No on Prop 8

If you live in California, please vote NO on Prop 8 today.

Read here about the nutballs who are responsible for this hateful measure.

Read here about the amazing work against Prop 8 being done by Fosco's friend Ted Gideonse.

Happy Birthday to Todd

Today is not just election eve--it's also the birthday of my dear friend Todd. Here's a cake for you, Todd...

I know which piece I don't want.

Here's hoping you get your birthday wish.

Bad Election Verbage [sic]

For those of us who care about words, it's time to dissect this interminable election. What are the worst words and phrases that you've heard during the campaign (from the media, from the candidates, from the voters)?

Glenn Greenwald kicks it off: the phrase "commander-in-chief" offends his progressive sympathies.

Fosco decided to make a list. And what better way to make a list than by using the Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator? Consider these phrases to be "On Notice" (i.e., Fosco never wants to hear any of them again--at least in connection to politics).

Join in, commenters!

How McCain Could Win

As featured on Guanabee:

Apparently, this is what Walnuts McCain would look like if he were actually a member of his secret black family. I don't know about you, but I actually think it makes Walnuts look more good-natured and approachable. Now this is a man I would want in the White House! (I guess this is no surprise, as television has been familiarizing us with crusty-yet-lovable old black men for more than thirty years. Like him. Or him. Or him.)

As for "Chet Obama" there: why are white people such dorks? (And is he wearing John Edwards's hair?)

All the details on this poster can be found here.

The Final Countdown

Okay, if you haven't watched the best television show of this decade, Arrested Development, this post will be less enjoyable (although if you like to laugh at amateur magicians, you still might find this worth your while).

From an article in yesterday's Santa Cruz Sentinel: "There is magic in the air when the Coastal Magicians Club meets at the Live Oak Senior Center."

Granted, it's no "Magician's Alliance"; however, the club does seem pretty worthy of Gob Bluth.

According to the past-president, "Red Malone":

"My tricks cost me about $150 these days" said Malone, who regularly buys the secrets of how to do tricks and the materials needed from Hocus Pocus Magic Shop in Fresno.

Not tricks, Michael. Illusions.

Hear, hear.

Here's another great reason to love that "chirpy lesbian" Rachel Maddow:

Callin' for Barry

In an attempt to alleviate some of his election anxiety through action (and because he's run out of money to send to Obama-Biden), Fosco volunteered at his local Obama campaign headquarters today.

Because Fosco lives in California (which is completely "in the tank" for Obama), volunteering means making phone calls to lesser, er, "swing" states. The local HQ was hopping, with 15-20 volunteers at work (on a Sunday!). Fosco made calls for several hours to voters in Florida and Missouri.

In Florida ("America's Wang"), Fosco was calling mainly within Broward County, home of many elderly and tan. His calls in Missouri (the "Show-Me-Your-Tits State") were all over the place (as far as Fosco can tell, Missouri is made up of two cities: St. Louis and Everywhere Else).

On the whole, calling wasn't too discouraging. Floridians are mostly fatigued with election calls at this point (although that's their own fault--if they could be trusted to run a fair and efficient election...). Fosco talked to some nice Obama supporters. The McCain supporters weren't outright rude. Fosco spoke with three actual undecided voters (!), but he has no especial insight into this particular strain of psychosis (see below).

Most interestingly, Fosco did have a conversation with a Florida voter who was channeling the Crazy McCain Rally Lady. She kept asking me if Obama was from "the same people" that we're fighting over in Iraq (she didn't seem too impressed when I noted that he was born in the Sandwich Islands). However, she also said she isn't planning on voting at all, so that's just fine with Fosco.

Strangely, during the Missouri calls, Fosco found himself slipping into a mild Southern accent (droppin' his 'g's, etc.). I guess I'm just a regular Joe SixPack at heart.

Things You Should Know

Here's one of those "miscellaneous" posts, in which Fosco points you toward interesting titbits of information from the last few days.

• The recipient of the world's first face transplant is somewhat ambivalent about the whole thing. Although, she is French--and, as far as I'm concerned, the French invented ambivalence.
  
  What happened to her original face? Her dog ate it. I'd just like to point out that a pug would never do that.
  
  
• Remember how fiction totally sucks unless it's actually based on real events? Well, luckily for Willem Dafoe Daniel Defoe fans, Robinson Crusoe's island has been discovered! Begin the countdown until it becomes a theme park... now!
  
  
• Do you and your wives have trouble deciding who to vote for? Well, you're in luck, you crazy Fundamentalist Mormon. Because now there is a voter's guide for you and all of your nubile teenage daughters/brides (Note: nubile teenage daughters/brides may not vote until they are 18). The article does not say who the polygamists support for president, but (and I'm just thinking out loud here) John McCain seems to have had a couple of wives...

