Next Step: Liposuction!

As Fosco noted in passing in a previous post, there seems to be evidence that Obama's favorite mega-pastor Rick Warren might be living the hair-plug driven life. Take a look at this comparison and judge for yourself:

Rick Warren, circa 2006:


Rick Warren, circa June 2008:


The hair dye is obvious (and so are the contact lenses). But I also think it's pretty clear that his hairline has moved somewhat closer to his forehead. It's not drastic, but it's still noticeable. Alas, it looks like what we have here is a case of garden-variety vanity or pride (wait--isn't that one of the seven deadly... somethings...? I'm blanking...).

Of course, there is also the possibility that this man is actually just getting younger? And if that's the case, I want to worship his god!

A Reasonable Response to an Anti-Gay Inauguration

In case you missed it while you were playing Rock Band 2 all weekend, Frank Rich had an excellent op-ed piece in the NYTimes about the whole Rick Warren inauguration kerfuffle. Fosco, like a lot of gays, has been trying to come to terms with Obama's choice in a way that doesn't minimize its hurtfulness without overplaying its importance (and Fosco will be first to admit that he has yet to find the right balance). Luckily, Frank Rich's column does all of Fosco's work for him.

[Before we begin, I have to know: do the older pictures of Warren (like the one above) raise the issue of whether he's now sporting a hair transplant?]

But back to Rich's column...

One of the questions raised by the Warren choice is that of the extent to which people with repugnant viewpoints should be allowed "at the table" as it were. To what extent can Obama maintain something like a "big tent" of political opinion without actively banishing large sections of the US populace (like the Christian right)? In this case, a distinction needs to be made between "at the table" and "at the head of the table." Rich is right on here:

But there’s a difference between including Warren among the cacophony of voices weighing in on policy and anointing him as the inaugural’s de facto pope. You can’t blame V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire, the first openly gay Episcopal bishop and an early Obama booster, for feeling as if he’d been slapped in the face. “I’m all for Rick Warren being at the table,” he told The Times, but “we’re talking about putting someone up front and center at what will be the most-watched inauguration in history, and asking his blessing on the nation. And the God that he’s praying to is not the God that I know.”

Similarly, we have to raise the question of the balance between all the good that Rick Warren does (focusing on climate change, poverty and AIDS, for example) and his evil (comparing gay marriage to incest, pedophilia, etc.) Once again, Rich gets it:

Warren, whose ego is no less than Obama’s, likes to advertise his “commitment to model civility in America.” But as Rachel Maddow of MSNBC reminded her audience, “comparing gay relationships to child abuse” is a “strange model of civility.”

Rick Warren may be saying the right things on lots of different issues, but that doesn't change the fact that he has openly lied about gay marriage. It is one thing to say that his religion leads him to oppose gay marriage; it's another thing to raise fear and hatred by comparing gay marriage to the bogeymen of incest and child abuse. Once again, it is possible for us to condemn Rick Warren without condemning all religion.

The other big question here is why Obama, a strong supporter of (most) LGBT rights, thinks this is a good idea in the first place. Hint: there's hubris involved...

Much more to the point is the astute criticism leveled by the gay Democratic congressman Barney Frank, who, in dissenting from the Warren choice, said of Obama, “I think he overestimates his ability to get people to put aside fundamental differences.” That’s a polite way of describing the Obama cockiness.
[...]
When Obama defends Warren’s words by calling them an example of the “wide range of viewpoints” in a “diverse and noisy and opinionated” America, he is being too cute by half. He knows full well that a “viewpoint” defaming any minority group by linking it to sexual crimes like pedophilia is unacceptable.

Obama would love to be able to force a reconciliation between the gays and the evangelicals based solely on the power of his (admittedly commanding) personality. Unfortunately, however, there are conflicts that can't be mended through the power of personality or through the strategy of extreme inclusion. There are indeed issues on which we cannot "all just get along" and these are the issues that Obama, as someone who aspires to some version of progressivism, needs to take a stand on.

Of course, in the end, none of this will really matter much if Obama repeals "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," opposes a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, and works to pass ENDA. On this point, Rich quotes historian Timothy McCarthy:

McCarthy added that it’s also time “for President-elect Obama to start acting on the promises he made to the LGBT community during his campaign so that he doesn’t go down in history as another Bill Clinton, a sweet-talking swindler who would throw us under the bus for the sake of political expediency.” And “for LGBT folks to choose their battles wisely, to judge Obama on the content of his policy-making, not on the character of his ministers.”

If Obama does this, I'm willing to give him a pass on Rick Warren. So now let's get back to Rock Band.

