You're no mystery to me, Miss California.

On occasion, "Music Monday" requires a bit of setup.

Sometimes it feels like we meet someone loathsome every week. Last week, it was Miss California, Carrie Prejean. Prejean, who looks like nothing so much as a vinyl effigy of Elizabeth Berkley, was the frontrunner in last week's Miss USA Pageant--until, as you know, she was asked about her position on same-sex marriage. Her answer has become famous by now, especially in courses on how NOT to win Miss USA.



Indeed, Carrie's plea for "opposite marriage" (only, of course, in "[her] country"--wherever that is...) seems to have cost her the crown. Instead, our bronzed rack of lamb had to settle for First Runner-Up. Unfortunately, her consolation prize was merely to co-host the "Today" show for a couple of days. This is particularly sad as, if she had won the crown, she would gotten a much better gig. Like, um, cutting the ribbon at the new Food Lion in Greensboro, NC. Hang in there, Carrie--you'll make it someday!

Naturally, she immediately became a political figure. Insane people loved her "courage." Equally insane people hated her. Prejean herself attempted to crazy up her image a little, blathering about being "biblically correct." Eventually, someone finally noted that she had her facts wrong anyway. And somehow, we all cringed to discover that she casually dates Michael Phelps (has he made one good decision outside of a swimming pool?).

Now Fosco doesn't want to hate on Miss California too much. After all, asking beauty queens about politics is a recipe for disaster--as far as I'm concerned, she just mostly made herself look bigoted and stupid for posterity. (Although, whether we should be taking her "opinion" seriously for the rest of the week is a different question altogether.) And besides, no one has been able to adequately explain to me why two infinitely more loathsome people were on stage with her that evening (that would be Perez Hilton and Billy Bush). Carrie's clearly the distant third in that trio of repulsiveness.

What the hell does any of this have to do with music? I am pleased that you asked. Fosco's annoyance with Miss California last week was decidedly attenuated by his discovery of the song "Miss California" by his beloved Jack's Mannequin. Somehow, Fosco had managed to overlook this song (which is a bonus track on The Glass Passenger) until last week. For some reason, imagining Carrie Prejean as the Miss California named in the song makes Fosco laugh--a lot. Perhaps it has something to do with the lyrics:

But I'm gonna take you to my boxcar on the beach
And I'm gonna hang the sun above your bed
And soak your hair in bleach

You'll be missed Miss California
You'll be kissed by only me
When they can't find you, you'll turn into a mystery
but you're no mystery to me, Miss California.

Yes, these lyrics are a little creepy (or, as Oz suggested, a little "kidnap-ey"), but the song itself is really a great sing-a-long pop jewel. And of course, I'm not advocating the abduction of Carrie Prejean; however, these are the kinds of silly fantasies that stupid people have about beauty queens (and that Jack's Mannequin is clearly mocking in this song). It's just a funny song that is made funnier when you imagine Prejean's semisynthetic face in the middle of the narrative.

Sadly, the best version that I've been able to find online is this live video from YouTube. It's not a terrible performance (the energy is high), but you should probably find a way to listen to the studio version.



Also, why does he keep trying to stand up? Sit down!

Oh, and if you'd like a "bonus track" from Jack's Mannequin, listen to this excellent cover of MGMT's "Kids"--good stuff.

Eraserhead 2: The Geithnering

Following a suggestion from his old friend Keith, Fosco offers for your consideration: Jack Nance in David Lynch's Eraserhead and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.


Spooky, huh? I'd make a joke about something from the plot of Eraserhead, but

1. I have little confidence that many of my readers have seen it.
   
2. I don't really remember much about it myself.

To the best of my recollection, I think there was some dancing involved. And some horrible worm creatures. Actually, the film is probably not too much different from recent meetings at the Treasury.

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Keith Olbermann: Bust the Trusts

Corporations are not our friends. They do not have our best interests at heart. They don't care about you or your economic well-being.

It's time we did something about that.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Amen, brother.

Parapraxis or Sheer Stupidity?: You Be the Judge!

Fosco understands that people--including public figures--regularly misspeak. And I certainly don't want to ascribe deep meaning to every slip of the tongue (sorry, Uncle Freud). But sometimes, you just can't avoid the sneaking suspicion that the mis-speaker has unintentionally revealed something true.

From this article in the HuffPo, describing GW Bush's plans for his (not yet contracted) book:

"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened," Bush said. [italics mine]

As a description of Bush's eventual book, I suspect this will be one hundred percent accurate. In fact, I think George just wrote the tagline for the jacket!

The Iceland Saga, Part Two

This is part two of a lengthy post on the Icelandic economic crisis. You can read Part 1 here.

In the previous post on Iceland's financial collapse, Fosco took you on a whirlwind tour of numerous different sites and sources. In this post, Fosco wants to concentrate on two in-depth sources: this recent New Yorker profile of the Icelandic crisis by Ian Parker (frustratingly, only available to subscribers) and Michael Lewis's forthcoming piece in Vanity Fair.

When we last checked in on our frozen heroes, Iceland's culture and economy were in a sort of stasis. So what happens now? As Parker notes, this is what no one knows:

the question asked by any visitor was also being asked by Icelanders themselves: When a wealthy, First World country--publicly funded medicine, private jets, evenings of chamber music--experiences a catastrophe that shocks its neighbors and brings the International Monetary Fund to its aid, what happens next? How does ruin turn out?

Worryingly, we still don't know the answer. However, as Parker points out near the end of the article, there may be some measure of acceptance: ruin may not be as bad as everyone feared.

In a society with national health care, low energy costs, and little real poverty [read: a society completely unlike the US], some Icelanders--even those with monstrous new debts--allowed themselves the luxury of a slow exhalation. The opposite of prosperity is not extinction. [...] Many Icelanders seemed encouraged by thoughts of a more austere, domestic, and less self-consciously potent national reputation. There was some talk of knitting.

That's the good news. And I think, as good news goes, that it's actually pretty okay. Knitting is a somewhat reasonable activity. Cultural austerity is acceptable. Of course, things will be much worse if/when this happens in the US.

But now that we know that Fosco's beloved everyday Icelanders are probably going to be okay, maybe we should take a little time to blame the people who got Iceland into this mess. A good portion of both Parker's piece and Lewis's piece is a fascinating exposition of the roots of the Icelandic crisis.

