Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Feast of St. Bridget (Jones)

Happy Valentine's Day, my readers. I hope that you are staying warm and dry in the embrace of someone you love/like/paid for.

In case you were wondering, St. Valentine is indeed the patron saint of those in long-term relationships; however, if you are still looking for someone, you would do better to address your prayers to St. Raphael, according to this article from the BBC. The piece notes that

St Raphael is the patron saint for happy encounters
Which means that I unknowingly prayed to him a lot during my "bathhouse years" in the late 1990s...

And what about those of you who are looking for someone special this year? A spokesperson for the British Catholic Church has some advice:
"There is a lot of evidence to suggest that young people who have tapped into prayer groups have found partners," she said.

"Those who have exhausted traditional routes like online dating should try spiritual networks.

"Why not come along to a prayer group - it could be your lucky night."
Isn't it funny that online dating is now considered a "traditional route"? How things have changed in the last fifteen years!

As for meeting someone at a prayer meeting or church service, Fosco encourages it--especially if you're ugly. Interestingly, several of Fosco's homelier cousins met their mates that way. In fact, those types of gatherings may be some of the last situations in our society where physical attractiveness is irrelevant. After all, god loves your insides, right? The only problem is that most religions then encourage the production of numerous ugly children...


Anonymous said...

I didn't meet the BeeMistress in church, but my version of heaven on earth is to marry a God-fearing woman who is a freak in bed.

The BeeMaster

Word Verification: sualer

What God-fearing women who are freaks in bed do...

Jill said...

Anon made me laugh...sualer!

My husband doesn't even like being friends with unattractive people, we laugh about it...obviously we also don't attend church. I would probably go up in flames as soon as I crossed the threshold.

FOSCO said...

@BeeMaster: Of course you didn't meet the BeeMistress at a prayer meeting or in church: you are both too attractive! You met like normal people do--in bed the morning after.

Your "sualer" joke is my favorite thing this week.

@Jill: Having an unattractive friend only makes one look even hotter! It's why the hottest cheerleader always has a chubby, homely friend.

Anonymous said...

You think only unattractive people attend church? Where did THAT come from?

The BeeMistress is VERY attractive. And I'm, um, pleasant to be around?

The BeeMaster

FOSCO said...

@BeeMistress: I don't think that only unattractive people attend church!

I think that only unattractive people meet their mates through church-sponsored activities. Attractive people meet their mates elsewhere.

Which is why you and BeeMaster did not meet each other through church.

Anonymous said...

Good point. Fundamentalist Christian chicks do rock, but they seem to save it for outside the building. Just my experience.