serious.

The New York Times covered this year's competition quite well (how will we live when they no longer exist?). You can watch this short video explaining the competition and describing its strange football-game atmosphere.

If you prefer your culinary competitions to have a bit of a Top Chef twist, then you will definitely appreciate this report from the competition that describes how the first day's ingredient (Norwegian prawns) were given to the chefs frozen. As the Times notes,

“It was the surprise of the day!” said Christian Têtedoie, a member of the official organizing committee, who once won the Meilleur Ouvrier de France, considered the most prestigious cooking award in France. He offered no other comment except to shrug his shoulders, tap his clipboard and walk away.

Eek! What would Tom and Padma say?

The good news is that, unlike previous years, all of the chefs lived through the ordeal. The bad news (for rabidly patriotic Americans like Fosco) is that the American chef, Mr. Hollingsworth, came in sixth. The winner was Norway. Or Sweden. Or something like that. Luckily, you can read about why Mr. Hollingsworth failed. It turns out there was a minor snafu with plating (I told you this thing is serious):

“It was very difficult to plate the fish,” he added. “This was the first time I was with these servers, it was very difficult. They were working a different way from the way I’m used to working.”

He said he was used to plating all the dishes for one course at one time, but his servers at the competition did it in sets of four.

Nor did things go any better for the home team:

The biggest disappointment was felt by France. Philippe Mille, the 34-year-old Frenchman who is the sous-chef at the three-star Paris restaurant Le Meurice, was a strong candidate, and many expected him to win. But his fish dish came out a minute late, which cost the French team 12 points in the scoring.

Sadly, M. Mille will now be deported to Belgium.

Delusional Mania: Blago v. West

Strangely enough, it is an open question who has brought more joy to Fosco over the last two weeks: Barack Obama (President) or Rod Blagojevich. On the one hand, Obama has made history for African-Americans, led the country back to its true moral values, and spread hope to pretty much everyone. On the other hand, Rod Blagojevich has

• quoted Victorian poetry.
  
• threatened to appoint Oprah to the Senate.
  
• compared himself to Gandhi, Dr. King, and Mandela.
  
• called himself the "Anti-Nixon."
  
• appeared on "The View", sounding less crazy than moronic Palinista Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Actually, after watching Blago's Rachel Maddow interview last night, Fosco has become a full-scale Blagophile. This guy is like a ray of sunshine in the dark winter of Fosco's discontent. Seriously, this guy's media blitz has been the most fun Fosco has had with television since he got too old for "The Electric Company." He may be "Blagojevich" to you, but to me, he will always be "Governor Sunshine."

I've just never seen anyone who is so politically savvy and so self-aggrandizingly delusional. Well, maybe Sarah Palin comes close. But Blago is just so much more fun to watch! And he can speak in complete sentences (paragraphs, even)! And the chutzpah! To claim that he is being impeached for being too much of a progressive populist. This is the boldest public relations strategy that I could ever imagine. I am thankful every day that he hasn't listened to a word of his lawyer's advice. It takes an amazing man to be so guilty and yet to make me feel sad that he's going to jail (when he's behind bars, who will say the crazy?). You know what I want? A made-for-TV movie: "Executive Privilege: The Rod Blagojevich Story." Oh, and I want him to write a book. Now.

Luckily, while Blago's in the big house, we may be able to count on Kanye West to take up some of the slack in public insanity. Have you seen this unsurpassedly strange little video?


A message from kwest on Vimeo.

I can't decide which part I like best. Is it when he says that he has been forced to change his name to "Martin ‘Louis’ The King Jr." and demands that you "address me as such"? Or is it when he says "I don't know the name of that champagne--it just came with the room"? Or is it the beginning, when he pretends to look up and be surprised by the camera? (Big Ups to Oz for passing this along to me.) Oh Martin "Louis" King Jr., you are working so hard to cheer me up!

UPDATE: The inimitable kungfuramone has diagnosed why Kanye's ramblings are so funny. Check it out!

Rick Warren Loves God. And Himself. Mostly Himself.

Pompous blowhard Pastor Rick Warren (who, as Fosco has noted, is only getting younger) has been laying low lately, hiding from the roaming gangs of gay bullies who want to prevent his Inaugural Invocation. Warren (seen at right, walking on water) has announced his reticence in a statement explaining that he plans to "let his [Inaugural] prayer speak for itself." That's all well and good, but what else of interest does his statement say?

Well, in case you had doubts, Fosco can assure you that Rick Warren's self-esteem remains intact. As he notes in his statement:

his desire is that his prayer and preaching can be pastoral and that he and President-elect Obama can model civility as men of consequence in these difficult times. [emphasis added]

Wow, somebody sure likes himself. A lot. And it certainly does put all those gays of inconsequence in their place.

You know, it's not like he even needed the phrase "as men of consequence" for the sentence to make sense or read well; but, it's like he couldn't resist

1. equating himself with Obama.
   
2. bragging about his own importance.

Oh Rick, doesn't your bible tell you that the meek shall inherit?