Santa Cruz Trivialities

This was a big week in news here in Santa Cruz. What did you miss by not living here (other than sun and surf)? I'm glad you asked.

• After a series of horrifying attacks on UCSC biomedical researchers last fall, four animal rights activists were finally indicted this week (including at least one UCSC graduate). You may recall that one of the attacks involved the four mask-wearing activists shaking the door of a researcher's home during a child's birthday party; when the researcher's husband opened the door, they hit him on the arm and yelled "We're gonna get you." So naturally, the defense here is free speech. Wait, what? Yes, apparently it was all free speech:
  

  Khajavi was the only defendant to speak at the rally. Reading from a prepared statement, the 20-year-old UC Santa Cruz graduate said she has never been in trouble before and is only being punished for trying to express her point of view.
  
  "I'm a victim of free speech suppression," she said.
  
  [...]
  
  Well-known civil rights lawyer Tony Serra, who is representing Khajavi, said his client and the other defendants are idealist kids whose free-speech rights are being curtailed. Punishing youth for dissenting leads to the downfall of a society, Serra said.
  
  "We represent the voice of tomorrow," he said.

  Which may be true: especially if the voice of tomorrow is threatening, masked, and (frankly) not too bright. Actually, maybe that is the voice of tomorrow. While Fosco has complex and ambivalent feelings about biomedical research that involves animals, he does know one thing: what these activists did is not protected speech. And, in all likelihood, they have set back their own cause.
  
  
• Hey, remember that HBO show where all the characters had sex and stuff? That doesn't narrow it down? Well, remember the one about sex therapy that had like old people doing it and stuff? It was called "Tell Me You Love Me," remember? Fosco saw an episode once and it was, ummm, not exactly very sexy--which I guess was the point. However, Fosco did recognize one of the leads, Adam Scott, from his appearance as the hip seducer teacher in one episode of "Veronica Mars." And while seeing Adam Scott masturbate into a cup on "Tell Me You Love Me" really didn't float Fosco's boat, he does think Scott is a somewhat appealing actor. Well, it turns out that Scott is a lead in some new series on Starz (as if Fosco will ever watch that--he's never even heard of that channel!); but more interestingly, Adam Scott is originally from Santa Cruz. As the Sentinel article notes:
  

  Scott, who turns 36 in April, first moved to Hollywood from Santa Cruz in the early 1990s fresh out of high school. He now looks back in wonder at the blind optimism and naivete that sustained him in those early days.
  
  "If I had known then that it would be 2009 before I started actually feeling the repercussions of success, I would have moved back to Santa Cruz a long time ago."

  You go, Adam. Reprazent!
  
  
• Finally, you may have heard that Northern California is in a bit of drought. Well, now it's official: there will be water restrictions in Santa Cruz this summer. That sounds bad, right? Fosco was very discouraged by the headline, picturing a summer filled with two-minute showers and toilets full of unflushed urine. But then he actually read the article. Guess what "water restrictions" means?
  

  According to a proposal from the Santa Cruz Water Department, about 90,000 county residents served by the agency could be limited to watering on two assigned days of the week, and only before 10 a.m. and after 5 p.m. beginning May 1. Days of the week have not been assigned, but all residential customers should have one weekend day on which to water, said Toby Goddard, the district's conservation manager. Commercial customers also will be restricted.

  Considering that Fosco lives in an apartment, this will have exactly NO effect on his life this summer. Water restrictions? Bring 'em on!
  
  It does raise another question, though. If water is scarce in NorCal (and it is), why don't we always have such obvious commonsense restrictions on lawn watering? And who are the idiots watering the grass at noon every day of the week?

America's Most Backward State: Oklahoma!

Last week, Fosco was outraged by the head of the Texas State Board of Education and his love for a book that claims to disprove evolution. Because what kind of state allows that kind of moron to be in charge of education? Well, then Oklahoma had to go one better (thereby winning the appellation "America's Most Backward State").

As Fosco's favorite cyber-crusader, Jonathan Turley, notes:

It appears that Oklahoma legislators are continuing their attempted crackdown on University of Oklahoma for the outrage of allowing evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins of Oxford University speak to its students. After proposing two resolutions denouncing the scheduled appearance, legislators are now demanding answers about the funding and communications with Dawkins.

For those of you who don't know, Richard Dawkins is one of the foremost evolutionary biologists. His writings on evolution for a popular audience are well-written and impeccably reasoned. He is one of the most persuasive theorists of evolution (and a frequent critic of creationism and religious fundamentalism). He is also, by any conceivable measurement, smarter and better educated that every single member of the Oklahoma State Legislature (or does that go without saying?). Oh, and if the above photo is to be believed, he is Buffy's Watcher.