True Love Doesn't Wait (Duh!)

What everyone except your idiot pastor already knew:

Think back to your teen years... raise your hand if you've had sex with someone who wanted to stay a virgin until marriage (N.B., there is no such thing as an "anal sex loophole"). Yes, I thought so.

Of course, this would just be good for another belly laugh at the expense of misguided and pointless campaigns like True Love Waits (which is a stupid idea but a great Radiohead song); that is, if it didn't appear that these ineffective virginity pledges are actually associated with decreased use of sexual protection and birth control. As the article notes:

Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.

For those of you who need me to spell it out, this means increased risk of sexually transmitted disease as well as teen pregnancy (both things that we probably would like to avoid on a societal level).

So by all means, America: keep up this whole virginity-pledge thing in lieu of real, effective sex education. Heck, it worked out well for Bristol Palin--her pregnancy has allowed her to lock down high-school dropout and sex on skates, Levi Johnston. She's one lucky woman.

From the Annals of "News"

During the last twenty-four hours,

• Israel went on the offensive against Hamas in Gaza.
  
• the military coup in Guinea consolidated its power.
  
• Kashmir continues to vie to be ground zero for the first nuclear war.
  
• and, closer to home, Satan Bush has opened the California coastline to oil drilling.

With all this important news, can you imagine what is on the front page of the (online) New York Times?


Oh. I see. Well, I guess it's this kind of insightful cultural journalism that makes the Times so respected (especially among the skating youth).

Buy Rand-McNally Stock

Reasonable people can argue about the outcome of our current financial crisis: either things will eventually return to normal or never be the same again. But thank goodness there are also unreasonable people who can provide us with much-needed entertainment during this crisis. And so we have Russian political science professor Igor Panarin, who is predicting that the US will break apart in a giant civil war in the year 2010. You can read the WSJ article here.

Now while Fosco doesn't need to be convinced that secession by several Southern states (goodbye Texas!) would indeed be a desirable thing, Professor Panarin's predictions are much nuttier. Here's a good one:

California will form the nucleus of what he calls "The Californian Republic," and will be part of China or under Chinese influence.

That would certainly make it easier for Fosco to get a hold of his favorite Chinese melamine chews. But really--China? China is going to assume control of the Western US? Has this guy ever been to California? Based on recent voting trends, it seems more likely to Fosco that "The Californian Republic" would fall under Mormon control--especially as Utah is predicted to be part of the same "Californian Republic."

How silly! You know, the only thing that seems more far-fetched than a China-controlled California would be...

Canada will grab a group of Northern states Prof. Panarin calls "The Central North American Republic."

Fear the rise of Imperial Canada! Fear it! They are coming for our Great Lakes! Although, come to think of it, most Midwesterners might not mind doing business in a stable and valuable currency.

Need more laughs? Here's the full map:

Actually, maybe the best part is the return of Alaska to Russia. Luckily, Alaska has someone someone who knows a lot about Russia.

So what does this mean? Well, Fosco is going to celebrate July 4th like a mofo this year, because apparently it will be the last one.

Oz's Secret Life?

Fosco just took an online quiz called Is Your Man Gay? (N.B., the quiz asks for your email before displaying results, BUT you do not need to enter a real email to get them...). This seems like an important question, as Fosco and Oz are getting pretty serious and thinking about marriage (thanks for nothing, California). As the site notes,

Nobody wants to think their significant other is playing for the other team, but anything is possible. Some men are in a committed relationship and living on the down low. Is there a chance your man might prefer the company of men? Take our telling quiz and find out if you're at risk for losing your man to the handsome guy next door.

Fosco has certainly met his share of guys like this (sometimes he's even "met" them). But when it comes to Oz, this question seems particularly vexing--especially as the "handsome guy next door" is a Brazilian surfer.

So what's the verdict? It's unhelpful.

We're not saying your man is gay; we're just saying he might be gay.

What the hell am I supposed to do with that conclusion? I mean, is Oz sleeping with Fosco because Oz is gay? Or because he "might be gay"? Which is it? How can I know? Help me, Carole Rome!

My Doppelgangers

Fosco saw this on KFR. Point: you type in your first and last names and it tells you how many people share your name.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 316 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Fosco (well, actually, the real human being behind the Fosco avatar) is a little surprised, as he's always thought his name is pretty common. At least it seems common. Did you know that this is fewer than the number of people in the US who have the surname "Crotch"? Seriously (337 vs. 316).

Also, did you know that there are 47 people in the US named "John Jesus"? And there are two people named "Linda Taco"? Yes!