Apparently, sometime after Fosco's last visit to the island (in the late 1990s), the government decided to cast aside the traditional model of Scandinavian socialism in favor of neoliberal economic "reform" (are you noticing a familiar villain lately?). The government privatized the banks, the phone company, and the fish-processing plants. Naturally, these newly private institutions were snapped up by members of the political ruling class. What remained of public institutions (like the Icelandic Central Bank) were de-regulated.

The Prime Minister who oversaw almost all of this neoliberalizing was Davíð Oddsson. Interestingly enough, after serving as Prime Minister, Oddsson got himself appointed as the chairman of the board of governors of Iceland's Central Bank. As Parker dryly notes, this was "an unimaginable move in almost any other political system." When Lewis tells it, this is an even stranger occurrence:

At length, weary of prime-ministering, [Oddsson] got himself appointed governor of the Central Bank—even though he was a poet without banking experience.

After the collapse he holed up in his office inside the bank, declining all requests for interviews. Senior government officials tell me, seriously, that they assume he spends most of his time writing poetry. (In February he would be asked by a new government to leave.)

And we thought GW Bush was disengaged!

But for a while, Oddsson's plan seemed to be working. He and his cronies were able to make lots and lots of money. As Parker notes:

the three main Icelandic banks--Kaupthing, Landsbandki, and Glitnir--and many of the businesses associated with them were leveraging themselves internationally. The distinction between these banks and their corporate clients is blurry: at the heart of Iceland's adventure was a small group of men and a fair amount of interconnectedness; and it's tempting, if not entirely just, to think of them as partners in a single giant national hedge fund.

And suddenly, Iceland--a country that was essentially classless due to socialism--suddenly developed a class of super-rich billionaires. This was a very good time for a lot of Icelanders, a period that Parker calls the "giddy years of growth":

an era now remembered for Range Rover traffic jams, and private parties featuring Elton John. Valgeir Valdimarsson, who until recently worked for the airline Iceland Express, compared it to the "dream season" on "Dallas." He said, "People were thinking, Wow, we're one of the richest countries in the world. They they woke up."
[...]
Many Icelanders viewed all this with bemusement. "In most cases, people were quite proud of what was happening," Andri Snaer Magnason, a leading Icelandic writer, said. [...] "But we didn't really understand it. A guy running twenty stores in Iceland suddenly had bought half the high street in London?"

It all sounds like great fun, of course. But you know what happens to leverage, right? Eventually you may have to put up some cash. As Parker explains:

In 2007, at the start of the global credit crunch, the Icelandic banks were not weighed down by weird securitized assets, but they were big--many would say irresponsibly so--and Iceland was tiny. The country had one of the smallest freely floating currencies in the world, and, before the crash, the banks had outgrown the national economy by at least nine hundred percent. (In 2007, the equivalent figure in America was eighty-one per cent.)

Ouch. I don't know a lot about finance, but I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing.

Lewis tells the story relying on different "highlights," concentrating on how these banks essentially borrowed more money than it could ever be possible to pay back:

In 2003, Iceland’s three biggest banks had assets of only a few billion dollars, about 100 percent of its gross domestic product. Over the next three and a half years they grew to over $140 billion and were so much greater than Iceland’s G.D.P. that it made no sense to calculate the percentage of it they accounted for. It was, as one economist put it to me, “the most rapid expansion of a banking system in the history of mankind.”

At the same time, in part because the banks were also lending Icelanders money to buy stocks and real estate, the value of Icelandic stocks and real estate went through the roof. From 2003 to 2007, while the U.S. stock market was doubling, the Icelandic stock market multiplied by nine times. Reykjavík real-estate prices tripled. By 2006 the average Icelandic family was three times as wealthy as it had been in 2003, and virtually all of this new wealth was one way or another tied to the new investment-banking industry.

In the end, Icelanders amassed debts amounting to 850 percent of their G.D.P. (The debt-drowned United States has reached just 350 percent.) As absurdly big and important as Wall Street became in the U.S. economy, it never grew so large that the rest of the population could not, in a pinch, bail it out. Any one of the three Icelandic banks suffered losses too large for the nation to bear; taken together they were so ridiculously out of proportion that, within weeks of the collapse, a third of the population told pollsters that they were considering emigration.

And lest you think that this growth was based on extremely complicated transactions that seemed like good ideas at the time, consider this description of Icelandic banking as reported to Lewis:

Yet another hedge-fund manager explained Icelandic banking to me this way: You have a dog, and I have a cat. We agree that they are each worth a billion dollars. You sell me the dog for a billion, and I sell you the cat for a billion. Now we are no longer pet owners, but Icelandic banks, with a billion dollars in new assets.

Holy crap, that's insane (especially since everyone knows that dogs are intrinsically worth more than cats). And how was it possible for them to get away with it? Well, it helped that the ruling Independence Party (Oddsson's party) was not just in favor of deregulation, but also (apparently) completely incompetent:

There’s a charming lack of financial experience in Icelandic financial-policymaking circles. The minister for business affairs is a philosopher. The finance minister is a veterinarian. The Central Bank governor is a poet. Haarde [the former Prime Minister], though, is a trained economist—just not a very good one. The economics department at the University of Iceland has him pegged as a B-minus student. As a group, the Independence Party’s leaders have a reputation for not knowing much about finance and for refusing to avail themselves of experts who do.

Now that part, at least, is starting to sound very familiar to these post-GWB ears.

And it's in speaking of GWB that Fosco has saved the best titbits for last (just like Vanessa Williams). It may be said that behind every GW Bush there is always a Karl Rove. Well, I think it's time for you to meet Oddsson's Icelandic Rove. Hint: he's psychotic! Parker describes him:

When Iceland changed, one prominent figure was a libertarian professor of political philosophy at the University of Iceland named Hannes Hólmsteinn Gissurarson--a free-market intellectual. "In a sense, I was one of the authors of this adventure," he said in Reykjavik, in December.
[...]
I had learned that Gissurarson--whose blog takes you in one click to Edith Piaf singing "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien"--was widely distrusted in Reykjavik.
[...]
In 2001, Gissurarson published "How Can Iceland Become the Richest Country in the World?," entertaining the idea that Iceland could build an offshore financial economy akin to that of the Channel Islands. Margaret Thatcher is one of his great heroes.