But because some morons aren't happy unless they're fucking things up for everyone else, Oklahoma State Representative Rebecca Hamilton (apparently, in some sort of bizarro Oklahoma universe, a Democrat) tried to force the University to cancel Dawkins's speech. Dawkins was invited to speak to celebrate Darwin's 200th birthday. Hamilton (who is most certainly not a LILF and, as far as Fosco can tell, probably did descend from monkeys) first tried to squelch Dawkins's speech with two resolutions, one of which contained this paragraph:

WHEREAS, not only has the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma been engaged in one-sided indoctrination of an unproven and unpopular theory but has made an effort to brand all thinking in dissent of this theory as anti-intellectual and backward rather than nurturing such free thinking and allowing a free discussion of all ideas which is the primary purpose of a university;

The "unproven and unpopular" part is certainly a hoot. Even if that were true (outside of Ms. Hamilton's church, that is), should we really be making decisions about scientific veracity based on popularity? As for making dissent seem "anti-intellectual and backward," I don't really think the Department of Zoology needs to do much work--Ms. Hamilton has done a good job of making her own dissent seem both anti-intellectual and backward (not to mention petty).

But because the University decided NOT to cave in to Ms. Hamilton's demands that they cancel Professor Dawkins's talk, she's moved on to Plan B: hound the OU administration to the extent that future "controversial" speakers don't seem worth the hassle. As Jonathan Turley notes:

Hamilton has reportedly demanded information relating to the speech from Vice President for Governmental Relations Danny Hilliard, including a list of all money paid to Dawkins and the entities, public or private, the total cost to the university, and an account of any “faculty time spent promoting this event.”

One can only imagine how she intends to use this information. However, I don't think you need to be a strict fundamentalist about academic freedom to recognize that a legislator has absolutely no business inquiring into the scholarly pursuits of any member of the university faculty (including any time they spend "promoting" an academic event). This is a blatantly transparent attempt to produce a chilling effect on scholarship at the University of Oklahoma (a place that, frankly, can use all the scholarship it can get).

I'm starting to think that, sometime in the last twenty years, large swaths of the American public (mostly, but not exclusively, in the "Bible belt") not only became complete idiots about science, but also lost track of what universities are supposed to do. Granted, beating Texas in football every year is an important goal for any institution of higher education; however, Oklahomans need to realize that there is actually a bit more involved in running a university. Nitwits.

submit to reddit

Are Pubes Making A Comeback?

Fosco has made clear his policy on pubic hair (hint: he likes it animal style). Whether it's women or men, Fosco just can't understand why anyone would want (to have or to touch) the genitals of a ten-year-old. Maybe I'm abnormal, but I like having sex with people who look like adults. And no, the irony that Fosco Lives! is the Google destination-of-choice for Koreans searching for "pubic hair shave" is not lost on him. But last week, for just a few days, it finally looked like someone may have gotten Fosco's message.

That's because, as you probably heard, New Jersey was considering a ban on Brazilian bikini waxing. Granted the ban would have been for health reasons, after two NJ women were hospitalized for infections from Brazilian waxes. And, in a sense, it wouldn't have been a new ban so much as enforcement against an already prohibited practice (genital waxing was never actually explicitly allowed in NJ, but regulators tended to look the other way). But still, it would clearly have been a victory for the forces of follicular rationality.

Of course, this is the kind of story that bad newspapers live for. And so naturally, Rupert Murdoch's New York Post had an early Christmas party. Here are some choice excerpts from their story:

The Garden State may be extra lush this summer.
[...]
Two women were recently hospitalized for infections stemming from no-follicle-left-behind procedure
[...]
But New Jersey spa owners say officials have no business legislating what women do with their Pine Barrens.

Now that's classy journalism! Why do I suspect that there were some pretty sexist lines in the original draft of this article? Because anything that has to do with female genitalia is inherently funny! Women have different genitals! Teehee! Actually, I'll admit I kinda laughed at the "Pine Barrens" line.

But terrible jokes about lady parts aren't the only examples of regrettable rhetoric that appeared in articles about this ban. Consider how cosmetologists, waxers, spa owners, etc. (who, by all accounts, would have lost huge sums of money under the ban) decided to cast the potential effects of the ban on their clients (as per this AP article):

"It's huge," [a salon owner] said, adding that her customers don't think their bikini lines are anyone's business but their own. "It's just not right."

She said many customers would likely travel across state lines to get it and some might even try to wax themselves.

Sound familiar? Yes, standard pro-choice abortion rhetoric has been redeployed to conjure up images of back-alley waxing and home waxes gone awry. Of course, Fosco is entirely sympathetic to this rhetoric when it's applied to abortion; however, there is something about using this argument to talk about bikini waxing that seems a bit trivializing--especially since this is not government telling women what to do with their pubic hair, but rather, the regulation of a specific voluntary hygienic procedure which may, under certain circumstances, be dangerous. Women are free to wax, pluck, or shave themselves however they want; this ban would only affect practitioners who charge for a certain kind of service. In Fosco's eyes, this ban has more in common with the regulation of tattoo parlors than it does with the regulation of a woman's right to choose abortion.

But alas, in the face of opposition from the powerful salon and spa lobby, the NJ ban is dead. We can all rest assured that women in NJ are still allowed to pay people to pull out all their pubic hair by the roots! Hooray! This is a fine day for feminism. Well, except for that part where Fosco suspects that Brazilian bikini waxing is one big male fantasy (and not a very savory one) in the first place.