Actually, if you want to talk about uniqueness, there is exactly one person in the US with the same name as Fosco's boyfriend Oz. Congrats, Oz!

And in this corner...

Even though it's almost over, you should spare a moment to think about Boxing Day. The definitive explanation of its name and its purpose can be found in this New York Times editorial. The author, Judith Flanders, argues that Americans could use a little bit of Boxing Day, provided that we stick with its original charitable purpose:

It would be good if Boxing Day were added to America’s list of legal holidays. (From over here, you look awfully light on time off anyway.) But not if it just became another day in the round of shop-eat-family-family-family.

Instead Boxing Day could return as a day of giving. Not necessarily cash — and not material to make uniforms — but rather one day a year to donate skills or effort, a day for sharing something of value in the larger community. Help someone whose first language isn’t English fill out driver’s license forms. Load an old lady’s iPod with Rogers and Hammerstein. Teach the boy next door to throw overhand, so the other kids stop teasing him.

What we really need to do is put down the punch bowl and pick up on what Punch magazine wrote more than 150 years ago: Don’t just keep “the Christmas of the belly: keep you the Christmas of the heart. Give — give.”

Fosco is onboard, except for that weird part about "teach the boy next door to throw overhand." That's pretty much like saying: "use your time to make the neighbor kid heterosexual." But, I suppose we don't have to take Flanders's advice. And, if your charitable contribution happens to involve a little foxy boxing, I think you should get double points in heaven.

Wow, Loot!

Despite the lack of fatal viruses, Christmas in Santa Cruz was wonderful, especially as it was Fosco and Oz's first Christmas spent together (last year, Fosco was in Snow Town). So what did Satan Sapna Santa bring us? I mean, besides joy and peace...

Remember how Oz has a bit of a collection going? Well, Fosco spent some quality time on eBay and came up with these beauties.

Yes, that Iron Man Mugg is a limited edition that was sold only at the San Diego Comic Con. And indeed, it does appear that Admiral Ackbar is saying "It's a trap!" (N.B., Admiral Ackbar knows when something is a trap.)

Fosco got a Mighty Mugg too! Remember Marvel's Vision? No? Well, that's why Fosco didn't have any friends in junior high. Well, at any rate, Vision was an android and a member of the Avengers (still not sounding familiar? Really?). Anyhoo, Fosco likes Vision and thinks he looks cool:


Look what Oz got for Fosco! Fosco loves this game, but had been holding off on owning it to prevent it from totally preempting his work. Is this the end of Fosco's academic career? Or does another, more lucrative, career beckon (viz. Rock God)?


Oz got a big present, too: does he know what it is?

Why, it's the IKEA Poäng Chair!

[See Isis skulking around behind it? She likes it for hiding.]

Fosco and Oz hope that, recession be damned, all of your material wishes came true this holiday season.

Christmas at Todd's

Too bad I missed Christmas at Todd's in South Bend:


Simply having a hemorrhagic Christmas time...

Christmas in Santa Cruz: A Postcard

Alas, Santa Cruz has neither the cold of South Bend nor the charm of Paris. But today, on Christmas, we did have a (double) rainbow.


Peace on earth. Good will to all.

A Christmas Poem

It's Christmas Eve, so Fosco will take a couple day break from postings on his NYC trip. For your Christmas reading (or listening), allow Fosco to offer you a poem. The poem is "On This Side Nothing" (2002) by Jennifer Moxley. It's somewhat difficult, but it captures well the ambivalences one feels at this time of year.

To all of you loyal readers: Merry Christmas, my friends.



ON THIS SIDE NOTHING
The objects have gone quiet. Even old
Mister Unicorn has run out of words,
despite his painted red lips. Things inured
to emptiness continue with their cold
busyness. And thus the flurry of cash
around the center silence still appears
charitable tinsel, bright with the solace
of distress, the joy of being in arrears
so much more joyful than other joys. Songs
unlike a virus have grown in this season
of record rare, they sound an echo long
in repose and leave conflicted reason
to its bafflement. Things couldn’t be worse,
or could, we could resist, or complacent
argue against resistance, neither course
puts change at risk. Though we lay adjacent
the cold garden wall and exquisitely sigh
it will come, freed perhaps of our compelling
but nevertheless compelled. It’s well-nigh
Christmas, snow covers the ground and is falling.
the thirsty birds have re-opened our hands:
though weary of ritual tending we deck
the house yet again, reenact the ends
of long antiquated customs, rectify
the aggressive apathy that binds us
to our friends. To what design? What lie lies
hidden in an ornament, in a truss
of tissue snug in a box? An old idea
forced into perverted service of the new
makes strange commerce of this cold affection
enfoiled in childish fables, a revenue
of hope out of the heart’s aphasic diction.
And if it prove false, at least daily labor
will feel refreshed in the wake of leisure.
The bonvivant who repeats “love thy neighbor”
does no harm, and Tennyson’s sad measure
of years since we last saw our friend can bring
to mind a loss reduced from one December
to the next, a comfort and reminder
that we are at worst, on this side, nothing,
and risk nothing, to fight against and yet
not cut the feeling from our breast in queer
penance to a blundering world, to split
the will in two, to tell the truth, to fear
defeat, etc. The thought-ruined things
have done their work to keep our sentiment
in trust, though now we know we raised the scene
neither for ourselves nor for the love of it,
but out of some mislaid duty to form—
a table, a ribbon, a set of rules—
to adjust the love of a furious home,
but do not think we were born to be fools
or bred to thoughtless and false happiness,
given our time’s caution and your kind lash
it has never been easy for us to say yes.