And if you think this guy is an asshole, just wait--it gets even better. This is perhaps one of the most damning conclusions to an article that Fosco has ever read. And the best part, is that Gissurarson does all of Parker's work for him:

In B5, the empty and fashionable bar, Hannes Gissurarson, the author of "How Can Iceland Become the Richest Country in the World?," had said, "Ten to fifteen guys overreached themselves, they were out of control. But that is not the cause of the collapse." The primary causes, in Gissurarson's opinion, were the international credit crunch, the treachery of Gordon Brown--the "schoolyard bully"--and the failure of the European Central Bank to show Iceland support.

He also said, as if the thought were occurring to him for the first time, that it may be that "some of us are to blame indirectly, because we created a climate in which the entrepreneur was applauded. The businessmean, the guy who takes over companies, asset-stripping--he was a hero in Icelandic folklore that was created by some of us who strongly supported the free market." He went on, "Indirectly, I take some blame for it, but, if you think about it, it's not my fault. It's the fault of the left-wing intellectuals, who should have been giving a counter-view!" He added, "You can't blame people for their successes--you have to blame those who fail. We were too successful with the free-market philosophy."

[...]

Had it suited Iceland to be rich? "Very much so," Gissurarson said. "It was a hell of a good ride. Yes, it was."

Wait. Let's just re-read one of those sentences again. In fact, let's put it in bold:

"Indirectly, I take some blame for it, but, if you think about it, it's not my fault. It's the fault of the left-wing intellectuals, who should have been giving a counter-view!"

I think I can speak for almost all Icelanders (and for any Fosco Lives! readers who have made it this far) when I say: "Fuck you." Fuck. You.


Some recommendations in contemporary Icelandic literature, including works by Nobel-winner Halldór Laxness (plus one travel guide):




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The Iceland Saga, Part One

The first part of a two-part post on the Icelandic economic crisis.

Fosco has mentioned before that he loves Iceland immoderately. He and his college roommate lboom went to Iceland twice in the late 1990s and fell in love with the place. So much so that Fosco has fantasies about living the rest of his life in coolest city in the world, Reykjavík. That way, he could spend at least one day a week submerged in the coolest spa in the world: the Bláa lónið (aka the Blue Lagoon. No, not that one).

Sadly, you've probably heard that things in Iceland aren't very stress-free as of late. As Fosco noted last fall, Iceland's entire banking system has collapsed. Fosco is actually surprised that this story hasn't received more press attention so far. After all, the media usually loves disasters when they happen to white people (and Icelanders are indeed quite white--almost transparent, actually). Maybe the Icelandic crisis just can't compete with our own American crisis (although Iceland's in a lot more trouble); or perhaps no one wants to suggest that what could happen in Iceland could perhaps happen elsewhere (like here).

Whatever the reason, Fosco is here to fill in the blanks. This is what you need to know about the Icelandic financial crisis.

One thing about Icelanders: they are a generally a practical and reasonable people. During the immediate aftermath of their economic collapse, foreign reporters had a hard time finding much of a "human story," owing to a general lack of hysteria. This piece from The Daily Beast found one major difference: "No One's Eating Pie Anymore." Hmmm. What could that mean?

In some ways, Icelanders are a lot like Americans. They look like they’re from Portland, Maine. I attended a party here and the host cooked three pies: apple, pumpkin and pecan – then we all sat around and watched the U.S. presidential debate. To say that these people are more dedicated to U.S. politics than Americans is an understatement.
[...]
Until food and supplies run out, the country remains in the quiet before the storm. During the first week, the main shopping street was jammed with cars filled with families driving slowly, aimlessly. They didn’t know what to do. The restaurants were empty. The only rejoicing to be found was in expat hangouts, where dollars, recently worth 70 krona, were suddenly worth 150.

Part of the reason for the lack of despair, the article notes, is that Icelanders aren't terrified by the possibility of poverty:

It’s only as the long slow slide continues that Icelanders will make it very clear that they’re not like Americans. Americans don’t know how to be poor. Witness the millions of us who live totally on credit, and the fact that we have no idea how to sustain ourselves. We make reality TV shows about our attempts at hunting and survival, while Iceland was still a poor farming country just twenty years ago. There’s an old guy in Reykjavik who grew up in a nearby cave. Yeah, caveman. They may look like us and talk like us, but they can also do stuff like farm and knit and fish. The editor of one of the two major newspapers here told me, “I’ve always assumed that if my editing or music career doesn’t work, I can always gut fish.” It was his teenage job.

Maybe Americans could learn that kind of equanimity... but I'm not holding my breath.

Of course, that doesn't mean that some Icelanders weren't angry. Take pixie chanteuse Björk, for example. Right after the collapse, Björk wrote an editorial noting that the Icelandic government was planning to use the economic crisis as an opportunity to grant aluminum rights to environmental rapists like Alcoa and Rio Tinto, rights that would cause a great deal of environmental damage to Iceland. As Björk notes:

Usually I don't notice politics. I live happily in the land of music-making. But I got caught up in it because politicians seem bent on ruining Iceland's natural environment. And I read last week that, because of the crisis, a number of Icelandic MPs are lobbying for the environmental assessment to be ignored so that the dams can be built as quickly as possible to give Alcoa and Rio Tinto the energy they need for the two new smelters.

Yes, the "I don't notice politics" line is annoying as hell; but she's exactly right about the rest of it. It may be an economic collapse for the Icelandic people, but it looks like it's Christmas for Alcoa! Whee!

So things were looking pretty bad last fall; and then know what made them worse? Gordon Brown. As in Prime Minister of Great Britain. You see, before the collapse, because Iceland's banks were crooked and incompetent, they were returning a great rate of interest. Consequently, many British municipalities, pensions, charities, etc. decided to invest their money in Icelandic accounts. When the banks failed and were seized, those assets were frozen. This angered Britons and their Government responded: by seizing all Icelandic assets in Great Britain under the legal authority of anti-terrorism laws. Yoink! Being treated like terrorists rankled Icelanders apparently. As this article noted, law-abiding residents of Iceland were a tad angry about being compared to terrorists:

"Ordinary Icelanders are no more responsible for the risk-seeking businessmen who happen to hold our passport than the people of north London are responsible for the destructive behaviour of the talented Amy Winehouse," said Icelandic professor Eirikur Bergmann Einarsson in the Guardian.

Well-played, Professor Einarsson.