[Actually, to be honest, Fosco didn't really understand the difference between Brazilian and other styles of bikini waxing until he researched for this post. Shouldn't he have learned all about that in health class? Luckily, Wikipedia has pictures!]

Image Credits. Fosco actually had fun picking out the images for this post. They are

• The album cover to Amorica by The Black Crowes.
  
• Treasure Trail (2003) by fabulous American artist Marilyn Minter.
  
• Bad Boy (1981) by the occasionally hilarious Eric Fischl. And yeah, that's probably like his mom.

submit to reddit

"Let's Go to the Phones... Anyone? Please?"

Here's your monthly Fosco Lives! update from the narrow, narrow world of sports.

Today's story is kinda sad, actually. The head basketball coach at one of Fosco's previous academic pitstops, the venereal venerable University of Virginia, has resigned after the team's worst season since the late 1960s. Yes, Mr. Jefferson's basketball coach, Dave Leitao, is finally done in Charlottesville. Leitao's tenure was hardly legendary, with a 63-60 record over four years.

But whatever, right? Why should you (or Fosco) care? Well, mainly because of this pathetic little nugget from the ESPN article (italics added for extra pathos):

The Cavaliers routinely trailed by double figures at halftime, even at John Paul Jones Arena, where they went 9-8, and fan interest waned as the team's difficulties continued. The $130 million arena, opened just three years ago, seats more than 14,000 for basketball, but drew an average of just over 10,000 this season. Apathy was more apparent during Leitao's weekly hourlong radio show, which more than once attracted no callers.

That's right: a weekly hourlong radio show with a Division IA head coach in a marquis sport that more than once attracted no callers.

While it's true that we're not talking about a basketball powerhouse like Duke or IU, UVa is still a member of the basketball-crazy Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC). And when Fosco was on campus (pre-Leitao), there was still some interest in what (even then) was a pretty mediocre basketball team. Fosco recalls walking past a dorm block one year during a UVa upset of Duke and hearing a giant synchronized cheer of celebration from hundreds of individual student rooms.

And now, six years later, the UVa basketball coach can hold an hourlong radio program and have no callers. That's the kind of thing that makes you feel sorry for the poor guy.

Well, except for the fact that, despite resigning, Leitao will still receive $2.1 million. I don't know what's next for Coach Leitao, but I think AIG might be his kind of place. Come to think of it, the American public has been getting hosed by "failure bonuses" for years: they're just usually called "buyouts" and tend to be given to underperforming coaches of college football and basketball. (And indeed, it is often taxpayers who foot the bill.)

Is it any wonder that Fosco never responds to UVa's fundraising requests?


submit to reddit

Things To Do With Your Otter In Chicago

When it's "Music Monday," Fosco encourages you to caress your favorite animal.

You may recall how Fosco feels about otters (particularly sea otters). Well, based on Fosco's otter affection, music hipster JennyT recently recommended the band Otter Petter. Although JennyT admitted that she

couldn't form an impression after just one song, other than that you might enjoy the name,

you can believe that Fosco was intrigued enough to pick up the whole CD. After all, a band that names itself after one of life's most rewarding activities must be worth listening to, right? Just like you would have to listen to music by any band named "Donut Licker" or "Tom Brady Fellator." But I digress...

Anyway, Otter Petter is a Chicago band that, by their own admission, blends Matthew Sweet with Death Cab For Cutie. Or, maybe we could just call them "indie pop." At any rate, it's sweet, it's sincere, and it's poppy. Falsetto is involved. And Fosco loves it.

You can listen to three of the (better) songs from their full-length debut album, Fireflies and Lamp Lights, here. I am particularly fond of "The Rest of the World."

Or, if you are a YouTube person (and don't mind sketchy sound quality), you can listen to "The Rest of the World" below, accompanied by occasional semi-relevant still pictures (you know the style...):



Otter Petter! How can you go wrong with a band named Otter Petter!

And please, if "otter petting" is some teen euphemism for something sexual, don't tell me.

submit to reddit

Wounding Your Cavaliers

It's Sunday and, if you are like me, you would like to see something beautiful.

I finds this strange Pre-Raphaelite painting to be oddly gorgeous. This is The Wounded Cavalier by the delightfully-named William Shakespeare Burton (1824-1916).

Although this was painted around 1855, the depicted scene is from the English Civil War. Personally, I think it's reasonable to read the painting allegorically; otherwise, I'm not sure how you explain the presence of the dour, Bible-holding Puritan who looks on disapprovingly. Oh Puritans, is there anything you don't hate? Also, an allegorical reading may help to account for such oddities as the broken blade stuck in the tree and the small butterfly that is perched on it. (But no, I'm not going to do the allegorical reading for you.) Also, why in the hell is there a tree running down the center of the painting? And why is the Puritan hiding behind it? These are the kinds of questions that, to my mind, make this a worthwhile painting.

As far as I can determine, this painting is in the permanent collection of the Guildhall Museum of Art in London (although it does not appear on their website). There is a smaller "study" for this painting in the Tate collection, although its colors are very different and it is (on the whole) much less appealing.