[Listen to Jennifer Moxley read this poem live here.]

NYC Journal: Central Park

Fosco and Oz were a little worried that it would be too cold to talk a long walk in Central Park. Luckily, it wasn't (although it wasn't warm). Every time Fosco visits Central Park, he marvels again: the contribution that Central Park makes to livability in Manhattan is hard to overestimate. If only every mega-city had a park like this. I mean, look at it!


The doubled towers of the Time Warner Center look pretty good:


The Plaza Hotel is one of the most beautiful buildings in this country:


Make way for ducks! If you think they're cold, look again. Those are the fattest ducks I've ever seen.


This one's our favorite. No swimming for him--he's no sucker!


The reason Fosco most wanted to walk through Central Park is that Oz (born and raised in the Sandwich Islands) has never played in the snow. So Fosco wanted to watch Oz play in the snow. Fosco thought it would be cute and he was right. Want to see how cute?



Awww. Fosco melts every time!

More NYC stories/pix to come.

NYC Journal: Buddakan

As mentioned previously Fosco and Oz's flight arrived with no delay on Friday, allowing our heroes to make their dinner reservation at downtown pan-Asian hotspot Buddakan (N.B.: if you are interested in gorgeous web design, you need to follow that link to the website).

Buddakan is a Manhattan outpost of the Philadelphia-based Steven Starr Restaurant Group. Fosco is actually kind of a fan of Starr restaurants, after eating at Philadelphia's Pod several years ago (imagine eating yummy sushi while living inside a [just-slightly] updated version of the film 2001: A Space Odyssey and you'll be close).

"Top Chef" superfans may recall Buddakan as the home of everyone's favorite culinary Filipino: intense and talented (and unjustly-eliminated) Season 4 contestant Dale Talde, who was sous chef at Buddakan.

This was Fosco's second visit to Buddakan and it's always an experience. Above all things, the restaurant is gorgeous--like almost no place Fosco has ever eaten. The design concept can be described as Hitler's bunker meets Grauman's Chinese Theater. Seriously. Here are two shots of the breath-taking main room:


This time, Fosco and Oz were seated in this room:

It's like a combination fallout shelter/bordello! Sexy and fun!

And what about the food? Well, the food is consistently interesting, although there are occasionally inexplicable failures. Sadly, the first dish we tried fits into this category. When you read "Deviled Tuna Tartare: chili mayonnaise, scallions," what do you think? Well, it looks about right...

Yes, all the ingredients seem to be there: raw tuna, chili mayo (smeared on the side), scallions on top. But then there is that inexplicable layer of green stuff under the tuna. Know what that is? Hard-boiled egg whites in a green sauce (maybe wasabi-spiced?). Does that sound delicious? It's not. The tuna was fine (although redundantly tossed with an overly spicy chili oil in addition to the chili mayo), but that egg stuff was bad. Yuck.

Our other choices were much more successful. These are the Hunan beef bao with tamarind mustard and pickles. The mustard was grand.


And these are the scallion pancakes with braised beef short ribs and green apples:

It turns out that beef ribs are great with green apples. Who would have thought?

From the entree list, we chose the Mongolian lamb chops crusted with crystallized ginger. If I had my way, lamb would always be crusted with crystallized ginger.


One of the hits of the night was the earthy and satisfying (though hardly photogenic) wild mushroom chow fun. Fosco loves noodles and mushrooms and this is a perfect combination. Sadly, the pic does not capture the gorgeous mushroomy-brown lacquer on those noodles.