N.B., for the next two (nail-biting) days, Fosco has embedded the widget from the brilliant poll-crunchers at fivethirtyeight.com (see the embed at top left). Fosco cannot recommend this site highly enough, especially if you (like Fosco) are

1. obsessed with Tuesday's election
   
2. "in the tank" for Obama (and might I suggest that this phrase is one of the most annoying of the whole election season?)
   
3. secretly into statistics

Enjoy!

Humblety humblety hummmmm...

Fosco and Oz generally don't go for that whole "outdoors" thing. Nature may be pretty (sometimes), but it rarely offers the excitement of Gears of War 2 nor the comfort of the sofa. But recently, Oz has caught on to Fosco's appreciation of hummingbirds (because they're cute and chock full of personality). Fosco has a hummingbird feeder on his balcony, but he wanted to show Oz an even greater variety of humbird behavior. And so, a couple of weeks ago, Fosco and Oz took an afternoon to hike the hummingbird trail at the UCSC Arboretum.

Unfortunately, there weren't many humbies out at the Arboretum that day. However, we did meet this little guy:

Within minutes of our arrival, this humbo flew over us and landed on a branch only three feet away from us. And then he sat there posing for us for several minutes. We decided to call him "Hammy" because he was such a ham for our camera. Hi Hammy!

That's about it for wildlife on our visit. We did see some crazy yellow flower:

Even crazier, this flower gets weird when it goes to seed:

Look at all those bearded clams!

And then some nasty black bug bit Oz and so we left.

Boo!

It's Halloween. That holiday that seems like it should still be fun when you're an adult (but isn't).

Fosco was on campus this morning and it occurred to him that Halloween at UCSC is a lot like Mullet Appreciation Day at WalMart: there's a difference, but it's hard to notice. I would estimate that only 1 out of 3 students wearing a weird outfit today was actually in costume. After all, this is a campus where some guy dresses everyday as Spike.

Fosco plans to spend tonight in bed, loaded with NyQuil.

But, before Fosco hits the hay, he'd like to offer you some scary pictures of Isis (who is, after all, a black cat). The first two pictures are only scary because Fosco's camera phone is crappy and Isis is speedy.



The final scary Isis picture is one of my favorites--I love it when she stands on her hind legs and I love it when she looks in the mirror. But what does she see... inside?

Political Roundup: Just... One... More... Week...

The wait is painful. So painful. Apparently Fosco is suffering from what HuffPo calls "election anxiety." Seriously. Fosco has even found himself discussing his election anxieties with his therapist. That's right, Fosco is paying someone to listen to his fears about Sarah Palin. All of it makes Fosco want to hide in a cow-box. Can you help Fosco build a cow-box?

Fosco isn't the only one who is unbalanced by this election. As Larry David says in his election anxiety piece (find it here):

I just don't like what I've turned into -- and frankly I wasn't that crazy about me even before the turn.

Fosco can only hope that he hasn't become as annoying as Larry David (tellingly, Fosco's boyfriend Oz refuses to comment).

Here are some stories from the last week that Fosco is still obsessing about:

• Fosco never thought he'd agree with anything that comes out of the mouth of preppy asshole Fucker Tucker Carlson. So what is wrong when Fosco finds the first half of this article to be right on? Fucker Tucker:
  

  it would be nice if we stopped pretending that anyone can run the government. Anyone can't, as successive administrations have learned the hard way.

  Luckily, just when Fucker Tucker starts to sound absolutely reasonable, he throws in something more problematic:
  

  In foreign policy, at least, it could be time to drop the [idea that democracy is always a good thing]. Elitism may be annoying, but the mob is dangerous.

  Can I wait to decide on that until November 5?
  
  
• Here are some good questions about Sarah Palin:
  
  Why does she hate science so much?
  Why would a well-educated woman idealize her?
  Is she dangerous for the game of hockey?
  
  Oh, and Fosco would like to suggest that whoever coined the acronym VPILF should win the Pulitzer Prize.
  
  
• Who's getting screwed by Bushonomics? Sadly, hit hard is Fosco's childhood home of Michiana. Here's an NYT article about the hopelessness that has hit Elkhart, Indiana. The Times calls Elkhart "the white-hot center of the meltdown of the American economy." Fosco stills knows people in this town, but he didn't realize things were so bad. As the article notes:
  

  The jobless rate in Elkhart has increased more than in any metropolitan area in the country; it rose over 4.8 percentage points from August 2007 to August 2008. According to labor statistics released this summer, nearly 10,000 people were out of work, a rate of 9.3 percent.