A note on the coloration. There are numerous images of this painting online and the colors are different in every one. As Fosco has never seen the original (nor is it, apparently, on display except by appointment), he has chosen the version that is most appealing to him. You may find this image to be a little "washed out," but Fosco much prefers the faint mist in this image to some of the gaudier versions.


submit to reddit

Saturday Story Hour: Roorbach on Love in Big Bend

This is your weekly dose of contemporary fiction. I call it "Saturday Story Hour."

This week, I'm inspired by Fosco Lives! reader Jill and her recent road trip into (what I imagine is called) the Big Bend country of Texas. Years ago, Fosco was floored by the 2002 collection of The O. Henry Prize Stories (seriously, if you can get a hold of it, it will be worth your while). One of the stories in that collection was called "Big Bend" by Bill Roorbach. At the time, Fosco had never heard of Bill Roorbach before. And, to be honest, he's never read anything by him since. Nor is "Big Bend" even the best story in that collection. However, there is just something about the story that has stuck with Fosco (going on seven years now).

When he read the story, Fosco had also never heard of Big Bend National Park. It's a huge national park that runs along the Texas-Mexico border, where the Rio Grande makes a very big bend (natch). It is extremely popular with birders, like Fosco's Aunt Merrill and Uncle Clark, because it's the home of dozens of species that are difficult to see anywhere else. And as for the terrain, the National Park Service notes:

Sometimes considered "three parks in one," Big Bend includes mountain, desert, and river environments. An hour’s drive can take you from the banks of the Rio Grande to a mountain basin nearly a mile high. Here, you can explore one of the last remaining wild corners of the United States, and experience unmatched sights, sounds, and solitude.

Roorbach's story is set in the park and he makes it sound absolutely gorgeous. After reading the story, Fosco became fascinated by Big Bend; however, sadly, he has yet to visit (he hasn't really had any good excuses to visit West Texas lately).

The hero of the story is a retired widower who has decided to work as a park employee at Big Bend for a year. He spends his days doing minor physical labor with a diverse team of other men. When we meet him, he has fallen passionately in love with a visiting birdwatcher from Chicago--a woman who is almost thirty years younger, bulky, and married. Her name is Martha Kolodny. Suddenly, Mr. Hunter (our protagonist) is confused:

Another cause of sleeplessness was Martha Kolodny of Chicago, here in blazing, gorgeous, blooming, desolate Big Bend on an amateur ornithological quest. Stubby called her "Mothra," which had been funny at first, given Ms. Kolodny's size and thorough, squawking presence, but which was funny no longer, given the startling fact of Mr. Hunter's crush on her, which had arrived unannounced after his long conversation with her just this evening, in the middle of a huge laugh from Ms. Kolodny, a huge and happy, hilarious laugh from the heart of her very handsome heart.

There is something about the line "a huge and happy, hilarious laugh from the heart of her very handsome heart" that Fosco adores. For me, at least, there is no resisting Martha Kolodny once she's described that way. She is a bringer of joy--both to Mr. Hunter and to the reader.

The other thing about this story that thrills me is the sheer optimism of it. Here are two oldish, semi-unattractive people who lead extremely sad lives in extremely sad parts of the country falling in mad passionate love like giddy teenagers. It's about a second chance at passionate love--but not in a mawkish or sentimental way. I just find it hard to be cynical about love when I'm reading this story. Not to mention that this surprisingly big, bright love is what makes this story work--it makes the images shimmer in Fosco's imagination.

And so, whether or not I ever read anything else by Bill Roorbach, there is a part of me that will always treasure this story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

You can read it here.

You may want to order the O. Henry Prize Stories 2002 from Amazon. Or one of Bill Roorbach's books. Please follow these links:




submit to reddit

Why Fosco Wears Gloves at the Market

On "Foodie Friday," we shop at Whole Foods.

Big news in Santa Cruz this week: Whole Foods is open! Fosco is thrilled--finally, Santa Cruz can join world-class cities like Reston, Virginia and Sugar Land, Texas! Whee!

In honor of the local Whole Foods grand opening, Fosco would like to call your attention to this article from the HuffPo. Apparently,

One of the most deadly spiders in the world has been found in the produce section of a Tulsa grocery store. An employee of Whole Foods Market found the Brazilian Wandering Spider Sunday in bananas from Honduras and managed to catch it in a container.

Fosco read this report five minutes ago and he's still got the chills. He would love to include a photograph of this spider in this post, but as something of an arachnophobe, Fosco doesn't even want to touch a picture of a spider. [shiver]

In related news, equally venomous Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn was sighted at the same Whole Foods, lurking behind the bulk bins. I find pictures of him to be equally shudder-inducing.

UPDATE: Thanks to Todd (I swear he's like FL!'s "citizen reporter"), some corrections are necessary:

1. There is now the suggestion that the spider was misidentified. The spider was probably a member of a different, harmless species. However, it will be impossible to say for sure as the original spider was destroyed by the University of Tulsa. (The funny part of this story is the surprise and outrage over the destruction of the original spider. As far as Fosco was concerned, that's exactly what you're supposed to do to spiders.)
   