But Icelanders are both resourceful and witty. As this piece notes, Icelanders responded by creating photographic postcards to send to Gordon Brown, informing him that they are not terrorists. Here's one of the cuter examples (and no, I don't know why they call him "Darling"--isn't Iceland grand?):

(And yes, every living person in Iceland--of any age--is extraordinarily beautiful.) There are now tens of thousands of these photographs; you can browse them here.

So let's fast-forward our narrative to January of 2009. Suddenly, Icelanders started to get a little more restless. Protests started to get big. And nasty. Well, just a little nasty (this is still Iceland). HuffPo's Iceland correspondent even noted that "Iceland Is Burning" (which seems to have been a slight exaggeration, although something does appear to have been on fire in one of the accompanying photos--probably just briefly). Heartbreakingly, blogger Iris Erlingsdottir made this plea for help:

Over the past eight years, America ceased being the City on the Hill, shining its light to the rest of the world. America and Britain closed the NATO air base in Iceland, and have made no offer to help Iceland in its time of trouble. We need help, not only to break down the old power structure, rotten to the core, but also to prevent it from being rebuilt. We desperately need stability, economic assistance, impartial advice, and fair supervision.

Barack Obama, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Please!

Clearly, Obama has other priorities, Iris. Could we interest you in a (slightly-used) Dick Cheney?

Sure enough, days later the Icelandic Government collapsed and a caretaker coalition took over (crazy Parliamentary system!) until new elections can be held. The new Icelandic Prime Minister is Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, the first woman Prime Minister in Icelandic history and the first openly gay world leader (although there are still those pesky rumors about Stephen "Mr. Gropey" Harper). You've got to hand it to Iceland: even when their country is on the verge of dissolution, they manage to elect an elegant lesbian GILF as Prime Minister! Now that is style.

So where does that leave Iceland? Well, in some kind of stasis, it seems. The evil Balrogs of the IMF have shown up and have provided a loan and a plan to stabilize the economy (read: will make Icelanders pay for generations for the sins of a few ultra-capitalist robber barons). The banks are still frozen. No one has any money. Unemployment is up. Elections are still over a month away.

Fosco gets a daily dose of Icelandic news (thanks to a recommendation from his pal M-Life) from this site: Icelandic News in English. It's sad, of course--especially the description of the site itself:

Here you will find Icelandic news translated to English. I lost my job at the end of October as a result of the depression so, for now, I consider my job to be translating Icelandic news for those of you who are interested in this crisis that is shaking the very foundations of the Icelandic society.

Once again, we have to admire the Icelandic spirit. Unfortunately, the translations provided are not always so good (for one thing, newspaper articles never provide enough context for a foreign audience). And, for another thing, I think the translator's command of English is a bit imperfect (although much better than Fosco's command of Icelandic, natch). Here's a great line from an obituary of an Icelander who taught in the US:

He was a teacher of literature and penmanship at the Southwest Minnesota state university for the past 27 years.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he probably taught "writing." Of course, when Fosco laughs at a translation mishap like this, he's mostly just laughing to drive away the tears. Poor Iceland!

You can read Part 2 here.

Icelandic literary recommendations. The Icelandic Sagas (written in the 10th and 11th centuries) are a great treasure of world literature. They are also surprisingly readable and interesting. Some recommended collections/editions:

Click through to purchase.



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Omnibus Titbit Post

Some weeks, there's just too much to share with you, the Fosco Lives! reader. That's why you are now reading a "news digest" post, consisting of a bunch of stories that Fosco just can't not comment on.

• Guess who's back at Stanford! Hint: she's a lesbian war criminal. No, not Rosie O'Donnell, but good guess. Nope, it's Condi, who has returned to her life (and lifepartner!) at Stanford (aka America's anus). Her teaching load is still undetermined, but she eventually hopes to get back into the classroom:
  

  As a professor, Rice has said, she hopes to lead future courses on international politics, with a focus on decision-making. Specifically, she seeks to teach "decision simulation," where students are pressed to think about real-life questions and choices and not just abstract policy.

  You know, decisions like: "Which war is the right war for you?" or "How many dead Iraqi civilians is too many?". Come to think of it, she's going to fit right in at Stanford.
  
  
• There's more financial mumbo-jumbo to explain why Harvard is in trouble and it appears to have something to do with "dry powder." Fosco isn't quite clear on this concept, but he assumes it has something to do with the gunpowder that Harvard has amassed in the basement of Widener Library for the inevitable apocalyptic war against Yale in the End Times. Yale delenda est!
  
  
• Fosco went to prom in high school, because who doesn't love a little heteronormativity? For his senior prom, Fosco chose a lovely corsage for his date; the day after Fosco ordered said corsage, the date and her stepmother went to the florist and redesigned the whole thing. Guess who still paid (Fosco could afford it, but still!).
  
  Which brings me to my point: prom would be pretty silly and ridiculous if it weren't so damned expensive (and mainly for the girls). But, as per this article in a recent Santa Cruz Sentinel, things will be easier for girls in Santa Cruz this prom season: Free Prom Dresses! Yes, thanks to a city councilman and a local dry cleaners, a buttload of donated prom dresses (and yes, the appropriate grouping adjective for a collection of prom dresses in indeed "a buttload"--look it up!) has been assembled for girls who cannot afford to purchase their own. Which is actually a pretty good thing, right? I almost think everyone should wear a recycled prom dress. After all, why should you buy a new dress when it's only going to get covered with alcohol/vomit and ripped by an overeager date rapist? Ah, good prom memories...
  
  
• Speaking of prom, did you realize that one in every thirty-one American adults is now in the corrections system? As the brilliant Jonathan Turley goes on to note, Georgia is the leader in this statistic (1 in 13 adults in the corrections system), followed by Idaho and Texas. (Hmmm, is it me or are those all red states?) This is a shocking statistic, no? I don't think anyone believes that this kind of rate is sustainable--the burden on our society is just too great. I don't know what we need to do, but I'm willing to listen to proposals for increasing education spending and decriminalizing marijuana.
  
  
• Speaking of prison, did you see that former football-star Maurice Clarett is blogging from prison? You may remember Maurice Clarett as a star running back at the Ohio State University, who as a freshman, helped to lead that team to a National Championship. Or you may recall that Clarett then sued the NFL to allow him to enter the NFL draft a year early (he lost). Well, a few years later (after getting cut from several NFL teams) Clarett apparently committed an armed robbery and is now serving a seven and a half year sentence.
  