Dessert was excellent (which is surprising at an Asian restaurant, no?). Fosco had the yuzu-filled crepes with kaffir lime semifreddo and kalamanzi milk sherbet. The crepes are in the lower right. The semifreddo is on the lower left. And the extraordinary kalamanzi sherbet is sitting on that bird nest. It looks like an egg! Witty!


Oz enjoyed the cinnamon-spice donuts with quince crumble and cinnamon ice cream. Well, to be accurate, he enjoyed everything but the quince.

And yes, that is a hard candy in the shape of a spring. Here's the close up:


While it's not the best restaurant in NYC, Buddakan was good place to kick off a weekend of culinary fun. And there is no more visually interesting place you could eat--well, at least that you could get reservations at. Stay tuned for more posts from Fosco and Oz's weekend in NYC.

NYC Journal: Holiday Decorations

While there are plenty of holiday decorations here in the Bay Area (although it can be difficult to see them), Christmas lights are better when you're somewhere cold and snowy... like New York! Luckily, Fosco and Oz were there last weekend. Here are some pictures.

Grand Central Station (near our hotel) has opted for the simple and tasteful wreath:


Saks Fifth Avenue chose something more... maximal. These giant snowflakes plastered their facade and performed a blinky light show to "Carol of the Bells."


The Saks display windows were extraordinarily elaborate. One of them had anthropomorphic snowflakes that rotate in pattern (as if they had been trained...):


You can see more photos of the Saks windows here. Or see the whole animatronic thing here.

Perhaps the most tasteful light display was in the lobby of the Time Warner Center.


And the least tasteful light display ever has to be Louis Vuitton on Fifth Avenue:

Fosco doesn't want to seem crotchety, but he thinks hip-hop has ruined that brand. Sigh.

And, of course, there is the classic of NYC lights--the Roc-A-Fella Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. Sadly, this blurry, dark shot is the best picture we got. Seriously. If only there were another way for you to see a picture of this tree... oh wait.

Stay tuned for more NYC pix.

NYC Journal: Introduction

Fosco and Oz made it back from New York City early Monday morning. All in all, the travel was pretty smooth, especially considering that New York received the first two snowstorms of the year on the two days we were flying. Interestingly, our flight on Friday arrived at JFK airport twenty minutes early! Kudos to that airline with the lavender-lit fleet.

(Sadly, Fosco squandered those extra twenty minutes and more by insisting that he and Oz take the subway from the airport instead of a cab. This was a bad, bad idea. "Beat the traffic and be in Manhattan in just 35 minutes!" Lies!)

And how was New York? Well, for one thing, it was cold. Not cold for New Yorkers, I'm sure, but remember: Fosco has lived in Santa Cruz for 2 and a half years now. As for Oz, he's originally from the Sandwich Islands and had never actually seen snow. Indeed, there was much whimpering and numbness. (Although, after returning to a monsoon in San Francisco, Fosco and Oz do see some virtue in snow.)

But, of course, even in the cold New York is just better than any other city: more cosmopolitan, more intellectual, more interesting, more fun. I love watching someone read a French novel on the L train. Or wincing as our African immigrant cabbie changes lanes four times in one block. Or seeing a building lit up for Hanukkah.

In the next few days, Fosco will share more stories and pictures from the trip (including restaurant reviews: pastries, burgers, and Jean Georges!).

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering what Fosco and Oz's kitty Isis was doing all weekend while they were gone, I'm pretty sure this about covers it:



To tell the truth, that isn't much different from what Fosco does most days...

From the Annals of Things I Do NOT Want to Watch

From the front page of the Huffington Post:


Ummm... I think I'll pass.

[Apparently, they just meant that you can watch this.]

Isis and her girlfriend

Fosco and Oz are raising a kitty named Isis. Isis has a toy mouse that she loves (maybe because there's catnip inside). The mouse's name is Condoleeza Mice, but we just call her Condi. Never having owned a pet, Fosco didn't really understand cross-species same-sex attraction, but apparently there is lots of licking involved.


Isis sez: "Don't judge my relationship with Condi. We're in love."

An Alternate (Better?) Reality

After events of the past week, there's a part of Fosco (the very gay part) who kinda wishes RuPaul were actually our new president...

Merry Christmas from a gay-friendly US.

New York Serenade

By the time you read this, Fosco and Oz will be in New York City (weather permitting... sigh). You may remember that, in his post on Oz's birthday, Fosco alluded to a "more elaborate" celebration to come. Well, this is it: a pre-Christmas weekend in NYC. Plans include sightseeing, art, and lots and lots of good food.

But do not fear, dear readers: Fosco has a number of dispatches ready to auto-post over the weekend.

Check back early next week for lots of pictures.