  Even sadder, is the Times's characterization of
  

  garage sales — which for scores of people in this town are a sole source of income, and for others the only source of clothing

  The Times is apparently quite fascinated by the phenomenon of Indiana garage/yard sales, as they make another appearance this week in this article. (In this interests of full disclosure, Fosco will admit that in his lifetime he has participated in four garage sales with his family.)
  
  
  Things are so bad in Indiana, it seems, that for the first time in 44 years Indiana may vote for a Democrat for president. When Fosco heard that Indiana may turn blue, he teared up. He never thought he'd live to see it.
  
  
• Of course, there's still one problem: the Republicans are going to steal this election. You know, just like they did last time.

Isis loves the feel of crossed words.

Fosco and Oz have a cat named Isis. She's very odd.

Isis sez: "Three letter word for dinner is 'nom.'"

Boyfriend Oz's New Obsession

Fosco's boyfriend Oz has a new hobby: toys! And by toys, Fosco means adult toys. No, not that kind of adult toys. Rather, a kind of adult toy known as Mighty Muggs by Hasbro (they also make kids toys). Mighty Muggs (as you can see to the right) are chubby plastic things (made from 100% recycled awesome, and they come in both Star Wars and Marvel varieties (as well as Indiana Jones, but I mean really... who cares!).

Oz started collecting the Star Wars Muggs (admittedly, at Fosco's suggestion) and has now moved on to the Marvel characters. He now has 12 or so. So far, our rule is to only purchase the Muggs at retail establishments (like Target and Toys Russe) and not on Ebay (at collectable-prices). But at some point, Fosco may have to shell out some big bucks on the internet to get Oz's beloved Darth Vader.

Here's a pic of Oz trying to look tough alongside two of his recent acquisitions, Count Dooku and Asajj Ventress:


Now if Fosco could get Oz to actually take them out of their boxes...

Fosco Left his Heart in Iceland

Fosco has been to Iceland twice and he loves it. They have super moody music, gorgeous landscape (no trees!), and a surprisingly vibrant national literature.

And how can you not love a country that has 100% literacy? That organizes its phone book by first name? That ferments sharks underground and then eats them?

Iceland rawks.

Sadly, though, Iceland has had a wee bit of trouble recently. Thanks to the world-wide crisis in weird financial derivatives, Iceland's banking system has collapsed. As the NYTimes reports, almost two weeks ago,

the government took over the last of three major banks and shut down the stock exchange.

Trading in the Icelandic krona ceased, with foreign banks no longer willing to take the currency — even at what seemed like bargain rates.

This is bad stuff (and not just for Iceland).

Can you imagine what would happen in the US if our banking system collapsed? How would you and your neighbors react? (Here's Fosco's guess.) However, the Icelandic people are responding in ways that only make Fosco love them more.

The BBC has it covered. It turns out that Icelanders are handling it all with the poise and equanimity of a Barack Obama:

A few passers-by [in Iceland] commented that, actually, things were perhaps not that bad. They didn't have any money anyway, so they had nothing to lose.

And how about the angry rioting mobs? Well, not quite:

By midday a crowd of Icelanders had gathered in the square in front of parliament to show unity, they said - stressing that this was certainly not a protest.

And to some degree that was what it felt like - people coming together for moral support.

As Icelandic rock star Bubbi Morthens notes:

"They feel that this gathering, and friends and family and love, are important. This is not a time for anger."

Can you see now why Fosco finds Icelanders to be so refreshing? So, take a moment today to send some money to the Iceland rescue!

Mormon Education Is A FRAUD.

That's right, Fosco used the F-word. And he's going to use it again:

FRAUD.

As in, "Mormon Education is a FRAUD."

Oh, and by "Mormon Education," he means Mormo State University (aka, BYU).

You may remember the nifty little calendar called "Mormons Exposed," featuring some shirtless Mormon missionary beefcake. The calendar really wasn't to Fosco's taste, but as Fosco had a college roommate with a raging hard-on for Mormons, Fosco was pleased that such a calendar exists. Not so the Mormon Church, who promptly excommunicated the calendar maker, Chad Hardy.

But now (and here's where we get to the FRAUD part), it turns out that BYU has revoked Hardy's academic degree. According to the report,

A Sept. 30 letter from Norman B. Finlinson, the school's executive director of student academic and advisement services, said a nonacademic hold was placed on Hardy's record after the church-owned university learned of the excommunication.

"If in the future you are reinstated as a member of the church in good standing, you are invited to contact my office regarding your possible eligibility for the awarding of a degree," Finlinson wrote.