  Now Fosco has never been a fan of Clarett, but there is a surprise here. (And no, the surprise is not that an Ohio State player ended up in prison...) Fosco was prepared to make some comedic hay from Clarett's blog, but, well, he can't--it's actually pretty good. It turns out that Clarett is using his time in prison for self-improvement, including working on his college degree. He's been reading philosophy(!) and doing a lot of thinking about life. He's been counseling some of the younger prisoners. And you know, he's actually a pretty decent writer. I actually find the whole project to be both serious and positive. I don't want to make fun of someone who is clearly taking his mistakes seriously and thinking about what he can give back to society after his release. I'm a little impressed and, to tell you the truth, I've subscribed to the feed... You can find his blog here.
  
  (I wonder if the crooked administrators and boosters at Ohio State who took advantage of this kid will ever end up in jail... Yeah, I suppose not.)
  
  
• A Santa Cruz aerial photographer just swept the "2009 Professional Aerial Photographers Association print competition," according to this piece in the Sentinel. You can see one of his winning images at right. The story behind the image itself is actually pretty amazing:
  

  Back in May, David Sievert flew to the Black Rock Desert of Nevada to preserve for posterity one of the ephemeral creations of Santa Cruz sand artist Jim Denevan.
  
  Sievert circled for 40 minutes over a dry lake focusing on what Denevan hoped would be the world's largest freehand drawing. He spent a month and a half, using a stick to draw a series of circles, creating a composition three miles wide.

  Crazy! Think of the work involved! And think about all of the ways that the drawing could have been destroyed:
  

  Then a variety of circumstances could have smashed Denevan's composition, sitting unprotected in the wild.
  
  A ranger from the Bureau of Land Management drove out, wondering why Denevan had camped there and potentially jeopardizing the drawing.
  
  "He didn't know what we were doing," said Denevan, who tried to explain. "We told him, Hey, when you leave, would you follow the lines?'"
  
  Three days before Sievert was scheduled to arrive, a group of 30 machine gun enthusiasts in Hummers and pickups kicked up dust, heading straight toward the drawing.
  
  Luckily, they turned toward Denevan's camping bus, assuming their leader was inside, thus leaving the drawing intact.
  
  Even the weather cooperated.
  
  "It rained like crazy a week later," Denevan said.

  Fosco has always had a soft spot for good "nature art" (like Robert Smithson or Andy Goldsworthy). And while the circles thing is indeed pretty cool in its ambition, I wonder if it could have been a little more interesting. Like what about a giant Oprah head? Oh wait, that's been done...

How Much Does Sarah Palin Like Condoms?

A couple of weeks ago, Fosco waxed enthusiastic about his new favorite Palin, new mom Bristol. In the course of that post, Fosco made some accusations about the beliefs of Bristol's mom, Governor Sarah Palin. An anonymous commenter (who I assume is The BeeMaster, although he forgot to sign the comment) took issue with some of Fosco's facts and asked that Fosco make "corrections." This is a reasonable request--assuming Fosco was wrong. Let's find out, shall we?

Here is the first question raised by the commenter (Fosco's original words are in italics):

And so, on behalf of America, I'd like to apologize to Bristol Palin. Bristol, I'm sorry your mom is a hillbilly idiot who didn't want you to learn about how not to get pregnant.

Untrue. Sarah Palin has never backed abstinence-only sex education. In fact, she supports contraceptive education in public schools: http://articles.latimes.com/2008/sep/06/nation/na-sexed6

And from a radio show debate: "...I’m pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues. So I am not anti-contraception. But, yeah, abstinence is another alternative that should be discussed with kids. I don’t have a problem with that. That doesn’t scare me, so it’s something I would support also.”

The question, then, is: what type of sex education program does Sarah Palin support?

The commenter has found two statements by Palin that suggest she supports sex ed that teaches about contraception. Both of these quotes are referenced in an LA Times article:

“I’m pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues,” she said during a debate in Juneau.

[...]

"I’m pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues. So I am not anti-contraception. But, yeah, abstinence is another alternative that should be discussed with kids. I don’t have a problem with that. That doesn’t scare me, so it’s something I would support also.”

All of this may seem relatively straightforward, and Fosco is willing to admit that Sarah Palin is not quite the anti-contraception crusader that he has painted her as. However, I think Palin's view is a lot more complicated (or confused) than the commenter would like to admit.

The problem, of course, is Palin's response on a questionnaire by the nutjob Eagle Forum. When she was running for governor, Palin responded to the following question in the following way (you can find the full questionnaire here):

3. Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for [sic] explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?

SP: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.

Now what are we supposed to make of this answer? On the face of it, it does seem to suggest that Palin supports "abstinence-until-marriage education" instead of "explicit sex-education programs." After all, the question was worded as an "instead of" question and Palin explicitly (teehee!) chose the second alternative.

Of course, the problem here is what the hell the phrase "explicit sex-ed programs" means? Well, it turns out that "explicit sex-ed" is a loaded code phrase used by conservative groups as another, scarier, name for "comprehensive sex-ed." You can read about its deployment in this NY Times article. And while most parents do support the teaching of basic contraception in sex-ed classes, it is not clear whether a scare term like "explicit sex-ed" is intended to include such information (although I'd be willing to bet that unrolling a condom over a banana or cucumber would count as "explicit" for these people).

Palin's own clarification of the term explicit is about as useful as most of her clarifications. Once again, from the LA Times piece referenced earlier:

In August of that year, Palin was asked during a KTOO radio debate if “explicit” programs include those that discuss condoms. Palin said no and called discussions of condoms “relatively benign.”

“Explicit means explicit,” she said.

"Explicit means explicit"? Fine, but what does "explicit" mean to you, Sarah? Because, even from the way their questionnaire is worded, there is good reason to believe that the Eagle Forum understands the word "explicit" differently than you do (and I bet it includes condoms).

So I think we've managed to tease out Sarah Palin's true beliefs about sex ed. I guess she does actually support condom education. However, at the same time, she is also happy to suggest to conservative groups like the Eagle Forum that she is against "explicit sex-ed," even though "explicit sex-ed" is a conservative synonym for "comprehensive sex-ed" and comprehensive sex-ed does indeed include condom education. Whew! I may have been wrong about her position, but I think you can see why.