2. Fosco does not actually wear gloves at the market. He also never buys bananas.
   
3. Venomous senator Tom Coburn was not seen at the same Whole Foods. Rather, according to eyewitnesses, he was spotted at Tulsa's Blossom Day Care Center, feasting on tender babies. We apologize to Senator Coburn for this error.

Lunch with David

"Foodie Friday" is the name of the game today.

Last weekend, Fosco's well-connected and entertaining college roommate David was in town for a brief spring vacation. David and I were able to have a lazy lunch on Friday at San Francisco culinary fixture, The Slanted Door. As you may recall, Fosco is a fan of Charles Phan's local/organic Vietnamese; however, dining at the flagship (as opposed to one of the much cheaper Out the Door takeout spots) is a treat that Fosco generally reserves for special occasions (like his birthday last year, when Oz took him to Slanted Door for dinner).

Slanted Door is an excellent place to take an out-of-town guest. The dining room (as seen above) may be understated and casual, but the real attraction is the floor-to-ceiling views of SF Bay, the Bay Bridge, and Yerba Buena Island (view at right). There is probably no better restaurant view in the city, especially on a sunny day. Add an appealingly casual waitstaff (t-shirted with many tats and pierces), and you have a laid back atmosphere where you can pay attention to the important things in life: visual and gustatory pleasure.

At midday, neither David nor Fosco felt like a cocktail. However, David was intrigued by the appearance of the adjective "biodynamic" attached to the (non-alcoholic) Elderflower spritzer on the beverage menu. Our waiter was only too happy to explain that "biodynamic" refers to a specific organic agricultural method developed in the nineteenth century by Rudolf Steiner. As the waiter explained, it involves treating the farm like a completely closed system. Or something like that. The waiter also noted that "biodynamic" has "metaphysical and astrological connotations," but (thankfully) he declined to elaborate. An organic spritzer with astrological/metaphysical properties? Welcome to San Francisco, David! Actually, both David and I ordered the Elderflower spritzer and it was quite enjoyable (I tasted citrus, David tasted lychee).

Ever since Fosco's birthday dinner with Oz last summer, Fosco has been obsessed with Slanted Door's yellowtail sashimi. It is absolutely exquisite. It comes topped with crispy shallots (like high-end french-fried onions) and Thai basil. I can say without exaggeration that it is a true metaphysical and astrological experience. So of course David and I ordered it. Isn't it gorgeous?

I could eat it once a day. At least.

Slanted Door is family-style and the rest of our meal was a bricolage of yummy Vietnamese specialties, including

• honey-hoisin pork shortribs (accompanied by extremely hot towels for washing your fingers after)
  
• Fosco's favorite green papaya salad (which he's discussed before)
  
• the shaking beef--made with tender filet mignon
  
• sadly, some very forgettable noodles--why aren't the noodles at Slanted Door better?

Other than the shaking beef, Fosco thinks the best strategy at Slanted Door is, as recommended by No Salad As A Meal, an entire meal of appetizers. Damn, those honey-hoisin ribs were good.

Because it was a special occasion, desserts were ordered. We had beignets with a cinnamon sabayon (are doughnuts ever bad?) and the intriguing "black cardamom tapioca, kumquat geleé, black cardamom pudding and tapioca." Fosco is a big fan of cardamom (even for dessert) and this pudding did not disappoint. It was surprisingly elegant, actually.

After lunch, because Slanted Door is in the gourmet mecca of the Ferry Building (seen above), Fosco and David dropped by Michael Recchiuti for some boutique chocolates. Fosco's loves Recchiuti's rose caramels and bergamot chocolates. Mmmmmmm...

As we left the Ferry Building, the lunchtime line for high-end burger palace Taylor's Automatic Refresher was getting a bit out of hand:

Alas, we had no room for garlic fries.

[Several of these photos (guess which?) were taken by David himself.]

Keith Olbermann: Bust the Trusts

Corporations are not our friends. They do not have our best interests at heart. They don't care about you or your economic well-being.

It's time we did something about that.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Amen, brother.

Tops and Bottoms

Don't be dirty-minded... we're talking rankings, not sexual role preferences.

You may recall that Fosco loves rankings (especially of cities). And because Fosco is not alone, the media has realized that rankings always make popular news stories.

So what's new in the world of rankings? Well, there's a bunch of Bay Area-related news to share.

First, the good news: California's 14th Congressional District is the happiest in the nation. This district covers most of the Peninsula south of San Francisco and stops just north of Santa Cruz. Because Fosco lives in Santa Cruz and Oz lives in Daly City, Fosco ends up driving the length of the 14th District several times a month. He must admit that everyone in it sure looks pretty happy--and rich.

Speaking of rich, the district contains most of Silicon Valley, including Google, Apple and Mmm Carpets. However, as this article in the Santa Cruz Sentinel notes:

While higher income and greater opportunity associated with these districts didn't hurt their standing, Amy Neftzger, the lead researcher with Gallup's partner Healthways, said money didn't necessarily translate into happiness. Work, she cautioned, took a toll on physical and emotional health in many parts of the country.