Now I recognize that this kind of thing probably happens all the time at places like Bob Jones University (aka, BJU... teehee! I think I've seen that movie) or Bethel College. But at a (supposedly) national-caliber research university that is only too pleased to brag about the religious diversity of its student body? Ridiculous! I'm not sure we should be calling BYU a university anymore. So, from now on, Fosco promises to refer to that place only as BY"U" (and yes, when he does so in conversation, he will use air quotes).

Why do Mormons want to ruin everything?

HSM Week: VanHudge Lives Better than You Do

Now that you've seen too much of High School Musical 3 star Vanessa Hudgens, you can imagine that semi-nude teen puttering around her very own house (recession be damned!).

It's in LA, it cost almost three million, and it sounds pretty shmoove:

There are six bedrooms and 6 1/2 bathrooms in 5,200 square feet. The property has a Pebble Tec pool and spa, waterfalls, cabana and a barbecue island. The kitchen has Thermador appliances and copper sinks. There is a wine cellar with glass doors and Mexican wrought iron.

Six bedrooms. Just think about how many scented candles and Christmas lights she'll use to decorate!

Isis tries to mail herself

Fosco and Oz have a cat named Isis. She's not quite right.


Isis sez: "Please send me to Pope, please. He like kitties."

HSM Week: VanHudge Revealed!

In honor of HSM Week here at Fosco Lives!, Fosco is pleased to remind you what High School Musical 3 star Vanessa Hudgens looks like with most of her clothes off.


And yes, it's real.

BTW, I think Clarence Thomas would really like her.

There are really only two ways to drink Coke...

You have to admire the rhetorical skills of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Clemons Thomas. After all, this is the man who asked that timeless question: "Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?" Truly, that was a question that defined a generation. (N.B.: the answer is her).

Now Justice Thomas has offered new guidance for our troubled times in a lecture helpfully entitled "How to Read the Constitution" (hint: it starts with "We"). You can find Justice Thomas's speech here (if you don't mind the Wall Street Journal cooties on your browser).

For me, the highlight of Justice Thomas's lecture is this remarkable sentence:

Let me put it this way; there are really only two ways to interpret the Constitution -- try to discern as best we can what the framers intended or make it up.

You may not have noticed, but this sentence is an amazing rhetorical construction.

To demonstrate the sleight-of-hand here and its power, allow me remove the specific content of the final two clauses (everything after the "--") and replace that content with general descriptions of each clause:

Let me put it this way; there are really only two ways to interpret the Constitution-- [my way] or [everything else].

Doesn't the choice become painfully clear? And note that this construction becomes even more coercive when [everything else] becomes equated with something as irresponsible-sounding as "make it up." Wow. We are clearly dealing with high-level legal reasoning here.

And it's fun! Behold the magic:

Let me put it this way; there are really only two ways to swim--backstroke or flail your arms and legs (rhythmically or not).

Let me put it this way; there are really only two sexual orientations--heterosexuality or fuck anything. (Wait, this one sounds familiar...)

Let me put it this way; there are really only two choices for dinner--lasagna or some combination of some subset of the rest of the matter in the universe.

But you get the idea... Kids--try your own at home!

Best Week Ever!

This week is gonna rawk!

That's because on Friday, ONLY IN THEATERS, it's time for High School Musical 3: Senior Year (caution: link involves spirited drumming).

Because Fosco is (not-so) secretly a tween girl, he is tingly with excitement over this film (all the way to the tips of his budding breasties!). In fact, as Fosco writes this post, he is listening to a (apparently pirated) copy of the HSM3 soundtrack. And like any tween girl, Fosco is listening to the ballads and singing the VanHudge parts to his boyfriend Oz (who, sulkily, refuses to sing the ZacFron parts).

I suppose by now, the eagle-eyed reader has noticed that the pic above is not actually the cast members of HSM, but strange, racially-matched lookalikes. Yep, apparently some theater troupe in Georgia did their own production. Half of Fosco wants to laugh; the other half wants to audition for Ryan.

Of course, the big question on Fosco's mind is this: what will senior year hold for Disney's modern Mouseketeers? Judging from the trailer, we can expect some surprising developments:

• Gabrielle and Troy can stop time like that chubby Japanese guy on "Heroes."
  
• Troy and his b-ball buddies appear to don Klan hoods.
  
• there seem to be visual references to Grease, Footloose, and maybe even L'Année dernière à Marienbad.
  
• it appears that Usher is not the DJ at their prom.

In honor of this film, Fosco has made this week HSM week here at Fosco Lives!. Stay tuned for more fun!