Which brings me to the better question here: why is it that Fosco had to spend an hour parsing scattered quotes in order to arrive at a barely half-satisfying position statement for a candidate for the second-most-powerful elected office in the country? We knew exactly what kind of sex ed programs the other candidates (Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and John "Walnuts" McCain) supported. Once again, Palin is a completely blank space. And why? Two reasons:

1. She never talked about any of her beliefs that she didn't want to talk about.
   
2. No one in the media had the opportunity (or the balls) to make her talk about those things.

No doubt her support for contraception would have been unpopular with "the base"; luckily, she never had to talk about it during the campaign. Maybe Fosco is old-fashioned, but he tends to think that candidates for public office have to be explicit (teehee!) about their positions, even when those positions may be unpopular. Hey, this would have been a great question for Greta Van Susteren to have asked Sarah Palin during her drop in! Hmmm, I wonder why Van Susteren didn't think of that...

Okay. On to the commenter's second objection:

And I'm sorry that people like your mom were in charge of your education in the state of Alaska, thereby preventing you from receiving meaningful sex ed.

Untrue. Bristol Palin attended Wasilla High, a public school in Alaska which does teach contraceptive use: http://joannejacobs.com/2008/09/02/sex-ed-and-the-single-alaskan/#comment-82693

Really? What's your source for that? Ah, here it is:

Hmmm. Maybe I'm being a "source snob," but I am not going to accept the third-hand testimony of the daughter of a "buddy" of a conservative Alaskan blogger, even if his name is "Rory."

Hey, here's a better idea. What if we considered the testimony of the Principal of Bristol Palin's Wasilla high school. According to an article in the Boston Herald, WHS Principal Dwight Probasco (pictured at right) stated that his school's sex ed curriculum "pushes abstinence." Whether or not this means that the curriculum is "abstinence-only," I don't know. I also don't know how whatever curriculum the school board and principal have approved gets translated into everyday lessons by the teachers in the school. And we certainly have no way of knowing what specific information Bristol Palin received in her sex ed classes (without, of course, asking her--another missed question by Van Susteren).

All of which means that Fosco cannot guarantee that Bristol Palin didn't learn something about contraception in high school sex ed (although her principal's quote seems to suggest that she did not). However, I think I'm more likely to be right on this than the commentator's pal "Rory." And I think it is clearly not the case that Bristol Palin received comprehensive sex ed, as the commenter asserts:

So, despite receiving "comprehensive" sexual education, Bristol Palin still got pregnant! How can this be? Shall we use draconian terms like "personal responsibility," or shall we chalk up her pregnancy as failure of "comprehensive" sex ed?

Ummm, can I answer "neither"? All sex ed, even comprehensive sex ed, is going to have a failure rate. The question is not whether a program prevents pregnancy altogether, but whether it does better than the alternatives. And, based on that criterion, there is little doubt that comprehensive sex education is effective.

And yes, of course Bristol Palin bears some personal responsibility for her pregnancy. However, we do tend to believe that ignorance lessens responsibility and if Bristol was kept ignorant of basic facts about reproduction and contraception (and we don't know to what extent she was), I think those people who kept that information from her must be held responsible as well.

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The Real Tragedy of Election '08

Ooooh, this is a good one!

Think back to last summer: a simpler time, when you could torture a suspected terrorist (just for fun!), when you could redecorate your office without getting lots of guff from the Congress, and when America was in love with an affable surrogate grandfather named Walnuts. Remember? And do you remember John McCain's glamorous wife (who, contrary to popular belief is not at all c*nty [not my word--follow the link])? Now think a little harder... Do you remember John McCain's daughter? No, not the brown one they hid during the campaign, but the white one (seen at right, dressed in a full-body turban).

During the campaign, Meghan "Peroxide" McCain reached out to youthful voters via her blog, bringing her father's message of hope to a new generation of capital-gains taxpayers and people who fear Mexicans. But since the election, Meghan has hit the big time, working as a writer for sites like The Daily Beast. Fosco hasn't followed her career too closely, but it's pretty clear that she didn't land these gigs based on her skills as a wordsmith (or, for that matter, her interesting perspective on life).

Which brings us to this article in The Daily Beast, in which Meghan McCain describes how her father's campaign has ruined her sex life. If Fosco believed in God, he's be offering thanks for this comedy gold.

Let's enjoy the best parts together, shall we? The piece starts with a bang:

The election killed my personal life.

OK, maybe killed is a bit of an exaggeration. But it does seem to be on life support. Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become. Especially if your dad loses the election. There are things that have been difficult, but nothing quite as tough as dating. I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I heard Bristol Palin say something similar recently. But I know what you're thinking: how did the election ruin your dating life, Meggy? She is so glad you asked:

Here's the biggest surprise: I am not only turned off by people who voted for Barack Obama, but I am also turned off by people that voted for my dad—or more so, obsessive supporters of my dad. Recently, over dinner, a guy started explaining his reasons for supporting President Obama during the election (I didn’t ask, I think the poor guy felt guilty) and I immediately found any attraction I had previously had dissipate. But same thing happens if a guy starts talking about all the reasons why my father should be president. I have the ultimate Catch-22 in post-election dating. So where does that leave me, and who exactly am I attracted to? Let’s just say I’m spending a lot of time writing and even more time with my girlfriends.

Wow, that is a dilly of a pickle. It's almost like she can't date anyone who voted! Which means the bitter irony here is that Meghan's ideal man might just have to be a foreigner; too bad Papa Walnuts doesn't want to let any of them into the country. And is it just me, or at the end of that passage did she admit that she has now been driven to lesbianism? I can't imagine what Walnuts and the White Queen would think about that.

But don't worry: she still gets a lot of dates. And why wouldn't she? Check out that photo above. Who wouldn't want to date the star of Flashdance? What a feeling!

Now here's the creepy part: some of the McCainiacs want to play dress-up with Miss Meg...

One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I'm not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me.

Eek! I'm not even going to consider the sexual fantasies that potential suitor must be having. Actually, come to think of it, I would bet that Sarah Palin is also involved in those fantasies.

The fans of Walnuts are not quite as creepy, but, as Meghan notes, they tend to have a very limited sense of humor:

Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a “maverick choice” and proceeded to tell me, “Wow, straight talking must run in the family.” It’s like someone taking Lisa Marie Presley out on a date and singing “Hound Dog” in the middle of dinner.

Yes, and we all know how that turned out for poor Lisa Marie. Not to mention all the other John McCain-related lines the guy probably had prepared:

• "I sure hope you can raise your arms above your head!"
  