Any guesses as to the least happy congressional district? No, not Indiana's 2nd, but close. It's the bleak Kentucky 5th, on the border with Virginia and West Virginia (median income $21,915).

But not all is pleasant in the Bay Area. As this piece on SFGate notes, San Francisco is one of the ten WORST cities to be unemployed in.

Forbes has compiled a list of the 10 best and 10 worst U.S. cities when it comes to stretching unemployment dollars -- calculated based on benefits versus the cost-of-living. Sadly, San Francisco is the fourth worst city to be on unemployment, better only than New York, Miami and Phoenix.

Phoenix? It turns out the problem there is stingy unemployment benefits (imagine that!). This is how it was all calculated:

In San Francisco, the maximum unemployment benefit is $450 a week, and the cost of living is $113,576 a year. That means the benefits only cover 20.6 percent of the cost-of-living, making getting by on the checks in San Francisco a pretty bleak prospect.

Sigh. And lest you think that the top of list is populated by cities that you would prefer not to live in (employed or unemployed), you should know that both Boston and Seattle somehow made the Top 10.

Let's wrap things up with some college rankings. According to this piece in the Sentinel, surfline.com has named UC Santa Cruz the second best campus for surfing in the nation. The top? UC San Diego. No surprise there, really. The worst surf campuses weren't ranked, but I'm pretty sure the University of Oklahoma is near the bottom.

submit to reddit

Hentai Goes High Culture

N.B., there are parts of this post (farther down) that might be a little NSFW. Be warned.

Somehow, Fosco managed to ignore most of the hullabaloo around last year's Takashi Murakami retrospective which started at the MOCA in LA and traveled to the Brooklyn Museum (among other places). Sure, Fosco skimmed the New Yorker review, but didn't pay much attention. Murakami just isn't quite Fosco's style.

Takashi Murakami (not to be confused with Haruki Murakami, whose exquisitely beautiful novels Fosco does love) is something of an art sensation. To Fosco, T. Murakami looks eerily like the future version of Hiro Nakamura from TV's "Heroes." Murakami's art, however, is not from the future--it's insistently of the present. I guess you could call his work "pop art"--in that it owes much to popular forms of animation and illustration (especially manga). Yes, there are lots of anthropomorphic flowers, mushrooms, and god-knows-what:

It's like the materialization of an LSD hallucination--at least, that's what I imagine it would it be like.

It's also relentlessly, and intentionally, commercial. You may recall the frisson caused by the inclusion, in the middle of the actual exhibit, of a fully-functioning Louis Vuitton boutique dedicated to selling Murakami's designs for Vuitton. As this piece in the Village Voice notes, the Vuitton boutique was one of the principle draws of the Murakami show in the first place. You may recognize this Murakami design for Vuitton:

If you think this pattern is unforgivably gaudy, you should see this design translated into actual decor in Fosco's December photograph of the Manhattan Louis Vuitton boutique:

It's eye-catching, sure; but isn't it all a little... vulgar?

Apparently, in all of Fosco's studied ignorance of 2008's Murakami-fest, he managed to avoid knowledge of one sculpture in particular. Somehow, Fosco missed (in Peter Schjeldahl's review of the retrospective) this description of

another, “My Lonesome Cowboy,” is of a masturbating boy whose ejaculate twirls upward like a lariat.

If you're wondering what on earth this might look like, Fosco's got your back. Behold!

Hell's bells, that's disturbing! Are you repulsed, yet unable to look away? Well, here are some more views:



The title, My Lonesome Cowboy (referring to an Andy Warhol film), is pretty great. And sure, there's something cute about his face (he is an anime boy, after all); and yes, I would probably kill to have his hair. But that cum lasso? Freaky. Which I guess is the point.

[Note: in the Village Voice piece, the author claims that the boy "has some kind of disgusting gray effluvia shooting out of his wiener." Ummm, I think we call that "semen." Art interpretation: Ur doin it rong.]

Want to know how Takashi Murakami himself would explain this sculpture? You can take an online tour of this room of the exhibition (choose Exhibition Tour, Part 1).

But wait, this story gets even better: the sculpture just sold at auction for over $15 million (when commission is included). As this blog notes, Sotheby's was expecting the piece to go for $3-$4 million, so this was pleasant surprise. As the shape+colour blogger notes, Murakami is so popular right now that he can do no wrong:

And when you can do no wrong, your life-sized sculpture of a bright-eyed anime manga-boy jerking off and whipping his jizz into a gigantic lasso around his head will sell at auction for $13.5 million US.

I guess that's how you know you've "made it."

Thanks to Todd for bringing this story to my attention.

If you want to read more about Takashi Murakami (or read some novels by Haruki Murakami), you can click through on these buttons:

Fosco will receive a tiny percentage and he will be grateful.

submit to reddit

Parapraxis or Sheer Stupidity?: You Be the Judge!

