Friday, December 12, 2008

Album Cover Roundup

We are approaching the End of the Year (good riddance 2008) and that means lists! Here's one of Fosco's faves: Pitchfork's 20 Worst Album Covers of 2008. There are truly some aesthetic atrocities here, especially the Brad Paisley (sorry, BeeMistress, I know you love him).

While Fosco can't argue with any of Pitchfork's choices, he has some "runners-up" of his own:

Are we really supposed to believe that anyone, anywhere in the world (even in China), would spray paint "Guns N'Roses" on a wall? Or is this photo from 1985?

Even though Fosco loves Taylor Swift (more on that, someday), he thinks it's rational to fear this album cover (how ironic!). For one thing, she's like 15 and shouldn't be wearing those hooker eyelashes. And then there's the problem with her hair and how it looks like gemelli.

Fosco really likes this album, but he thinks the cover is kind of a letdown. Maybe it's just too literal.

The next two covers are similar in that they both feature a sex symbol of yesteryear attempting to reclaim her sex appeal (when did that ever work?):

Is Britney forty years old? Is one of her eyes a lot smaller than the other? Is that a Farrah Fawcett wig? What is wrong with her arms? Is she supposed to have arms in this picture? Or is she doing a circus-themed impersonation of a girl with flippers for arms? Is that what she wants me to think when I look at this picture? Eeek.

My God. Is this supposed to be sexy? I'm retching. Retching!

Perhaps (just perhaps), this cover is a parody of those horrible sentimental paintings of animals decorating for Christmas. But I think it's actually meant sincerely. I can't decide whether my favorite part is the weasel who lives in the fox's anus or the strangely self-satisfied badger. Either way, it's just an art trainwreck.

What about you, commenters? Any faves this year?


todd said...

I don't really think the Mike Doughty cover is bad, it's just rather uninspired.

The Britney and Madonna covers demonstrate quite clearly the dark side of Photoshop-era celebrity photos.

I actually think the Loreena McKennitt cover is sort of awesome. Even if it was meant sincerely, it's hilarious.

Since you brought them up, I do have a question I've been meaning to ask about Pitchfork... Do any of their writers actually like music? Or do they just like the false sense of superiority they get from being the self-appointed arbiters of music opinion on the web? I like snark as much as anybody, but snark for snark's sake is ultimately empty and hollow.

FOSCO said...

Yeah, Pitchfork is pretty much unreadable--at least if you want actual music reviews. This list is probably the most interesting thing they do all year.