• "You can call me Joe the Plumber if it gets you off."
  
• "I'll never suspend my campaign to win your heart."
  
• "Hey, I think I just saw Lindsey Graham watching us from behind that curtain."
  

There were probably some other good ones [get to work, commenters!].

So what is the ultimate lesson of Meg's little essay?

So to all the fathers out there: If you want your daughters to be single in her 20s, I can say this—run for president.

I don't want to take this suggestion more seriously than it deserves, but, um, this actually didn't work for at least one of the Bush girls.

On the whole, though, I must say that I feel a bit sorry for Meghan. Who could have imagined that the 2008 election would have such momentous consequences? It's almost as if Americans made a decision about who to vote for without taking into account the effects on Meghan's personal life. It's almost as if Americans don't care about Meghan's happiness. Oh Meghan, what's a wealthy and well-connected young woman to do!


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More Jindalicious Lies

Last week, Louisiana Governero Bobby Jindal provided the Republican response to President Obama's address to Congress. Despite his status as a Republican "rising star," Jindal's performance was roundly panned as stale, inauthentic, and nihilistic. Oh, and he may have reminded many Americans of a likable yet dimwitted television character. Mission accomplished, Bobby!

But wait, it gets worse. Yesterday, a spokesperson for Jindal admitted that the governor completely fabricated the central anecdote of his speech: a story about his heroic anti-bureaucratic actions during Hurricane Katrina. Oops! Jindal had used the story to make a point about how government often stands in the way of the solutions to problems (solutions like, you know, saving people from rising flood waters). Maybe so, but do you know what probably does even less than government to save people from rising floodwaters? Fictional heroism! Heckuva job, Bobby!

All of which raises an important question for Fosco: what else has Bobby Jindal been lying to us about? With a little digging, Fosco has managed to compile a list:

• Real first name is not Bobby.
  
• Actually not the Governor of Louisiana, but the Lieutenant Governor.
  
• Wife was not "Miss Teen Louisiana"; rather, was "Mr. Teen Louisiana."
  
• Claimed to prefer Hosea's gumbo, but actually preferred Stefan's gumbo.
  
• Criticized the stimulus bill for containing a MagLev train between Disneyland and Las Vegas. Train is not mentioned in bill and is only one of many potential projects that may request high-speed rail funding.
  
• Is the biological father of Sarah Palin's baby.
  
• Did not actually give his speech from Louisiana's Governor's Mansion, but in front of a green screen in Tom Selleck's poolhouse.
  
• Has never managed the Jonas Brothers.
  
• Pretended to be terminally ill so as to get a visit from Joe Namath.
  
• Is actually wearing his father's suit.
  
• Cannot watch The Muppets Take Manhattan without sobbing uncontrollably.
  
• Secretly doubts whether all women who have abortions are godless whores.
  
• Real middle name: Hussein.

Whether or not these lies are sufficient to disqualify him from seeking higher office (like, say, the Presidency) remains to be seen. But let's just say that Sarah Palin is sleeping a lot more soundly this weekend...

[Commenters: Did I miss anything?]

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Smells Like Peen Spirit

In a post two days ago, Fosco reported on the trend of calling Republican governors "governeros" (to appeal to the cowboy aesthetic of what remains of their party). In that post's title, Fosco referred to a Simpson's song about an SUV that claims it "smells like a steak." Well, it now occurs to Fosco to wonder what Republican governeros actually do smell like (and is it steak? No, it is not.).

Fosco has pondered this question and he has some theories. So, let's play the game: "What Does Your Republican Governor Smell Like?" Here are a few suggestions:

• Arnold Schwarzenegger (CA): coconut oil
  
• Sarah Palin (AK): mooseburgers and Britney Spears believe
  
• "Myman" Mitch Daniels (IN): urine
  
• Rick Perry (TX): Newport Lights
  
• Mark Sanford (SC): green apple Jolly Ranchers
  
• Tim Pawlenty (MN): talcum powder
  
• Linda Lingle (HI): poi
  
• Charlie Crist (FL): Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male

N.B.: there is no way that Fosco is going to propose a smell for Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal--there is just too much potential for unintentional racial issues.

But what about other Republican governeros? Any scents?

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"Wonder Years" Gets More Complicated

This story just gets more unpleasant. So of course, I have to write about it again.

You may remember thirteen-year-old Alfie Patten, the four-foot-tall British Fred Savage-lookalike who impregnated his fifteen-year-old girlfriend. Well, it turns out now that there is some question about paternity. Apparently, Alfie's girlfriend, Chantelle, may be something of what the British refer to as a "slutter." Indeed, there are already two other young men (ages 16 and 14) who claim that they could be the father of Chantelle's baby. And it looks like poor Alfie will have to take a DNA test. If only these kids lived in the US, then we could get Montel to settle the whole thing in one hour.

Of course, whether or not Alfie is the father, he's already won over this blogger with his intelligence and charisma:

Once indoors [Alfie] gave a series of clipped answers to a long list of questions by an eager reporter from The People.

When asked if he loved Chantelle he said: ‘Dunno.

Did you get her a Valentine's card? ‘No!’

Did you know how babies were made before you had sex with Chantelle? ‘Course’.

Do you like changing the baby's nappies? ‘It's OK but getting it back in the clothes is hard - the arms are the worst bit.’

Are you looking forward to getting back to school soon? ‘No, school's dead boring.’

What are your favourite subjects? ‘Dunno. Haven't got any. Not maths.’

What would you like to do when you grow up? ‘Go in the Army, but Mum says she won't let me.’

I'm going to guess that he will be begging to return to school in a few weeks. Something tells me that life with Chantelle and a baby is going to make school look like Free Cotton Candy Day at the carnival. He also sounds exactly like the kind of boyfriend that you'd expect for a thirteen-year-old boy; clearly he wooed Chantelle with his pillow talk:

CHANTELLE: Oh Alfie, do you love me?
ALFIE: Dunno.
CHANTELLE: Isn't my new jumper [sweater] pretty?
ALFIE: [shrugs]
CHANTELLE: Did you remember today is our anniversary?
ALFIE: Can I have a biscuit [cookie]?
CHANTELLE: Will you ring [call] me later?
ALFIE: Maybe. I'm playin "Halo."

And lest you think that conservatives (even the British variety) would let this story pass without making it into an exemplar of crumbling social morality:

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith said: 'It exemplifies the point we have been making about broken Britain.'