Fosco understands that people--including public figures--regularly misspeak. And I certainly don't want to ascribe deep meaning to every slip of the tongue (sorry, Uncle Freud). But sometimes, you just can't avoid the sneaking suspicion that the mis-speaker has unintentionally revealed something true.

From this article in the HuffPo, describing GW Bush's plans for his (not yet contracted) book:

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said. [italics mine]

As a description of Bush's eventual book, I suspect this will be one hundred percent accurate. In fact, I think George just wrote the tagline for the jacket!

What A Mess Is Texas!

Fosco is bedeviled by Texas.

Until recently, Fosco was willing to write off the entire state as a physical manifestation of his worst Bushian nightmares. I mean, other than the theocracy of Utah, Texas seems to be the closest thing we have to the "ideal" model of a conservative state--and a particularly dim-witted one, at that.

But then Fosco started to warm up to Texas--just a bit. For one thing, the state appears to be America's kolache capital. For another thing, Fosco's absolutely favorite band hails from Texas. And then there is the fact that several of the best readers of FL! live in Texas (you know who you are!). Clearly, Texas has redeeming value. And, to judge from this recent roadtrip by Jill, Texas has some beautiful and interesting places: artist colonies, dessert cantinas, spas.

However, just when Fosco reaches the point of thinking "Hey, maybe Texas isn't too bad," he reads stuff like this (from the always trenchant Jonathan Turley):

Don McLeroy, controversial Chair of the Texas State Board of Education, has released his top choice of his recommended reading list: “Sowing Atheism” by Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr. — a book billed by creationists as disproving evolution and exposing the worldwide atheist conspiracy. When combined with the effort to create an advanced degree in “Creation Science” in Texas, the state will soon rival Iran and Saudi Arabia as a bastion of medieval thought.

Yes, that's right: the head of the State Board of Education wants everyone to know that there is an atheist conspiracy afoot. Remember when, just ten years ago, we were making fun of Kansas? The difference, of course, is that Kansas wised up. Good job, Texas: you just made Kansas look progressive. Sigh.

But that's not all. Here's another Texas gem from Jonathan Turley:

Houston police and prosecutors are arresting people for potty-mouths. The Texans were shocked when New Yorker Abraham Urquizo, 35, used the “F-word” twice while arguing with his girlfriend at Salsa’s Mexican and Seafood Restaurant. They are clearly unaware that the word can be used as an adjective, noun, verb, adverb, participle, and a gerund in New York.

The crackdown on bad language would seem unconstitutional on its face under the first amendment. This is the second such arrest in eight months — citing them for disorderly conduct.

All I can say is "Fuck that." But seriously, has law enforcement in Texas really been so successful at preventing other crimes that it can now turn its attention to public cursing? And what about Texas's vaunted spirit of independent libertarianism? Doesn't this type of arrest smack of the kind of "police state" that conservatives are always decrying?

Oh Texas, why must you jerk me around like this?

UPDATE: Fosco clarifies his feelings about Texas in the comment section below. My apologies to my Texas readers for how this whole discussion went down. Alas, Fosco doesn't always think deeply before he posts.


submit to reddit

Local Wildlife Roundup

Watch out, animal-lovers! Here come some charismatic megafauna:

• Let's start with the good news (well, at least semi-good news). Last week, there were sightings of two different killer whale pods off the Bay Area coast. You can watch the news report here. Did you know that different Orca pods can choose to eat different types of food? As Wikipedia notes:
  

  specific populations show a high degree of specialization on particular prey species.

  One of the pods seen off the coast is a pod of salmon eaters; the other pod was seen killing harbor seals. This is good news because Fosco loves Orcas (he has a stuffed Orca named "Baby Shampu"). Sadly, however, this is bad news, because at least one of these pods is typically known to feed in the waters off Puget Sound and their appearance this far south suggests that food supplies are getting scarce.
  
• And now the bad news. According to this piece in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, "an assortment of factors suggests California's sea otter population is in decline." As you may have noticed, Fosco also adores sea otters. Sometimes I wish I could offer Oz's bathtub as an otter habitat.
  
• But one form of local wildlife is in full swing: roller girls. As in roller derby. This week, the Sentinel featured this slide show of a match(?) between the Santa Cruz Rollergirls and "the L.A. Derby Dolls Sirens." Although they are all interesting, Fosco's favorite picture is probably this one:
  
  I think this photo pretty much captures everything that Fosco wants to believe about roller derby.

"Hello, Chieftains!"

The inaptly-named "Muesic Tuesday" continues...

As Fosco mentioned earlier, today is apparently some sort of Irish-themed holiday. Consequently, there should be some mention of Irish music today. Unfortunately, Fosco loathes any kind of traditional Irish music. Not to mention his recent feelings about U2.

Luckily, there is one Irish folk song that Fosco can stand. It's this duet between Brak and The Chieftains. There is much to love in this clip (and Fosco laughs out loud every time he watches it), but the best part may be the way Brak says "Chieftains."

Now that is inspired zaniness. Happy Saint Patrick's Day from Brak, The Chieftains, and Fosco!

Bleed ears, bleed I say!

After postponing "Music Monday" until today, Fosco is tempted to postpone again (I'm still deep in a paper). But that would lead to a complete breakdown of order. Chaos. Anarchy. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

And so, it's what we will call "Muesic Tuesday" here at the FL!

Fosco has already discussed his love of über-wussy music like Sufjan Stevens and Bon Iver. But you know, sometimes Fosco just needs to forget himself and bang his head for a bit--the nihilism of really loud music. And that's where a band like A Place to Bury Strangers comes in.

A Place to Bury Strangers generally produces a consensus in their reviews: the band is loud. As in LOUD. NPR lauds them as "Louder Than The Rest." NME.com notes that the band's 10-inch single actually broke the record presser during production because it was too loud (seriously--follow that link). And Noise Pop happily suggests "A Place to Bury Strangers are the loudest band in New York--and maybe the entire country?"

(The same site helpfully provides the three typical responses of an angry venue owner who has booked this band:
“Get the f*** out of here!”
“I am going to kill you.”
“I've only had to wear earplugs twice in my entire life and both times were tonight.”)

While it goes without saying that Fosco would never be able to handle an APtBS live show, he loves to turn his stereo volume down to reasonable levels to enjoy their music at home. And here's the big secret: the music of APtBS, for all its decibelity, is also surprisingly melodic. Think New Order (and then add a wall of guitar haze). And that may just explain why Fosco likes them so much.

So for your Tuesday listening pleasure, Fosco offers two songs from A Place to Bury Strangers. The first video is actually a real music video from the band. According to the explanatory notes on YouTube:

This innovative video is surely the first trans-continental video shot in an RV on a webcam.

Umm, yeah, so there's that. This is "I Know I'll See You."



The second video is just a song, but it's Fosco's favorite song on their self-titled album. This is "Missing You."



Crank down your speakers and enjoy!

Irish Accents

It has come to Fosco's attention that today is Saint Patrick's Day. If you want to giggle for a couple of minutes, please enjoy the holiday greeting at the top of the righthand column. It's a tribute to the irrepressible Irish accent by Fosco's own college roommate David Lat, filmed this past weekend at the San Francisco St. Pat parade.

Coming Soon: Soleil Moon Frye's Philosophical Ontology

Fosco is completely exhausted and maybe a little ill after a weekend of working hard and playing hard. Because he has no energy today (and still some work to finish), he's going to postpone "Music Monday" until tomorrow--at which point it will become "Muesic Tuesday" or something like that.

For your Fosco Lives! pleasure today, I can offer you this brief anecdote. Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, Fosco decided that he needed a specific academic book immediately for his paper-in-progress. The book is Basic Philosophical Writings by Emmanuel Levinas. The cover looks like this:

Because Fosco was in Daly City at Oz's place, the UCSC library was not a good option. Fosco decided that the most likely bookstore on the entire SF Peninsula to carry this book would be the Stanford bookstore in Palo Alto. Fosco called and reserved the book at said Stanford bookstore (they had it in stock!) and stopped by Palo Alto on the way to visit a friend in Santa Clara. I won't go into details about the difficulty of locating the Stanford bookstore (just know that it was hard).

Once inside the bookstore, Fosco went to retrieve the book from the Information Desk. That's where he had the following conversation:

FOSCO: You're holding a book for me?
MIDDLE-AGED LADY EMPLOYEE: What's your name?
FOSCO: [gives his name]
EMPLOYEE: [fetches book from shelf, glances at the cover.] Emmanuel Lewis?
FOSCO: [assuming that she's making a (pretty clever) joke] Something like that.
EMPLOYEE: [looks at cover again] Oh! Emmanuel Levinas! I read it wrong.
FOSCO: That's okay, I think that's funny. [starts to walk away]
EMPLOYEE: [calling out after Fosco] "Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?"

I think there are numerous lessons that we can learn from this interaction:

1. A book's cover design is key--splitting the author's name into two separate fonts that point in two separate directions is a recipe for disaster.
   
2. People tend to confuse Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman (or, even worse, tend to assimilate Lewis completely to Coleman).
   
3. TV's "Webster" lacked the necessary sassy catchphrase that would have made the show memorable twenty years later.

I can already imagine the LOLtheorists pix that some of Fosco's loyal readers will submit... Todd?

Breathtaking

Fosco loves anything that is both beautiful and unexpected. And so here, for your Sunday pleasure, are some unexpectedly beautiful things.

From the ready-to-wear(!) collection of Junya Watanabe:



See more from this collection here.

Fosco had never heard of Manish Arora until he saw the pictures below. Ummm, wow. Jaw-dropping. Like nothing I've seen before.



You can see more of this collection here.

You may know that Fosco loves houndstooth--LOVES it! Well, then how can he not love the dress on the right from the Fall 09 collection of Alexander McQueen? It's houndstooth undergoing some magical Escher-esque transformation into a flock of birds. It's ravishing, no?

I mean, LOOK at it! Unbelievable.

You can get a better idea of the pattern itself from this (also pretty gorgeous) dress:

You can see more of this collection here. You can read the NYT review of his collection here.

Sincerest thanks to FABULON, where Fosco saw all of these in the first place.