‘It's not being accusative, it's about pointing out the collapse in some parts of society of any sense of what's right and wrong.'

Of course, the first problem here is the question of the exemplarity of the Alfie Patten case: does this one occurrence really signal a collapse of an entire society? Or, to put it another way, is this kind of thing happening all over Britain? This is an empirical question (and I don't really want to bother doing the required research); however, let me bet that Iain Duncan Smith hasn't done that research either.

The second problem here is the assumption that this incident has anything to do with "any sense of what's right and wrong"--at least in the way that Smith seems to mean it. I think we can all agree that it's better when teenagers don't have babies; but there will then be a disagreement over the best way to make sure this doesn't happen.

On the wrong side, we have the sexual moralists (the "any sense of right and wrong" people). These are the folks who want to teach abstinence-only sex ed and sell purity rings. Which is all well and good--except for the part about how instilling a strong sense of "right and wrong" doesn't seem to have anything to do with teenage pregnancy rates (just ask Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol). If Iain Duncan Smith and the British conservatives find this hard to believe, I think we can arrange a nice tour of Wasilla, AK, or of the more Evangelical parts of the American South for that matter.

Is Fosco claiming to have the answer for preventing teenage pregnancy? Not quite--although contraceptive education is probably part of the solution. As for the problem of thirteen-year-olds having sex (with or without contraception), I think we have to consider the ways in which our culture sexualizes young people. If we are going to continue to conceptualize adolescence as the beginning of full sexuality, we cannot be too surprised when even little Fred Savage does the nasty.

Jonathan Turley Says Smart Things

With a couple of exceptions, Fosco doesn't care much for lawyers. But he is having an intellectual love affair with Professor Jonathan Turley of George Washington University School of Law. This guy is one of the smarter talking heads that Fosco has ever seen on television. Here he is on last night's Countdown, talking about Bush's war crimes:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

You know why I like him? Because he says stuff like this:

We need to be honest. There is great love for President Obama and I have great respect for him. But you cannot say that you believe that no one is above the law and block the investigation of the war crimes by your predecessor. It is a position without principle; it is because you believe it's politically inconvenient. And by simply saying that you will do a special commission--it's like you have special justice. But at the end of the day, no one believes that people will be prosecuted for a known war crime. And what do we do when we do that? When we do that, then we will become accessories. Those crimes by President Bush will become our crimes; his shame will become our collective shame. That's what happens when you protect someone accused of war crimes from even an investigation.

He says lots of other good stuff in the clip above--this is just the highlight. I think he's exactly right: we cannot let Bush/Cheney go uninvestigated. Sorry, Obama: "looking forward" just isn't an option here.

Hey, I just learned that Jonathan Turley has a blog! Bonus!

Should Obama Help Elkhart?

Tomorrow, President Obama will make a speech in Elkhart, Indiana--a town very near where Fosco grew up (he still knows people who live there). It will be O's first visit with ordinary (trust me: very ordinary) Americans since becoming president. He will use the speech to play up the stimulus package and he couldn't have chosen a better place. Elkhart currently has the highest unemployment in the US (eighteen percent, according to Elkhart's mayor). This piece in USA Today offers the whole sad story about Elkhart.

You see, up until a few years ago, Elkhart used to call itself the "RV Capital of the World." They even have an RV Hall of Fame (Fosco has not visited yet, but Todd volunteers to give tours there on Sundays). Of course, the bad news for Elkhart is that the RV industry is not going to recover. Ever. The cheap-gas era is over. And I don't see "the electric RV" in my crystal ball. And the Senate Republicans can cut income taxes as much as they want (not that they really want to cut taxes for the lower middle class), but it's not going to bring RV jobs back to Elkhart.

I mean, I'm sure some of the Neo-Confederates would only be too happy to offer some low-paying, no benefits jobs to Elkhartians (let's open another WalMart!), but that's not really the kind of jobs that Elkhart needs, right? Hey, I have an idea: what if we invest in education and infrastructure! Maybe we could re-train some workers and set others to work on our crumbling transportation and electrical grids. Hmmm. I wish someone were proposing that kind of plan...

But do you know what's so maddening about Elkhart? The entire local economy has been "cratering" (to quote a geriatric schizoid) for over a year; and yet, this deeply racist and die-hard fundamentalist city still couldn't bring itself to vote for Obama last November. Fosco wants to fly back to Elkhart and grab each McCain voter by the collar and shake him or her: if the election had gone differently, do you really think John McCain would be giving a flying fuck about your hick-ass town right now? But hey--I'm sure you'd find unemployment less hopeless as long as there were fewer overseas abortions and a family of certifiable morons living in the Vice President's mansion.

At least some people in Elkhart have come around. As the USA Today article notes:

This area did not vote for Obama in November, but The Elkhart Truth newspaper is on board with that message now. "President Obama needs to help Congress understand that the stimulus package isn't about politics. It's about survival," the newspaper said in a Sunday editorial.

Maybe it would help if the residents of Elkhart (and other cities in Indiana) made a few calls to their elected representatives--and thought twice about voting for the Republican ones next election cycle.

Another Obama convert (sort of):

It feels that way to Ed Neufeldt, a father of seven who lost his $20-an-hour job in September. He had been building RVs at Monaco Coach for 32 years when his boss came out of a meeting in tears and announced that the company was closing its plant, putting 1,400 out of work.

Neufeldt, 62, has two children living at home, and two of his grown daughters and their husbands — all four also RV industry workers — are out of work as well.

When his unemployment runs out next month, "I don't know what I'm going to do," Neufeldt says. "I've been trying to find a job, but there aren't any jobs out there. I can't even get a minimum-wage job."

He didn't vote for Obama, but he's backing him now. In fact, Neufeldt will introduce the president at Monday's town-hall-style meeting. "Sometimes you don't care too much for the coach," he says, "but you're praying for him to win."

After eight years of a president who essentially ignored large portions of the electorate because they didn't vote for him (remember black people in New Orleans?), I think we finally may have elected someone who is willing to help all Americans--regardless of whether they can reciprocate with votes/donations. And while Fosco suspects that there are a number of people in Elkhart who don't really deserve Obama's help, it makes it all the more moving that they are going to get it anyway.

I hope Obama can help Elkhart. And I hope Elkhart can bring iself to acknowledge him when he does.